


Nailed

by Prince_Darkcloud, UnshadowedHeart



Category: One Piece
Genre: Bottom Zoro, Dubious Consent, M/M, Mpreg, Uke Zoro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-01
Updated: 2013-06-27
Packaged: 2017-11-01 18:39:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 45,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/360005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prince_Darkcloud/pseuds/Prince_Darkcloud, https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnshadowedHeart/pseuds/UnshadowedHeart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Their relationship was purely casual; a quick screw here and there, and that was that. However, after an incident with Ivankov, things get complicated. Now, for the sake of unborn life, Zoro and Sanji try to establish some level of a relaitonship. But of course, love is never easy. Sometimes, it's damn near impossible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nailed

**Author's Note:**

> Alright~ this is who played who:
> 
> PD: Usopp, Nami, Sanji, Franky, Saga, Ivankov  
> Shadow: Luffy, Zoro, Chopper, Robin, Brook

Zoro was most definitely not lost. No. He had just felt a little dizzy and decided it was best for him to take some time off. He was resting against a tree...somewhere, arms folded behind his head and splayed out comfortable. The epitome of a carefree spirit and someone who by no means was to be awoken.

Of course, while Zoro's notoriety kept those with weak hearts away, it hardly discouraged others from approaching. "Excuse me~ Sword-boy~ You are a member of Mugiwara-boy's crew, no?"

Zoro peeked his good eye open and grunted. "Sure. What do you want?" He didn't really spend much time figuring out what the person looked like or anything. Not important. He kept a hand on his sword, just in case the person decided to get aggressive.

"H-Hey, w-w-what are you planning on doing with that sword?" The voice sounded absolutely terrified, the crunching of footsteps indicating that he had taken a precautionary step back. "I-I'm but a defenseless messenger, come to look for a man! P-Please, don't hurt me~" He cried dramatically.

Sighing, Zoro let go of his sword but kept it within reach. "What do you want." He sat up with a sigh, cracking his back.

"Please...please don't hurt me...I...I....IIII'm just kidding~ HEE~HAAWW~" The man stood up straight again, standing proud in his awkward purple outfit, chest protruding proudly. "I've come to talk to Mugiwara-boy, and this was the quickest way from where we dropped off our dear Candy-chan~ Who would've guess we'd find a wayward swordsman on our way." Ivankov sighed dramatically.

Zoro nearly shit himself at the sudden dramatic change in attitude. "Spit out what you want already. Who the hell is...Candy-chan?" He had no idea who that was...

"I've already told you! Sheesh. Mugiwara-boy really does have some dense friends~" Ivankov looked to his trusty sidekick. "I suppose we'll have to take him back to his ship. I've heard this boy has a notoriously bad sense of direction~"

"Can you please leave me alone?" Zoro asked, not exactly liking the thought of going with these strange men. "Do you know Luffy?" If they knew Luffy he could probably trust them. Maybe.

"Are you questioning my credibility~?" Ivankov leaned in dangerously close. "Do you have any idea who you're talking to~?"

"No." Zoro wasn't very tactful about his words, and he wasn't going to dance around the subject, either.

Ivankov put on another dramatic show, but when he could see the audience wasn't interested, he straightened up. "I was there with your captain at the War of the Best! Who do you think saved him from Impel Down you ungrateful brat~!"

"I don't really care." Zoro shrugged and sighed. "Are you going to take me back to the ship then?

"You're a terrible first mate," Iva huffed, "not even thanking the savior of your captain~! Ah, well, I suppose Mugiwara-boy would like his swordsman back. Let's head to, shall we? HEE~HAAW~!" Ivankov went hurrying through the jungle. If that boring swordsman wanted out, he'd have to keep up!

Sighing, Zoro started trekking after the transvestite. Or whatever he was. It only took him one wrong turn before he was lost and running in circles, but thankfully saw Ivankov again and ran after him.

"This is your ship, isn't it? Roronoa-boy~" Iva asked, looking up at the impressive ship with the lion's head. When he got no response, he looked around. "Roronoa-boy? GEHH~!" Iva saw Zoro disappear over the railing of the wrong boat. He and Inazuma ran over, but the ship sunk beneath the surface before they made it there. "Oh, dear~"

A few minutes later, Zoro resurfaced along with the ship, wearing an annoyed frown. "Wrong ship."

“HOW DO YOU GET ON THE WRONG SHIP~? THAT’S YOUR HOME, ISNT’ IT~?” Iva’s eyes bugged out as he exclaimed, absolutely astounded. He was ignored.

Zoro climbed onto the dock with a sigh and looked over, seeing the Sunny and started walking towards it, seeming completely unperturbed by his near drowning besides a slight annoyance.

"Oi! Marimo!" Sanji called from where he leaned against the ship’s rail. He, too, had witnessed Zoro board the wrong ship, and had momentarily been worried about their idiotic swordsman. He was relieved, though not surprised, when Zoro reemerged, perched pompously atop a split ship.

"Shit cook," Zoro greeted as he came aboard. "I was relaxing when I found these guys... They said they know Luffy." He cracked his back and shook himself, helping to dry off a bit.

"Caaandy~chyaaaan~" Ivankov greeted, winking one preposterously large eye. "We've come to see you off~"

"Ggghh!" Sanji shivered, "Get the hell away from me you freaks! I said my thank you's and my goodbye's, and I intended to leave it at that, god dammit!"

"You ungrateful boy~!" Iva fumed, "Become a sweet docile woman, like I've told you to, time and time again~!" He brought out his nails, and Sanji was instantly on the defense.

"You keep those away from me, bastard!"

Zoro raised his eyebrows at the two, but just shrugged and took his turn to lay back on Sunny's lawn and stretched out against the mast, right behind Sanji. Time to finish that nap that had been so rudely interrupted.

"This is it, Candy-chyaaaan!" Ivankov cried dramatically, leaping in the air to prepare to dive at Sanji.

"Like hell it is!" Sanji dodged, though just barely. Unfortunately, when he moved, Zoro was right behind him.

Only two of Iva's 5 injections hit. Though, unfortunately, they hit our unsuspecting swordsman instead of their original target.

Zoro nearly choked and coughed as he was injected with...whatever it was. He groaned, stomach cramping. After a few moments he felt warm and tingly underneath his skin in his abdomen. He sat up, holding his stomach. He glared up at the transvestite. "What the hell was that?"

"Oh, er, nothing, nothing~" Iva smiled, though he was clearly nervous about something. Only an idiot wouldn't see through it. "I really have to get back to my ship now~ Give Mugiwara-boy my best! HEE~HAW~" Ivankov quickly vacated the scene. He just hoped Sanji wouldn't say anything. Oh well. If he ran, he'd be safe.

Zoro sighed, feeling a bit dizzy. Maybe that had just been some sort of attack. Probably not deadly, or surely Ivankov would have said so. Any of Luffy's outside friends always tried not to kill his crew purposefully.

Sanji stared down at Zoro, waiting for the effects to come, but they never did. Perhaps it had all just been a bluff? Or maybe just an adrenaline drug or something. Just then, he noticed a peculiar smell in the air, a very nice smell. But as soon as he noticed it, it was gone again. "Hey, Zoro, you feel...okay?"'

Zoro made a face and sat up, rubbing his stomach. "I think I'm fine, dizzy." He groaned and got to his feet, leaning against the mast. "Think I need something to eat." He brushed past Sanji to go to the kitchen, not even asking if the cook would bother to make him something.

"Oi! Bastard! Who the hell do you think you are!? Stepping foot in the kitchen before I do; how dare you!" Sanji shot a firm kick at Zoro's head, smirking when he connected.

Zoro took a fall on his face, catching himself on his hands with a grunt. "Fuck, shit cook, you don't have to kick me so damn hard..." He rolled onto his back and rubbed his head. "I just want something to eat."

"I barely even tapped you. Don't tell me you got weaker over these past 2 years." Sanji sighed dramatically, "What a shame." He turned to head up to the kitchen. "The others won't be back for a while. I'll whip you up something real quick."

"We need to have a talk over what a tap is," Zoro harrumphed and shook his head, following Sanji into the kitchen. "What're you making me?"

"When did you become such a pansy?" Sanji frowned as he rolled up his sleeves. "Just sit your ass down. You'll have to wait and see."

"Why the hell can't I know?" Zoro snorted and plopped down at the table, leaning against it with his elbows on the top, leaning back as he watched Sanji start to pull out ingredients. Whatever. He frowned, patting his stomach again. That didn't feel too good. He poked the taut skin with a deeper frown.

Sanji turned back and smiled cockily. "I learned a few new tricks. I wanna keep it a surprise." Sanji sliced and seasoned and chopped and seared with fluidity that only came with years of honing his skills. He assembled the plate with minimal embellishment, the way Zoro preferred it, and the way he always served the men. He brought it over and placed the plate before the marimo. "Marimo feed."

Zoro's eye hardly twitched and started eating in his usual fashion, not very dignified, but not very fast either, just spearing it on his fork and then forking it into his mouth. He cleaned his plate soon enough and cracked his back, laying down on the table chairs, enjoying being able to lay back in relative comfort, not that he cared most of the time. "Thanks for the food, shit cook."

"It's a way of cooking that can incite one's moods, stimulating the body in different ways depending on how you make it." Sanji walked over to the door and locked it. "It can invigorate a tired body," he switched off the light, "it can heal sickness," he walked over to Zoro, pulling at his tie, "what do you feel, Zoro?" He placed his hand on the table on either side of Zoro, trapping him as he stared down at the shadowed figure.

"Pretty damn tired and feeling weird." Zoro shrugged, looking up at the cook, folding his arms behind his head. He knew what Sanji wanted. It had been a while, not that he really cared much. "You want something, shit cook?" He only teased and prodded because he knew it got on Sanji's nerves.

Sanji leaned in close to his face. "Don't play games. It's been two. whole. _years_ since I got laid. I have no patience for your fucking around." He brought a hand up to Zoro's chest. "That sauce...should be affecting you right about now."

"Stop fucking drugging me, you shitty cook," Zoro sighed, closing his eyes. It wasn't hitting him now, but it probably would soon. "Even if it has been two whole damn years you probably would have danced around the girls a while before finally using me as a last resort.” He reached down to pull his haramaki up, then push his hakama down, now starting to feel a warmth spreading up from his abdomen.

"I didn't _drug_ you, but I wouldn't expect you to understand." He brought his hand down from Zoro's chest to his ass, ignoring the dig about the girls. "Turn around." He demanded as he worked on his belt.

Making a face, Zoro just sighed and pushed himself up on his hands then flipped over onto his hands and knees. "This impersonal enough for you?"

"Since when have you cared? This is how it's always been." Sanji moved the irritating...dress...thing out of the way with a bit of difficulty. He'd have to give Zoro a thorough lesson on practical fashion styles for sex. Sanji didn't bother with making sure Zoro was stretched. The stupid shithead was a masochist; he'd probably enjoy it on some level. He pressed inside, but Zoro wouldn't let him in all the way, too tight from not being used for so long.

Zoro hissed, head hanging down, chin brushing his chest. His insides clamped down, too used to not having any foreign objects inside for so long. "Damn, shit cook, could have used some oil, it's not a cunt you know." He groaned, resting his head against the smooth wood of the table they rested on.

"Trust me, I know it isn't. Hm...I spat on it...Shit, didn't think you'd be that tight." Sanji pulled out and went to grab some canola oil; it was cheaper than the olive oil. "Let's try that again..." He pressed inside, still having to push, but it went in more easily this time. "There we go..."

Zoro grunted again as Sanji was able to seat himself in entirely now. "Damn, still tight..." It had been quite a long time after all. While two years without sex wasn't much of a big deal to Zoro, he had gone quite a long time without it before he'd even met Sanji after all, but he knew Sanji was needy a lot of the time.

"Ngh, shut up." Sanji looked down at the black shadow of a figure. Yeah, this was nice; he'd missed this. Zoro's hole was tight and felt good as he thrust into it. He really enjoyed sex with Zoro, as long as the idiot didn't say anything and the lights were out.

Zoro moaned and buried his face in his arms, body beginning to rock back on Sanji's thrusts. It was still too early and without proper preparation, but he could feel pleasure warming up his loins, his shaft twitching and slowly coming to full erection under the stimulation to his ass. He'd always been sensitive, and he didn't mind actually taking it. The way his inner walls were rubbed whenever Sanji moved in and out felt perfect and oh so sensual.

Sanji gripped Zoro's clothes for leverage as he picked up his pace. He threw his head back and groaned as his hips snapped. His eyes traveled down and he watched as Zoro's body rock under the force of his thrusts. Then, that smell tickled his nose again. Sanji furrowed his brow as he leaned forward over Zoro's body, not touching it, his nose an inch from Zoro's back as he took a sniff. _'The hell...?'_

Shuddering as that one spot Sanji hardly ever bothered to hit was pounded against, Zoro reached back blindly, slapping about for a moment before finding Sanji's hip and yanking it at just the _perfect_ angle where that spot was hit every single thrust and he could tremble and moan out deeply in his yearning pleasure.

Sanji slapped Zoro's hand away. He knew what Zoro wanted, and he'd give it to him when he felt like it. At that moment he was far too preoccupied with that weird smell that Zoro was emitting. It smelled...really, enticingly good. He kept thrusting, listening to Zoro's whimpers as he moved. He noticed a bead of sweat forming between Zoro's shoulder blades. Before he could give it a thought, his tongue darted out and he licked it off.

Zoro's muscles jerked slightly at the feeling of Sanji's slick tongue moving over his tan skin. He shuddered and moaned, back arching up into the cook. He stifled as many of the embarrassingly submissive noises as he could, instead focusing on trying to angle his hips for that exact spot once more, grasping his cock and starting to pump, rough and fast.

Sanji didn’t understand why his dick wasn’t going soft at the sound of Zoro’s voice like it usually would have. Usually, the swordsman was almost dead silent, leaving Sanji with his imagination. This time, the grunts and groans and the heated moaning and whimpering were only driving his desires, and it freaked him out. He blamed it on that damned smell. The blonde leaned forward, pressing his nose against the bronzy skin, inhaling deeply.

"Hng..." Even if the cook hated him talking during these moments (he refused to call it anything even close to sex) he couldn't help but want desperately to call out for Sanji to move faster and harder, mostly out of utter impatience. He was so close.

Despite all of Zoro's lewd noises, Sanji couldn't get his mind off the enticing scent. It was what made his hips move faster, his cock pound harder. He sucked gently on Zoro's shoulder blade. His body stiffened as he came inside of Zoro, something he rarely did. He shuddered as his hips came to a grinding half, his teeth clamping down on Zoro's shoulder.

Groaning Zoro kept rocking his hips back on Sanji's motionless body. He was nearly there. While he was slightly disgusted with the prospect of cum being shot so far inside him it would be annoying to wash it out, he kept stroking himself, creating a little mess on the table with a sigh and rolled his shoulder back, trying to dislodge Sanji's teeth.

Sanji didn't move until he came down from the sexual high. It'd been so long since he'd felt good that he didn't want it to end. He opened his eye when he felt Zoro's shoulder move beneath him. He contained his panic as he hastily withdrew and placed himself back in his pants and hurried to the door, flipping on the light and leaving the kitchen.

Sighing and groaning in disappointment as the warmth of the afterglow was abandoned so soon. Of course, Zoro wasn't going to cry over it. He shakily made it to his feet, bones feeling like jelly and did up his hakama and haramaki before exiting the kitchen, but not before running a wet paper towel over that little mess he'd made on the table and then went out to lay out on the lawn of the Sunny.

"Yo, Zoro!" Usopp greeted from where he was standing over an unconscious Sanji. "Glad to see you didn't get lost~!" He teased. He, Nami, and Chopper had just arrived, and Sanji had promptly passed out soon after. "This guys gonna be a hassle. He passed out the second he laid eyes on Nami."

"Yeah, he's going to be a hand full alright," Zoro muttered, rubbing the back of his neck and leaning against the main mast, sliding down on his behind and sighing. He rubbed his stomach, still frowning. Something didn't feel right.

"Hey, you alright?" Usopp walked over and crouched down next to the swordsman. "You're making a weird face. Even weirder than usual." He poked Zoro's cheek inquisitively.

"Mm. Feeling weird, 's all. It's nothing." Zoro shrugged and tilted his head away from Usopp's hand. "I haven't died yet, so it can't be bad." He then folded his arms behind his head and closed his eyes.

"Maybe Chopper could get a look at you. It's been a while since he had to put you back together." He laughed, avoiding Zoro's annoyed swatting before running off to greet another arriving crewmember.


	2. Screwed

Everyone was standing alongside the rails of the ship, desperately searching the dark waters. The Sunny's searchlights were lighting up the water as much as they could as the crew searched for their monster trio.

"Those idiots!" Nami frowned, biting her lip as she scanned the waters. "If only they'd held onto the rope like I told them! Seriously! We've been together for all of a couple hours and already they're causing trouble!"

Zoro was gladly safe inside his bubble. With a sigh, he looked around with a frown. He peered outside his bubble and began searching for his captain and the cook. He was mostly worried about Luffy and his deadweight hammer issues... He sighed and awkwardly got onto his knees, only ending up on his stomach in the bubble. It was hard to maneuver.

Sanji, however, was not nearly as lucky. He was floating around in the dark water with his hands clamped over his mouth. He was running low on air, and the pressure of the water was so intense he was afraid his ears might explode. He looked around, trying to find the ship. Maybe one of the others had been lucky and their bubbles hadn't popped.

Zoro looked around a little and saw Sanji struggling. He pounded, softly, on his bubble to get Sanji's attention and tried to move it towards him. "Shit cook," he called out, motioning over for him to come to the bubble.

Sanji turned his head and saw Zoro sitting in his bubble. He would've sighed with relief if he had the air to do so. Using his moonwalk, he quickly got to Zoro's bubble, floating in through the membrane before plopping down across Zoro's lap. "Phew...saved."

Zoro 'oof'd and smirked. "Yeah, take a breath of fresh air." Though they would have to make sure to breathe shallowly, lest they run out of air.

Sanji adjusted himself so he was sitting beside Zoro, taking a minute to catch his breath. "Thought I was a goner for a second there..."

"Guess I was just lucky. Did you see Luffy?" Zoro started looking out of the bubble again, getting on his knees awkwardly. "Did his bubble pop or is he sinking as usual?"

“I haven't seen him." Sanji's eyes traveled to Zoro's body, and he thought of their first time together since the reunion. He felt his heart beat a little more quickly, and in such a small space, that smell was even more apparent than usual. Sanji got up on his knees behind Zoro and placed his nose in the crook of the Marimo's neck, taking in his scent. "Hmm..."

Zoro jumped slightly, trying not to move too harshly lest the bubble become too strained. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing." Sanji was practically nuzzling Zoro's neck, his mouth pressing into his shoulder, muffling his words. "Keep an eye out for Luffy."

"We shouldn't..." Zoro groaned, closing his eyes and then snapping them open again, looking around hazily to try and find Luffy. Damn kid probably sunk. "We need to go lower..."

"We're not." Sanji ground against Zoro's ass as he continued nuzzling his neck. "And we are sinking. I'm sure he's around here somewhere."

Gasping softly, Zoro covered his mouth quickly and kept looking. "Can't concentrate..."

"Nnn..." Sanji reached around and palmed Zoro's groin, feeling it swell beneath his hand. He'd never done this before; never even thought about touching Zoro as he was now. But that damned scent was interfering with his brain, making him act as he normally wouldn't dream to.

Shocked, Zoro smacked at Sanji's hand. Sanji never touched him. He stuck his cock inside him; that was it. "Sanji..." he breathed, wiggling a bit and shuddering. He wasn't sure if he could handle this...

The smack to his hand and hearing Zoro call his name so breathlessly brought Sanji back to reality. What in the hell was he doing? It was that stupid odor the repugnant Marimo gave off that was messing with his head. He sat back and turned around, facing the other way. He looked up and saw their captain slowly sinking, hands clamped over his mouth desperately. "Shit! There he is!" Sanji moonwalked out of the bubble and quickly went to get their captain.

Zoro moved the bubble towards them and reached a hand out of the bubble to grab onto Sanji and pull him back in carefully along with Luffy. Now they needed to get to the ship. "Damn."

Sanji cast a quick glance at Zoro before turning back to his captain. "Oi, Luffy, you okay?"

Luffy groaned and shook his head, though more in the action of trying to get the water out of his hair. He grinned and nodded vigorously. "Yeah! I'm fine, I thought I was a goner! Thanks, Sanji, you're awesome!"

"Yeah, no problem. Let's get back to the ship." Sanji stuck out his legs, the bubble stretching to keep them coated as he kicked out, propelling them along with the current.

"There it is!" Luffy laughed after a while and grinned, pointing out towards the Sunny. "Hey, why does it smell like sweat in here?"

Zoro looked away awkwardly. Had they really been trying to go at it that long?

"It's probably this moldy marimo you're smelling." Sanji remarked coolly as he stared out of the bubble, trying to see Nami and Robin on the far away ship.

"You're the one with busy hands, shit cook," Zoro snorted. "Probably thought I had tits in this darkness."

Sanji swiveled his head and glared at Zoro. How dare he bring that up around the others? He grit his teeth, "Even if that stupid okama had gender bent you, I wouldn't go near you with a 50 foot pole; even if you did have boobs. Quit dreaming, shitty marimo bastard."

"You're the one dreaming." Zoro rolled his eyes and sighed, awkwardly leaning back. Luffy just laughed and pushed past Zoro, pointing to the Sunny some more. "Come on, Sanji, faster, faster!"

"Alright." Sanji gave a few more powerful kicks and they were within the Sunny's sight. They could see everyone on deck pointing up at them. More specifically, Sanji could see Nami and Robin looking up at him. "MELLORINE~" He cried, blood spurting from his nose and splattering along the wall of the bubble.

"Ah shit!" Zoro yanked Sanji back and they came into the Sunny's bubble and dropped in with a grunt. Sanji was a goner, he was going to die of blood loss.

"Ahh~ Mellorine~" Sanji mumbled, a bit more blood leaking out from his nose. He hadn't even noticed that he was back on the ship, his brain still in "Mellorine Mode."

"Shit, ero cook, you're going to end up dead from the lack of blood instead of the sea." Zoro sighed and turned away, looking to Luffy who had run off to Usopp, Franky and Chopper.

"Glad to see you all in one piece!" Franky greeted, waving one of his giant hands.

"It's amazing what you guys survive through." Nami marveled, her and Robin putting on their coats. "You really worried us, you know?" She scolded.

"We're fine! See I was floating around and then I saw Zoro and Sanji in a bubble and then Sanji came and got me then we were all crammed in there it smelled weird and then we're here!" Luffy shouted in excitement, almost bounding with energy.

"The shit cook found my bubble and after we found Luffy we found the ship." Zoro shrugged.

"Well as long as you're all safe." Franky clapped them all on the back, making his much smaller Nakama stumble a bit with the force of it. "Well, I suppose we should do something about him." Franky gestured to the bloody mess on the lawn that was Sanji.

"I say we leave him."

"Aww, Zoro, you can't say that about your Nakama! Let's just get him to bed!" Luffy laughed, jumping over and nudging Sanji with his foot. "Then he can make us food!"

Chopper!" Nami called stepping away from Sanji's unmoving body. "Looks like you've got your first patient!"

Chopper hopped over to Sanji and brandished a tissue, then with expert doctor's skill, he ripped it in half, twisted it and stuffed them up Sanji's nose. "Isshaa! Fixed!"

Sanji opened his eyes and was greeted with the lovely sight of Nami leaning over him with love and concern in her eyes. "Nami—" A geyser of blood shot forward, and Sanji was out cold in seconds.

Nami sighed, a tick forming on her forehead. "I think it's gonna take a bit more than a tissue this time...Chopper..."

The others were gathering around their downed cook. "This guy..." Usopp sighed.

"Maybe the girls should start covering everything," Zoro snorted. He rolled his eyes. "I'm going to take a nap."

Chopper started freaking and checked Sanji's pulse. "Issha! He needs a doctor!"

"We're wearing coats! How much more covered up can we get!" Nami shouted after the retreating swordsman.

"That's you!" Usopp knocked Chopper on the head gently.

"I'll take Cook-bro to the infirmary." Franky hefted Sanji up into his arms and carried him off, Chopper following after him.

Zoro rolled his eyes and lay down on the lawn. What a stressful time. He really hoped that they could just... Take a break. Even if they'd already been away for so long. He just needed a small break. He groaned, stomach twinging just slightly. He felt a little dizzy and held his head.

"Hey, Zoro, are you alright?" Nami walked over to the swordsman. He never got sick. Ever. Bloody and bruised and nearly dead? Quite often. But sick was one thing Zoro didn't do. "You don't look so good. Kinda pale. Think you have a fever?" She pressed a cold hand to Zoro's warm forehead.

Zoro pulled away almost childishly. "I'm fine. Don't think I've eaten in a bit. That's just it." Sure, it was hunger pains. Besides, he didn't need a money grubbing witch fawning over him.

"Well, if you're sure." She stood up. "If you feel worse, go see Chopper." She warned before heading up to the helm, wanting to make sure they were still properly on course.

Zoro snorted. He didn't get sick. He was just woozy from dehydration maybe. He needed a drink, something to eat. Maybe soon Sanji would stop bleeding over everything enough to make some food. He’d have to wait and see...

**o()o()o**

Zoro woke up from a short nap and got to his feet, stretching, though he still felt a little dizzy. He wrote it off as lightheadedness and went to the kitchen. "Hey, shit cook, you done leaving a trail of blood everywhere?"

Sanji was standing over the stove, testing the homemade stock he was planning on using for soup that night. "Out. There are no spare scraps for a begging stray."

"Come on, shit cook, I haven't eaten all day." Zoro walked right past the cook and started poking around in the pantry. He was still feeling dizzy.

"What, you've already forgotten that dish I made especially for you this morning? Really now, I know you've taken more hits to the head than your tiny brain should endure, but please try and remember when someone's nice to you." Sanji turned back to the pot. "Dinner'll be ready in an hour. Wait till then."

"Can't wait." Zoro was about to reach up and grab some food, before spots covered his vision and the next thing he knew he was on his back, blinking up at the ceiling with the worst headache he'd ever had. He'd probably hit his head.

"Holy shit! Why didn't you say you were about to pass out, dumbass!" Sanji whipped together some revitalizing food and placed it on the floor next to Zoro. "Ahh...this brings back memories." Old memories from long ago, when he'd saved Gin, resurfaced as he fed the marimo his shrimp fried rice.

Zoro coughed and spit out the food. "That's disgusting." Normally whatever Sanji made always satisfied him, it was just perfect. ...But this, this was so...he didn't like it. What the hell was wrong with him?

Sanji was absolutely livid with the reaction his food received. His face was half covered with shadows as his aura exploded with murderous intent. The hell he'd endured to acquire the skills he'd used to make this bastard’s food. "Then I'll give it to someone who appreciates my cooking." He picked up the plate and turned to head out of the kitchen to find one of the ladies. This bastard didn't deserve his specially prepared food.

"Ugh, no, no...just...Take the shrimp out." That must have been it, he just didn't feel like shrimp. He wobbled to his feet, still feeling dizzy. "Can I have water?" He needed to lean against the table.

"...Yeah, sure..." Sanji furrowed his brow as he meticulously ate the shrimp out of his food. It was delicious; what was Zoro talking about? He poured a glass of water and sat in front of Zoro, still picking shrimp out of the food.

Zoro gulped the water down and rubbed his temple, then forked some food into his mouth. It tasted fine; he could stomach it. "Thanks. It's delicious."

Sanji blinked. Twice. "Did you just say my food's delicious?"

"No. Shut up."

"You totally did! What the hell! You never say anything about my food." Sanji's mouth spread into a shit-eating grin. "You're acting really unlike yourself." He exhaled a waft of smoke. "Let's keep it that way, shall we?"

"Shut up," Zoro groaned, finishing the food. He felt a lot better. A lot better.

"Ahh, so did it work?" Sanji smiled around his cigarette, already knowing the answer, but wanting to hear it for himself.

"I feel better. Thanks." Hopefully that would be the end of it. He didn't like feeling weak. "Think I need to work out..."

"Hnn~" Sanji's grin just kept spreading. He stood up without another word and put the dishes away. When he turned around, he noticed that smell again. His body was beginning to associate that smell with sex, and reacted accordingly. His pants tented, and he had to face away to keep Zoro from seeing.

Zoro went out and started to work out, using his usual several ton weights. Nothing bothered him; he didn't feel dizzy or sick again for the rest of the day.

Sanji was having an issue keeping himself together that evening. The smell wouldn't go away, and he had to sit with his legs crossed all through dinner. He demanded that Zoro stay behind to help with the dishes, though they'd probably be doing something else instead.

Zoro just shrugged when Sanji ordered him to stay after. After dinner he immediately sunk his hands into the soapy water and got to work.

Sanji went over to the door and locked it, flipping the lights off. He quickly walked over and trapped Zoro between his arms. "I don't get it."

A disgruntled snort left the other. "Don't get what?" So soon again? Sanji was never this needy... Maybe sometimes he needed a little more intensive and intimate coupling, but never...so much.

"Your stupid scent. I feel like I'm constantly breathing in an aphrodisiac. It's starting to piss me off." He pressed his body up against Zoro's, burying his nose in Zoro's green hair and inhaling, a shiver running through his body at the scent.

"'N stop smellin' me," Zoro grunted, leaned back against the cook. "Not that hard." He thought for a moment. "...What do I smell like?"

"You emit the smell like some god forsaken flower." He placed his nose at the junction between Zoro's neck and his shoulder, inhaling again. "I don't know what it is. It's...it just smells so good...there's not a spice in this world I can use to describe it." He licked Zoro's neck as if trying to taste it. "It fucks with my brain. I can't think straight at all..."

"Mm." Zoro tilted his head to give Sanji better access. "Not sure if I feel up to a fuck." He shrugged and turned around, placing a hand on Sanji's chest and squinting to try and see him properly. It was too dark. "You too scared of commitment you can't even turn the damn lights on?"

"What commitment? We're not in a relationship, dumbass." He leaned in, his breath ghosting over Zoro's lips. "Remember what we said when this started? 'A casual fuck: no kissing, no lights, no telling.'"

"Sometimes I can't even see how far the table is and I end up hitting it with my face."

"That's not my problem. You're the one that can fight with his eyes closed." Sanji turned Zoro around again and ground against him. "Now if you'd just shut up. I've been dying since you passed out on my floor. I just want this over and done with so I can clean up and go to bed."

"I'm not gonna have sex with you if you don't even want it," Zoro snapped, giving Sanji a shove and brushing past. "Jack off over your sink for all I care."

Sanji reached back and threw Zoro against the counter, staring into his face, despite not really being able see him. "I wouldn't be here right now if I didn't want it." He ground against Zoro, digging his strong hands into Zoro's hips. "And I wouldn't dream of defiling my sink in such a manner. I wash produce in there among other things."

"Hng..." Zoro squeezed his eyes shut. "Shut the fuck up...stupid...shit cook," he groaned, shuddering and tilting his head back. Arousal flushed in his loins, licking his lips and shaking his head. "Dammit..."

"Hn, and you were about to walk out on this." Sanji pulled Zoro's pants down and lifted him up onto the counter. "Is this personal enough for you?" He ground out, mocking Zoro's earlier complaint. He undid his pants and pulled out his painfully hard member, grabbing the oil and wincing when the cold oil dribbled over his cock. "Shit..."

“Shut up, asshole," Zoro groaned, head tilting back. "I'm serious... Shit cook..." Despite his words he moaned and shuddered, grinding back and pulling his haramaki up, flaccid cock twitching.

Sanji pressed inside, having to be patient when Zoro's body resisted. He leaned in and buried his nose in Zoro's neck, greedily drinking in that delicious scent. He snapped his hips forward, burying himself as he let it take over his mind.

"Shit!" Zoro cursed, slapping a hand over his mouth and gripping Sanji's shoulder with the other. "Sunnuvabitch," he muttered breathlessly, shuddering and arching his back. "Shithead..."

Sanji smirked, lips tickling across Zoro's skin. His tongue darted out and ran up his neck, tasting the skin, the sweat, and only feeling his arousal go up.

Zoro groaned, back arching. "Shit, stop it," he demanded, trembling and gripping Sanji's shoulder, tilting his head back and shaking his head. "Fucking pervert."

"You're enjoying it so shut up." Sanji's voice was strained as he pounded into Zoro, the cabinets behind them rattling with every movement. He bit down on Zoro's shoulder as a hand went to Zoro's member, gently palming it.

Gasping, Zoro shivered and went nearly limp. That surprised him. Sanji never touched him. Well...not there anyway. "What are you doing?" he hissed, gripping Sanji by his stupid tie and yanking him down. He enjoyed it, but damn was he starting to get worried. "What's wrong with you lately?"

"It's your fucking fault." Sanji grumbled before latching his mouth to Zoro's collarbone. His thrusts slowed, teasing him, not quite hitting that spot, just to hear Zoro beg for him to do it.

"Hng..." Zoro raised his hips, physically begging for Sanji to strike that spot. No way in hell was he going to actually beg. He had some standards here.

Sanji ignored him, wholly absorbed in that smell as he licked and sucked across Zoro's chest. He ran the tip of his scarred thumb over Zoro's slit, smirking at the sounds he was eliciting.

Zoro squirmed and writhed beneath the cook for a while before finally giving in. "Fucking fine, shit cook, make me cum," he demanded in a hissed voice.

"Hm, not as sexy as I'd hoped, but you'll get better." Sanji pulled away and grabbed onto Zoro's thighs, pulling him forward a bit. He picked up his pace, aiming for Zoro's prostate. "Shit...good..."

As soon as his prostate was hit, Zoro was over the edge, then out for the count, totally dead to the world. Even with Sanji still moving. He'd never done that before. It was frightening. Not because the orgasm had been so intense...just because it was incredibly tiring.

“Che. No stamina.” Sanji continued thrusting until he came inside Zoro with a low grumble. He sighed irritatedly as he pulled out. Blue eyes stared at Zoro’s limp body draped across his counter. He winced at the love bites...no, bite marks; there was no love there. Either way, they were going to bruise.

Zoro's eyes tensed together before he opened them hazily. "Hng... You better...put me to bed," he muttered, still slightly out of it. He needed to sleep.

“You can put yourself to bed. I still have dinner to make.” Sanji put all of Zoro’s clothes back in place and pulled him down off the counter. “I need to sanitize my workspace. Go sleep at the table if you’re so inclined.

Zoro grunted and just went to lie down on the benches, curling up on his side. His stomach was cramping again...

Sanji cleaned up the counter, twice, making sure nothing remained. He hurried to the light and flipped it on, unlocking the door as well. He didn't want the crew to come across a dark, locked room, lest they draw their own conclusions.

Zoro woke up after a moment, actually fully awake for once, and sat up, groaning. "Damn, shit cook, couldn't have pulled out?" The feeling of half dried cum sliding out of his hole and staining his hakama was too disgusting.

“Pulled...out? ...What?” Usopp asked. All of the other 8 nakama were sitting round the table when Zoro had spoken, all waiting for their dinner. They had all come in only minutes after Zoro had fallen asleep and Sanji had cleaned up.

"Maybe Sanji kicked Zoro soooo hard that his leg almost went through him!" Luffy laughed, saving Zoro from having to think of an excuse. "Zoro's awake, awesome! Zoro, I ate your food! It was good!"

No one really agreed with Luffy's logic, but they were also mostly sure that Zoro's wording had just been...unfortunate. They looked over at Sanji who seemed maybe just a bit perturbed.

"Choose your words better next time, baka Marimo, or you'll give people the wrong idea."

Zoro snorted and just sat up, looking down at his empty plate. He sighed and got up, getting a drink of water, then informed everyone he would be out on the deck.

As soon as Zoro was gone, Luffy turned to Sanji. "Zoro's been sleeping a lot, is he eating too much? I know when I eat too much-" Which generally never happened- "I get really sleepy!"

"I really do think something's up." Nami piped, "He looked kinda out of it. Maybe, Chopper, you should look him over."

"Yeah, he came in here earlier asking for food." Sanji added, not seeing any harm in bringing it up if Zoro really was sick. He certainly didn't want to catch it. "He passed out right on the floor."

"Really?" Chopper looked worried now. "That really doesn't sound like him, I'll do a check up after dinner!" If Zoro were sick, it would definitely be bad. Because Zoro didn't get sick- not seriously sick anyway.

"He just looked tired to me!" Luffy spoke up, mouth full of food.

"You also thought pouring water on Nami-san when she got seriously ill was the right thing to do." Sanji brought up as he took his last bite of dinner.

"But that was different! Zoro is stronger than that!"

Robin chuckled, twirling her spoon in the soup. "Personally I think it would be best for Swordsman-san to get a check-up, lest this turns into something worse—if it is something."

“OW~ I agree with Nico-babe~” Franky cried, posing as he took his empty dishes over to the sink. “Zoro-bro may be strong, but that doesn’t mean he can’t get sick. And if it’s bad enough for the sword-bro to get infected, there’s a chance we could all get infected.”

"Well, I think that if Zoro is sick and if it's an infection...um, then we would all probably be more violently sick," Chopper put in, trying not to alarm everyone. "Zoro's a lot stronger than most of us... And I think if it were an infection, some of us would be more sick than others."

"Well then it's settled." Nami asserted. "Zoro's getting a check up. Thank you for dinner, Sanji-kun. Even more delicious than I remember." She complimented sweetly. Sanji was out for the rest of the evening, a set of blood transfusion bags his only company that evening.

"Nami, do you think Zoro is sick?" Chopper asked as he put up his dish on the counter, looking up to the navigator. "Because if he is I'll be really worried!"

"Well we won't know unless you check him, Mr. Doctor." She smiled at the little reindeer. "Let’s get him into your infirmary, kay?" Her friendly smiled turned into a more mischievous one as she sauntered out of the galley.

Zoro was out on the lawn on his stomach, snoring away when Chopper and Nami came out to shake him away. He snorted and opened his eyes. "Hey," he muttered, yawning and rubbing the back of his neck. "Need something?"

"Sanji told us what happened when you came in earlier!" The reindeer blurted, "I want to do a checkup just to make sure you're doing alright, okay?"

"Zoro, we need you in the infirmary." Nami demanded, crouching down so she was face to face with the swordsman. "Now, be a good little swordsman and go with Chopper~" She smiled, but behind that smile hid her own personal motives.

Zoro scowled at her but nodded and got to his feet. "Alright, kid, let's go." He let Chopper lead him to the infirmary, he even lay down on the bed willingly and let Chopper do his lengthy check up. "I'm not sick." He assured the reindeer, but their doctor would have none of it.

“Aww, I’m a bit disappointed you went so willingly.” Nami pouted as she sat backwards on the spare chair. “I was hoping I could get a chance to blackmail you...”

"You will burn in eternal hellfire witch!" Zoro spat, an incredulous look on his face. "Even if I am sick that's useless blackmail material!"

"Issha! Zoro sit still! Owhooo!" Chopper quickly switched to heavy form to scare Zoro into submission, who obediently stayed motionless as Chopper returned to normal. Chopper took a small amount of blood and put it through one of his nifty items to check something. "Hmm..." That looked like an abnormal amount of pheromones...Those specific kind only found among pregnant women. But that was silly! "You're okay!" Chopper exclaimed delightfully, smiling to Zoro. "You should drink more water! You look a little dehydrated from the chart. But you're perfectly fine!"

"You know you'll be right there with me~" Nami smiled. God, how she loved to tease this man. "And I wasn't going to use your sickness as blackmail, sheesh!" She shrugged, shaking her head at his hopelessness. "You could never understand the fine art of blackmail."

"I won't ever understand women," Zoro muttered, sitting up and getting to his feet. "I'm fine, so I'm going to go back to my nap." With that he brushed past Nami and went to resume his place out on the lawn.

"Hey, Chopper, are you sure he's okay? Was there nothing unusual with him?" Nami was sure Chopper wasn't telling the whole story. She knew it couldn't be a big deal if Chopper didn't feel the need to tell Zoro, but her women's intuition was telling her something else.

"Oh, uh, well, he did have an increase in a hormone usually only women have! But I don't think it's a big deal. It can't harm him or anything," Chopper replied, putting supplies away as he shrugged. "I mean, you wouldn't be worried over that, would you?"

Nami frowned. "No, not worried. But it is weird, and I can't help but wonder why."

"It's not going to hurt him." Chopper shrugged. "I'm not worried! It doesn't really affect his mood or anything or even his strength. But the funny thing is...is that the type of pheromone present only appears in pregnant women."

Nami stared wide-eyed for a moment before she burst into giggles, "Could you imagine Zoro with a pregnant belly? Oh, he would make such a terrible mom!" She laughed at the thought. How ridiculously funny!

"Well, he's very protective." Chopper shrugged. "I don't think it would ever be possible unless it were because of a devil fruit." Though the image was slightly comical.

Nami took a minute to come down from her little giggle fit. "Come on, let’s get back to the others."

Nodding, Chopper stuck close to her and waddled out of the infirmary, though he was started to mull over the anomaly of the hormone in Zoro...


	3. Contrasts

After continuing on to the new world, and landing right in the middle of the G-5 base, they all got separated within Smoker's domain. Everyone was scurrying about, trying to find one another.

Zoro was wandering around in he base, unsure of how the hell to get out. He peeked out around a corner and raised his eyebrows when he saw Saga and...that one girl who always wanted to fight with him. He wondered if he could talk to Saga to get out.

“I appreciate your taking the time to spar with me." Saga bowed politely, and headed towards the door, hot, tired, and sweaty from such an invigorating duel.

As Saga was going past, Zoro grabbed his shoulder and spun him around to his small niche of hiding. "Oi, didn't expect to see you here."

"Zoro!" Saga gave Zoro a huge hug, making sure to keep his voice down. "It's so good to see you again! Come on, I'll sneak you back to my room, and you can tell me what the hell a pirate like you is doing here!"

Zoro followed Saga closely, hand on the hilt of his swords just in case some marines showed up. When they got to Saga's room he leaned against a wall. "My crew is here and we got separated..." Though they were probably at least somewhat close to getting out by now. Hopefully none of them had seen him go with Saga...

"I'm sure you'll find them." Saga took a sniff and quirked his eyebrows, but said nothing. "You know," he stepped a bit closer, "I could help you get out of here."

Zoro kept the indifferent look on his face but was definitely relieved. "I would like that," he replied shrugging, then moved to take the belt with his swords off. "Do you mind of I just have a short rest?"

"Not at all." Saga put a hand on Zoro's waist as he helped him with his swords. He locked eyes with Zoro before pulling him into a hug. "I'm really glad to see you."

Zoro gave Saga an assuring pat on the back. "You too, it's been a while." Hopefully this time wouldn't end like the last though. "I hope I'm not intruding, but I feel more tired than I should." He didn't understand what was up about his lack of energy. Or rather, he had it, just not as much as he probably should. To Zoro this was just a sign that he needed to be working out more.

“You could never intrude. We're childhood friends, remember?" Saga's hands slid down and began to gently massage Zoro's lower back and hips.

Zoro groaned softly and leaned back into Saga's dexterous hands. "Means a lot..." he murmured under his breath, eyes slipping shut. He moaned softly and got the brief impression maybe he shouldn't start anything with Saga on account of Sanji, but then discarded the thought. Sanji didn't give two shits who Zoro slept with. Probably because Zoro didn't care enough to go out and sleep with anyone else.

"Any time..." Saga whispered against Zoro's neck before kissing it gently, leaving a trail down to his shoulder as he slowly pulled Zoro's clothes away, easily exposing him.

Zoro shuddered as the air cooled his hot body. "Probably shouldn't take too long..." He reached back, hand sliding over Saga's hip and then towards his inner thigh. This was him saving time more than an excuse not to do anything.

"I know, don't wanna get caught..." Saga murmured as he kissed back up to Zoro's face, pressing their lips together. His hands wandered around to Zoro's ass, lifting and squeezing it. So soft, yet so muscular and firm. Perfect.

Zoro kissed back gladly. "Never get any kisses from that stupid shit cook..." He didn't really care if Saga knew, Saga wasn't about to start joining the crew.

"What, you want him to?" Saga asked as one of his hands worked its way to the zipper on his pants. "Why won't he?" Saga didn't particularly care that Zoro saw other people between their little rendezvous, if anything, they were the 'something in between.' They both understood that this was nothing serious, but it was enjoyable all the same.

"He likes it impersonal," Zoro mumbled, "don't care, just think it’s nice once in a while. Won't turn the lights on, won't look and won't kiss me. Because he's not into men," the swordsman mocked, gripping Saga's shirt and yanking him in for a rougher kiss.

"Mm!" Saga moaned as his and Zoro's tongues danced together. He relished Zoro's familiar taste and that amazing smell. "You smell so good..." He grumbled as his hand slipped inside Zoro's pants.

Zoro grunted and moved back until the backs of his knees hit a bed and sat down in the edge. "He said that too. I have no idea what the fuck he meant... What does it smell like?" He was curious now since Saga had said it too...

"I dunno. But it smells really good." Saga ground his groin against Zoro's, "And it's really sexy...if that makes sense." He kissed down Zoro's neck and to his chest.

Zoro just grunted again and slid his hand into Saga's hair, pulling him closer. "Don't understand it... 'S made the shit cook all sorts of horny for me. Don't mind but it's getting annoying…" He moaned and leaned back on one hand, sighing and seeming very relaxed, in an aroused sort of way. It was different with Saga than it was with Sanji.

Saga chuckled a bit as he brought his lips back up to Zoro's. "Can't blame 'im. If I was trapped with this smell all day everyday you'd never leave my bed." He joked as he thrust against Zoro again.

"Probably wouldn't mind," Zoro mumbled, hand sliding into Saga's hair and kissing back, hips pushing forth to grind against him further. "At least you don't treat me like I'm replacement for a cunt..."

"I'm flattered." Saga crawled back down to Zoro's groin, mouth hovering over the bulge that was barely incased in Zoro's underwear. "I don't know how Sanji feels about it, but I definitely don't mind having a woman now and again."

Zoro shrugged and groaned, hips brushing up against Saga. "Doesn't matter to me," he moaned, tugging at Saga's hair out of impatience. "Don't care about what equipment they have as long as it works." Zoro had never had much a preference, nor did he really have a preference for sex, but since men usually wanted to be on top, he was left on bottom.

"Precisely." Saga tugged Zoro's pants and underpants down in one go, quickly engulfing Zoro's member and sucking on with desperate need, as if he was starved for it.

Zoro moaned and bucked his hips up, shuddering and tilting his head back in the pleasure. "Ahh... D-dammit, Saga," he groaned, shuddering and brushing Saga's hair away softly, tangling his hands into his hair.

Saga pulled away for a moment, pumping Zoro with his hands. "Hey, move your head down here..." Saga rolled onto his side and pulled his pants down, releasing his semi-hard cock.

Nodding, Zoro sat up and moved until he was beneath Saga's loins, leaning his head up and engulfing his cock, bobbing his head and sucking sweetly. Sanji never asked for oral sex, giving or receiving. Sanji always just went straight for the intercourse.

Saga groaned as he slowly rolled his hip, trying to keep still as Zoro sucked him. He pulled away and stuck his fingers in his mouth a moment before slipping them around to Zoro's ass, pressing inside.

"Hnng..." Zoro bucked his hips up sharply with a gasp. Saga prepared him at least. Sanji sometimes did, but not usually. He went back to bobbing his head and kept sucking, hands on Saga's thighs, gripping to keep him steady and from choking him.

Saga gagged a bit when the tip of Zoro's cock rammed into the back of his throat. "Careful..." He mumbled before adding another finger. "Tell me when you're ready."

“I'm fine go ahead," Zoro murmured as he pulled off and gasped, panting against Saga's slick shaft. He prodded it with the tip of his tongue. "I'm ready..."

"Nnnh, good. Here, I want you to straddle me." Saga sat up and looked down at Zoro. "That okay?" He ran a hand over Zoro's hip and ass, fingers dipping between his crease.

Zoro grunted and rolled them over, straddling Saga's hip and gripping his shaft, then grinding against him with his behind, Saga's sensitive flesh rubbing between his crease and then slowly sinking down on it with a low moan.

"Ohh yeah, fuck, Zoro." Saga gripped Zoro's hips with bruising force as his head flew back, his long purple hair sticking to his sweaty forehead. He thrust his hips upward, meeting Zoro half way as he buried himself deep inside his fellow swordsman.

Zoro pushed one hand against Saga's chest and one on his hip to get leverage and move properly, sinking all the way down, shuddering and leaning his head back. It was a real difference between Sanji and Saga, not really in size, just in shape and feel.

"Ahh yeah, Zoro." Saga leaned forward and wrapped his lips around one of Zoro's dark nipples, sucking it and running his tongue over the hardening bud.

Groaning, Zoro held Saga's head close to his chest. He winced slightly at just the slightest brush of Saga's teeth. Weird, that shouldn't hurt at all. "Hng..." For some reason it felt...unnaturally sensitive.

"Feel good?" He grazed his teeth over it again and felt Zoro shudder. "Hnn..." He brought up one, mischievous hand to tweak at Zoro's other hard nipple as the other went to Zoro's leaking cock. "Gotta hurry..." He moaned, feeling his balls tighten as an orgasm neared.

"Yeah," Zoro muttered, shuddering and bucking his hips. "'S good, faster," he grunted, rocking his hips even harder over Saga's cock. He rubbed at his chest with his free hand, trying to replicate the pleasure he'd just felt, curious of how he'd never noticed before.

"Shit, Zoro..." Saga pushed Zoro back onto the bed and pounded into him as fast as he could, the bed shaking and gently thumping against the wall. "Almost..."

Clutching at the bed sheets, Zoro nodded and arched his back, "Hng, h-harder, nearly there," he gasped, shuddering and cock exploding all over his chest.

Saga came only a moment after Zoro, filling him with the warmth of his seed. "Ohh, yes..." He groaned, going limp and lowering himself down on top of his friend. "I needed that..."

Nodding, Zoro sighed and let himself fully relax, arms looping around Saga and basking in the post coital glow. "It was nice... Just need a couple minutes rest before I need help getting out."

"Yeah." Saga laid a couple of gentle kisses alongside Zoro's face. "I know the perfect way out. Maybe we'll find some of your friends too?"

"That'd be great." Zoro stretched and yawned. "Maybe we'll find them. Knowing them they're probably almost out of here by now."

"Don't tell me: you got lost again." Saga smirked as he pulled out and sat up. He pulled up and refastened his pants before standing up and putting his shoes back on.

Zoro shrugged and cracked his back. He sighed and got up to do up all his clothes. "You call it lost, I call it a detour." Zoro sighed and belted his swords to his waist once more. "Let's go, I'm ready."

"Alright, we're gonna go through the overhead vents." Saga pointed to the grate above his bed. "They connect all over the building."

Nodding Zoro leaned against the wall, looking up. "How are we getting in?" He was ready to climb but he hoped Saga would at least help him up.

"And you call yourself a master swordsman." Saga smirked, taking his long katana and slicing the grate free. "You can hop up from here."

Nodding, Zoro stood beneath and jumped up in, scooching. "You coming?" Because lord knew Zoro wasn't going to be able to navigate it all alone.

"Yeah, sure." Saga hopped up into the vent with Zoro. "Come on, this way." He crawled forward on his hands and knees, heading for the junction that was just 5 feet ahead. What he didn't expect to see when rounding the corner were the two shocked faces of some of Zoro's Nakama. One young lady sporting a bloody nose and a rather confused looking young man. Saga really hoped they hadn't heard anything.

"So...you and Zoro..." Nami began awkwardly, wiping the blood from her nose.

So much for not overhearing.

Zoro peeked over Saga's shoulder and shrugged. "So?" He really didn't see it much of a big deal. Even if they knew he was into men- which he really didn't care- they were his Nakama. If they really loved him, they wouldn't care either.

"I just...wasn't expecting..." Nami composed herself. "Why did it take us this long to find out you're gay?"

"I'm not gay, I just don't care," Zoro replied with another shrug.

"I don't care either Zoro, you're still my Nakama!" Luffy cried out behind Nami with a supportive grin. "By the way do you guys know the way out me and Nami have been stuck in these crampy vents for like ever!"

“We have not! It's only been like 15 minutes." Nami huffed. Her navigational skills were unmatched, how dare he say they were lost.

"Ah, yeah sure. I was just leading Zoro out." Saga brought up. He crawled around the other two crew members. "This way."

Luffy cheered and followed Saga closely, grinning like a dope and coming uncomfortably close behind him- though mostly only because he was eager to get out. Zoro was just crawling along behind Nami, completely unperturbed by the thought that the two had been listening... Though he did wonder... "How much did you hear?" he asked softly, mostly wondering if they had heard the part about Sanji.

Nami flushed and glared back at Zoro. "Enough!" She spat, turning back around to glare at Luffy's ass that was wriggling before her. She prayed to god that he didn't fart.

"Alright," they came to a junction and Saga stopped, "we're gonna take that one straight on and you'll come out outside behind the base. Careful, there's a cliff not too far from it. And we'll have to be quiet the remainder of the day. The vice admiral's room is nearby and he could hear us."

Zoro shrugged. He supposed they hadn't heard what he'd said about Sanji. He thanked Saga. "Are you coming with us or are you leaving us now?" he asked, wondering if Saga would bother to come with for just a little while. Though...it was probably for the best that he didn't for now.

"Yay we're almost back to the Sunny!" Luffy cheered, completely disregarding the thing about being quiet.

“Luuffyyyy!” Nami clamped her hands over his mouth. “You have to be quiet!” She snapped in a harsh whisper.

Saga smiled and continued on down the vent. “I’ll see you to your ship. I heard you got a new one. I’d like to see it, if that’s alright.”

Luffy squealed in surprise and thrashed about, only to be subdued further. He pouted and went quietly, following close behind Saga.

"I'm sure it's fine with Luffy, that's all we need," Zoro murmured with a shrug. “But I think it’d be better if you didn’t come alone. You really shouldn’t be seen with us.”

"Aww." Saga pouted jokingly, "Alright. Well, once we reach the end of the vent I'll point you in the right direction."

Nodding, they all kept crawling until they finally got out to the end, landing outside. Zoro was glad to finally be out. He turned to Saga and quirked one corner of his mouth up. "Thanks, Saga, that was a lot of help. It'd be great to see you again soon."

"No problem. Anytime, Zoro." He pulled Zoro into a quick hug before letting him go with a pat on the shoulder. "Your ship is north-northeast from here." He pointed to the left. "Can't be more than a mile."

"Alright," Nami burned that into her memory, "let's go you guys." She turned and peeked around the corner before running off, Luffy right beside her.

"I'll see you later, Zoro." Saga pecked Zoro's cheek before turning and heading back inside.

Zoro nodded and clapped Saga on the back, giving a short wave before following after Nami and Luffy. He was glad they were there or he would get even further lost. "How long do you think it'll take us? Fifteen minutes?"

"Maybe if Nami can be as fast as us shishishishi!"

"Hey, I was a thief for 10 years, if anything I know how to run!" They reached the edge of a sheer cliff. Looking down, they could see the Sunny. Franky had already gotten back and was doing something near the docking system, and Chopper was giving Robin a ride as they neared the ship. "Luffy, can you help us down?"

"Yup!" Luffy grabbed Nami and then grabbed onto a tree. He jumped down, his arm stretching. When he got all the way down he set Nami on the ground, and went to repeat the process with Zoro.

Zoro was a little reluctant with this, knowing his captain, but let him and soon enough they were all running up to the ship.

"Yo!" Franky greeted, waving to the 3 approaching Nakama. "We're just waiting for Sanji and Brook! Once they arrive, we'll be ready to coup de burst on outta here!"

“Yay! I hope they get here soon because if they don't I might have to run back in there!" Luffy laughed, hopping up onto the lawn and rolling around happily. He'd missed the Sunny. In all that short time they'd been separated.

Zoro waved briefly to his Nakama and went to lean against the rails of the Sunny, looking up on top of the cliff, watching for Sanji.

Sanji and Brooke appeared a few minutes later, having to take the long way down. Sanji was ecstatic to return to his darling Nami-san and Robin-chan's sides.

When Nami finally managed to escape the over affectionate cook, she went over to Zoro and whispered in his ear, "Hey, hey, Zoro, can I tell Robin you're into men as well?" Normally, she didn't have an issue with gossiping, but she wasn't sure if he'd mind getting outed or not.

Zoro shrugged. "I really don't care." He really didn't. They could know he fucked a giant dog for all he cared and he wouldn't bat an eyelash.

Nami's face lit up though and she quickly went to discuss it with her only other female companion on board. "Hey, hey Robin guess what!"

Sanji's curiosity was piqued, and he listened in, even though it was hardly proper etiquette to eavesdrop on a lady's conversation.

"Did you know that Zoro's into guys? Luffy and I caught him having sex with that Saga guy that we met on that island with the 7-star sword."

Robin's mouth curled up into a smile. "Oh? I did not know that. Though I am not surprised. Swordsman-san doesn't seem to be one to discriminate by gender." Though of course, Robin also knew that he would never really disclose this information unless asked. Zoro was private, but yet still so open.

"He doesn't discriminate with anything, even with food." She chuckled.

Sanji felt his entire body grow tense. He pulled away from their conversation and stalked over to Zoro. "You. Kitchen. Now." He demanded, grinding his cigarette between his teeth.

Zoro was slightly startled by the sudden demand, but just shrugged and followed Sanji into the kitchen. Once the door was closed he turned to the cook, green brow arched. "What's wrong?"

"I heard an interesting piece of gossip just now." He ground out, folding his arms and leaning up against the counter. "Apparently you were getting fucked by some guy less than an hour ago."

Zoro shrugged nonchalantly. "Yeah. So?"

Sanji felt his chest tighten with annoyance. He couldn't come up with a viable excuse or argument against that simple two-letter word. He balled up his fists, "Fuck, fine, forget it. Just get out of my kitchen."

Zoro tilted his head slightly, face still completely stoic. "Are you jealous? I thought you didn't even like sex with me." He leaned against the counter with a smirk. "Look, shit cook, I don't really keep relationships. Every person I fuck's only there as an in between thing. I thought that was what was between us too."

Sanji lashed out at Zoro, attempting to get a good kick in that stupid face, but Zoro managed to dodge; the fucker. "Don't flatter yourself. I'm not going to waste jealous energy over you. It just grosses me out to think that if I had decided to fuck you tonight, I'd wind up with some random bastard's spooge all over my dick." He kicked out again, the heel of his shoe coming an inch away from Zoro's chest. "Now get the hell out of my kitchen, shitty marimo."

Zoro shrugged. "If you had wanted I would have taken a bath first." He wasn't inconsiderate. At least, not as much as Sanji thought. "Whatever, see you later." He then left, still rather nonchalant. He wasn't upset over this at all, considering he had no stakes in a relationship. Not to mention he didn't even have a relationship.

Sanji, however, was not nearly as nonchalant as Zoro was. He could still feel that tight, twisting anger in his chest as he got to work on an early dinner, considering they'd missed lunch. _'Stupid Marimo...'_ He thought to himself as he chopped his vegetables; minced more like. It wasn't an issue of cleanliness that bothered him, well, it played a part, but there was something else he couldn't put a finger on. He hadn't liked the thought of others enjoying Zoro's scent, but he didn’t really think of it as jealousy. More like an unwillingness to share.

Zoro spent most of his time out on the Sunny's lawn, of course he was pretty hungry most of the time. He didn't understand it, they'd had a good breakfast... He felt thirsty too. He didn't do anything about it, of course. Sanji probably didn't want to see him, and his needs could wait at least until dinner.

It was another hour before an extra large dinner was ready to be served. Sanji was twirling a glass of wine as everyone at noisily around him. He just needed to relax and not think about anything for the rest of his evening. Especially not about irritating bastards sitting diagonally from him.

Nami leaned over and whispered to Robin. “Is there something going on with Sanji and Zoro? They’re a lot more quiet than usual...”

Robin looked up from her dinner and a telltale smile. "It has been a long day for all of us, Navigator-san, I think perhaps they are just tired." She respected boundaries, and she wasn't about to assume anything. At least, not without any snooping beforehand of course.

“Hmm~” Nami pouted, wanting to gossip and speculate about it. “Alright.”

“Ahh~ Nami-san’s pouting face is super cute~” Sanji swooned, a slow trickle of blood sliding down from his nose. He’d gotten quite a bit better since leaving Mermaid Island, but he still had his moments.

"Careful, shit cook, just looking at the witch could kill you," Zoro snorted, finding a cheap remark in there somewhere as he was finishing up his dinner.

Sanji leapt up to kick Zoro' head in, but one of Nami's new and improved electrical clouds took care of that for him, shocking the swordsman till his hair was puffy and singed.

Sanji, and others as well, burst out into a fit of laughter at the sight of Zoro's puffed up hair. "Oh god, Nami-san, you've really turned him into a Marimo! Gyahaha!"

Zoro felt incredibly dizzy, which he really shouldn't have. He groaned and touched his hair, making a face. Well, he supposed he deserved that. He finished his dinner and got up, tossing his dish in the sink and got a drink of water. "I'm done, I'll be in bed," he mumbled, not really caring if anyone heard him or not.

Sanji watched as Zoro left, a few chuckles following the swordsman out the door. That smell tickled past his nose and he had to quickly stick his nose over his wine, pretending to appreciate the smell. He didn’t want to involve himself with the swordsman that evening; he was too annoyed to even want to bother.

Zoro took a quick bath (fixing his hair thank god) and quickly headed to bed, feeling unusually fatigued. It was a stressful day, he rationalized. Yeah, that was it. Just some stress.


	4. Aggrieved

Sanji had just bit his ladies ado before continuing on to deliver his special drinks to the others. They were approaching a summer island, and Luffy had equated the heat to be similar to the 4th level of hell at Impel Down.

Zoro was busy working out by lifting one of his impossibly big weights around with Chopper sitting beside him with Usopp. He'd been making sure to work out quite a lot more lately, as he'd noticed his stomach had been growing slightly... Not pudgy, but he had noticed that by now it had just barely spilt over his beltline, and he'd still been feeling dizzy over the past two months. It was really starting to get annoying.

As Sanji walked down towards the grass lawn, he noticed that, despite the intense heat, Zoro was still working out. Sanji himself had changed into a short-sleeved button with the top buttons undone. It was too hot to do much of anything, yet Zoro insisted upon working out. The idiot. As he approached the three, he never took his eyes off Zoro’s sweat streamed body, admiring how the sweat just poured over his muscles, disappearing into the hem of Zoro’s brown cargo shorts. His eyes traveled downward until they ran over his stomach. He noticed that the Marimo was looking a little...softer there. Highly unusual, and a perfect teasing opportunity.

“Looking a little soft, Marimo.”

Zoro was swinging the weight much like a sword, much to the delight of Chopper and Usopp who were reveling in the cool air that blew their way whenever Zoro swung the weight. Zoro grunted and let one end of the weight touch the ground so he could lean on it and catch his breath. "That's what I'm working on, shit cook." He wiped his forehead of sweat and rolled his eyes as Chopper and Usopp began whining at the loss of cool air.

“There’s no way you could’ve gotten that in the first place.” Sanji announced pompously. “My food is incredibly nutritious, and even though I incorporate extra protein into your meals you shouldn’t be gaining weight.”

Zoro just grunted and let the weight drop, feeling incredibly dizzy again. He went to lean against the railing, rubbing at his forehead. He wouldn't complain, perhaps he was just dehydrated. "Mind if I take a drink, shit cook?" he asked, tilting his head back up, his face probably slightly red.

“Yeah, sure.” Sanji handed the chilled drink to Zoro before handing one to Usopp and Chopper, smiling at their large smiles and grunts of appreciation.

“Thanks Sanji~ That really hits the spot.” Usopp took a long suck of his drink, almost draining it in one go.

“Yummyyy~” Chopper agreed as he greedily drank. Moments later, the two of them were gripping their heads in discomfort: brain freeze.

Zoro gladly downed the drink, sighing and handing the glass back. He was about to go back to lifting the weight when he found himself leaning over the railing, puking his guts up all over the side. Luckily most of it landed in the ocean...kinda.

Sanji didn’t know whether to be concerned or offended. He chose the latter. “What a perfectly good waste of drink.” Sanji grumbled as he picked up Usopp and Chopper’s empty glasses.

“Hey, Zoro.” Chopper quickly trotted over to Zoro’s side. “How are you feeling? Are you at all light-headed? Feverish?” He took Zoro’s hand and checked the pulse in his wrist. “I want you in my infirmary immediately!” He gently began to pull at Zoro’s shorts, urging him to follow.

Zoro kept a firm grip on the edge, trembling slightly. "I think I'm going to pass out..." It wasn't Sanji's drink. He just felt so suddenly sick- like it was just the feeling of liquid hitting the insides of his stomach.

Sanji was quick on his feet to catch Zoro as he almost fell over the railing. He tutted, "Che, useless swordsman. At least tell the doctor when you aren't feeling good so we don't have to wait for you to go unconscious." He hefted the idiot back up over the side of the ship and slung one of Zoro's arms around his shoulder, firmly gripping the wrist as he other arm went around Zoro's waist. He followed Chopper into the infirmary and placed Zoro on the bed. "My work here is done." He muttered before walking back out the door, closing it behind him.

Zoro groaned, one hand rubbing at his face as he managed to sit up. He couldn't lay down, it just didn't feel right. Instead he just leaned back on one hand. "I don't know what came over me- I feel fine now. I think I just wasn't drinking enough water." he didn't want to be checked on...

"Nonsense! In this heat, everyone's been maintaining their fluids. Plus," Chopper had gone into full doctor mode, "I know how you like to get out of these examinations. Just bear with me, if I don't find anything, you can say I told you so." Chopper folded his arms and smiled, knowing there was no way his doctoring skills could be out matched.

"Fine." Zoro sighed and sat up straight. "Just tell me what you need me to do, let's get it over with." He was glad no one else was in there, it would just be plain embarrassing.

“I’ll need to check over all your vitals, and if you can manage I’d like a urine sample and a blood sample.” Chopper wrapped the band for the blood pressure monitor around his arm before sticking a thermometer beneath Zoro’s tongue. “I want to make sure you don’t have the flu or some sort of viral or bacterial infection.” He slipped his stethoscope beneath the band and watched the gauge as he checked Zoro’s blood pressure. “A little low, but nothing dangerous.”

Zoro sighed and nodded. "Give me the cup..." He took the cup and turned around, filling it with urine and then handing it back. "How long will those...results get back?" He held out his arm, expecting Chopper to take his blood right away. He just wanted to get it over with.

Chopper pulled the thermometer out of his mouth. "Hm...your temperature is a little high." He took the cup back over to his desk before pulling out a sterile needle. "I should have the results back in a few hours. In the mean time, if you're going to be passing out like that, I insist that you stay put and rest."

Zoro nodded. "Yeah, maybe I should just stay here for a bit... At least until you get results back." If nothing was wrong, he would saunter out of there and go back to working out.

Chopper gasped dramatically, "You...you're actually listening to my medical advice and not fighting to leave?" He was tempted to run to the door and share the alarming news with the rest of his nakama. "Yes, there is most definitely something wrong..." He nodded to himself, folding his arms again.

Zoro made a face. "I've just been feeling dizzy a lot these past few...days." Nope, he would never say months.

Chopper looked up at Zoro knowingly, "It wouldn't have gotten this bad after only a few days. I'm guessing your condition has been ailing you for at least 8-9 weeks."

Eight to nine weeks...? Zoro frowned and tilted his head slightly. Well, about eight weeks ago he'd seen Saga... Or was that seven weeks? Something like that. "Whatever, I'm going to take a nap. I haven't all day, I'm tired." With that, he turned to face the wall, laying on his side on the bed. "Wake me up when you get results."

“Alright!” Chopper responded cheerily, his stern doctor mode gone and his chipper attitude restored. He pulled out all his testing equipment and got to work on the freshly collected samples.

A few hours later, Sanji opened the door, “Hey, we got food out here. You guys ready?” He looked at the marimo who was sitting up with an incredibly glum expression on his face. He panned his eyes over to Chopper who had clearly been trying to console Zoro before he’d walked in. “Er...well, when you’re ready.” He closed the door and went over to the table, serving up a cool sashimi platter.

Zoro looked up for just a moment, sighing. "How the hell did this happen..." He was trying to think back... Back to when he'd met up with the crew. That transvestite guy had tried to shoot a bunch of injections at Sanji...and two had hit him. Was this how it had happened? Either, way, he was rather...uncomfortable with the knowledge.

"Well, I could remove it for you...if you wanted..." Chopper offered, though clearly very uncomfortable with the idea. "But I'm not sure exactly how it could've happened. Your body can't just generate those sorts of things of its own free will."

"Nah, don't wanna kill it. Didn't do anything to me, it's just there." Zoro sighed and leaned back. "Back right when I was arriving on the ship, there was this transvestite guy, I think he had a Devil Fruit ability. I ended up getting stuck with a couple injections... Think maybe that's how it could've happened?"

"Oh, that's good." Chopper sighed in relief. "Transvestite guy?" He thought back, remembering a large faced man with big purple hair. "Oh! Sanji knows him. Maybe he can help you?" Chopper offered, smiling confidently.

Zoro nodded. "You said 8-9 weeks?" Zoro asked, frowning. He then started to count on his fingers, counting back the weeks, and also taking into account of when he'd started feeling dizzy. "I know who it belongs to."

"You do?" Chopper asked excitedly, "Who's the father, Zoro?" His little eyes beamed with excitement. He'd never taken care of a pregnant patient. Despite the fact that he had studied it in his books, experiencing the miracle of life was something else entirely. He was looking forward to bringing the baby into the world.

"It's Sa-" Zoro was about to say Sanji. Which would be the truth, it was definitely Sanji. But of course, he knew Sanji wouldn't want him to be telling anyone about their fucks. "It's Saga."

"Saga...?" Chopper furrowed his brow, "How could it have been Saga? Perhaps back on G-5?" Chopper gave Zoro an incredulous look. How had he found time to have sex while they were all hurrying to get out of there. "Well, congratulations, Zoro. Are you going to send a letter to Saga about the baby? He might want to know."

"We found each other, and we had a quick fuck, I wasn't really thinking about it at the time." No, he had been feeling dizzy and sick before then- and even so, Sanji had fucked him after Ivankov's messup way before Saga. "Nah, he probably wouldn't want to know. It doesn't matter." Zoro sighed and got to his feet. "Don't tell anyone, when we do, I want it to be me."

"Alright, Zoro, but it'd probably be better if you tell everyone sooner rather than later." Chopper opened the door that separated the infirmary from the galley. Nami and Usopp had been leaning towards the door, trying to hear but to no avail.

Zoro made a face and just went to sit down. He looked to Sanji and mouthed 'we need to talk' then looked down to his food, casually ignoring any questions about his health.

Sanji furrowed his brow, but he didn't say anything. He looked away, having finished his food, and lit up a brand new cigarette.

When dinner was finished, Zoro got up and started gathering dishes, making it obvious he was volunteering for washing dishes with Sanji. He brought them over and glanced over his shoulder briefly, making sure everyone was gone, though Luffy and Chopper seemed curious as to what he was doing since it was rare Zoro would actually volunteer for something.

Sanji gave a half-hearted glare at Zoro as he picked up the dishes. "You're not getting any booze in return you know." He muttered as he rolled up his sleeves.

"I can't have any." Zoro wasn't an idiot. He dropped the dishes in the sink (carefully!) and turned, leaning against the counter with a long sigh. He looked as if he were debating something in his head. Then decided to just be blunt, but definitely quiet, with it, "I'm pregnant."

The dish Sanji had in his hand shattered beneath his death grip. He looked over at Zoro, disbelieving. "What." He was a hair's breadth away from freaking out. He really hoped he'd heard wrong.

"I'm not gonna fucking say it again, shit cook, it's embarrassing enough as it is. I figure that transvestite guy did something- remember when I got hit by those injections?"

Sanji felt himself fire up, as he always did when he was pissed. "That stupid, shitty okama..." Sanji gripped the edge of the sink until his knuckles were bone white. "You sure its mine? Not that other guy's?"

“Why are you asking? Do you care?" As far as the crew was concerned, the kid was Saga's, unless Sanji told everyone otherwise. Zoro wasn't about to out him.

"Actually I'm kinda hoping its his and not mine." Sanji answered honestly. "Save me a shit load of trouble." He shook off the clean plate and dried it a little more aggressively than necessary.

"It's yours." Zoro sighed and shrugged. "But as far as everyone else is concerned, it's Saga's."

Sanji sighed and ruffled his hair in frustration. "And I'm guessing you're keeping it."

Zoro snorted. "Not the kids fault this happened. More like mine." He sighed and turned to actually start helping with the dishes. "Doesn't matter, it's not like I'm going to ever say it was you anyway. That's what you care about, right?"

"Dammit, Zoro, it's not that simple!" Sanji dried the last of the dishes before turning to face Zoro. "Whether I like it or not it'll be mine too. I can't just ignore it, it's a baby for fuck's sake." He snubbed out the spent butt of his smoke before lighting a new one. "I just don't think now is the best time to start a family, much less having one come out of just a casual fuck."

“You don't have to do anything," Zoro sighed, looking over at Sanji seriously. "It might be serious to you, but for me, it's just another obstacle in life. So what, it's a kid, it's gonna happen, it doesn't have to be a big deal. Knowing us it'll be its own type of monster." He sighed and rubbed at his temple.

“Look," Sanji's face grew very dark and very serious, "a child isn't something you can brush off so flippantly. It's not just an obstacle, it's a living, breathing, human that'll one day have its own life story. Don't treat it like its nothing." He turned back to the clean plates, picking them up to put them away. "Now get the fuck out of my kitchen."

Zoro sighed and shook his head. Obviously he and Sanji didn't see this as the same thing. At least, not the same coping. "Sure, I'll see you in bed," he muttered, brushing past and going out to the deck to lay out on the lawn, hopefully just to relax a bit.

"Fucking, shitty, marimo bastard." Sanji grumbled, "Dropping a bombshell like that and then just shrugging it off like nothing." Sanji finished putting everything away and wiped down the surfaces. He sat down with his ashtray and a fresh pack and thought, not moving until it was well past a respectable bedtime.

Zoro ended up sleeping most of the rest of the day. But in the morning after breakfast he waited around, standing and leaning against the table. "Hey, shit cook, we should talk about this."

"Thought we already talked about it." Sanji mumbled as he washed out the pots and pans. "When else could you possibly have left to say?"

Zoro shrugged. "I don't really, just thought I'd make a fucking effort."

"You don't seem to give a rat's ass bout that thing growing inside you. I don't see why you'd bother." He didn't even turn around as he spoke. "Now leave me alone. I'm still freaked out that this is happening and you're just about the last person I want to see right now."

"Who says I don't give a rat's ass? I haven't killed it, that must show some sort of point that I actually do give one." Zoro snorted and shook his head, crossing his arms. "You act like you have to have a stake in it. If you don't want to, you don't have to."

"Because, dammit Zoro, just because I'm not the one carrying it that doesn't make it any less mine!" He whirled around and wanted so badly to lash out at the moron, kick his face in. "Just leave me the hell alone. I don't want to talk about it."

"Hey, if the kid actually survives more than a few days in this crew, I highly doubt you'll be the only one who thinks it's not just yours." Luffy would probably be ecstatic and announce the kid a part of the crew before it was even born.

"That's not what I meant!" Sanji's patience was wearing thinner than it had in a long time. "Just get the fuck out and leave me alone already!"

"I'm trying to be civil, and actually make an effort to talk about something that needs to be talked about," Zoro snapped, running an aggravated hand through his head. He spun on his heels. "Whatever."

"And I already told you I wasn't ready to talk about it!" Sanji barked as the door closed. "Fuck! Fuck, fuck, FUCK!" He lashed out, kicking something over, though he wasn't sure what, his vision clouded over by anger. The clatter was loud enough that people outside could hear it, along with the offensive exclamations.

"Wonder what's got Sanji-kun so upset..." Nami asked herself quietly.

Zoro didn't honestly think this was such a great big deal. Yes, it was a kid, it was a life changer, but it wasn't like it never happened. Kids happened. He just went out to lean against the mast and take a nap. Chopper had told him to stop lying on his back because it would hurt the kid or something, he didn't care, he'd just prop himself up against something. Now if only that nagging feeling would leave.

Sanji came out a little later to deliver drinks. It was still hotter than hell outside and he wanted to make sure everyone was properly hydrated with plenty of electrolytes. He glanced over at Zoro and glared. He'd save that annoying bastard for last.

Zoro didn't much care when he would be served his drink, as long as he wasn't passed over. Because if he got passed over, Sanji was seriously pissed. If Sanji was denying his right to be hydrated, then he would have to go apologize.

Sanji had been seriously tempted to simply skip over Zoro, but he was far more mature than that. He held the drink above Zoro's head and over his lap. "Keep that thing healthy." He murmured for Zoro's ears only, dropping the glass, expecting Zoro's reflexes to save it before sauntering off, his body rigid with annoyance.

Zoro caught the drink, slightly surprised the cook had bothered to say anything. He just nodded and started to drink. He wasn't about to stop eating healthy.

Sanji went around and collected the glasses, all of the drinks having been almost immediately consumed. This time he didn't bother to grab Zoro's glass and simply went and sat in the kitchen, turning off the lights and enjoying the cool of the dark room.

Zoro looked up as Sanji refused to collect his drink. He just sighed and closed his eyes. Hopefully Sanji would cool off soon, that way he would be able to talk to him properly.


	5. Flummoxed

They had finally stopped on that almost unbearably hot island. The islanders, crazy fuckers they were for living there, didn't seem to particularly mind the Strawhats being there, so everyone was allowed to walk around freely. Sanji was shopping for food, finding lots of incredible produce that had grown within the rich, volcanic soils of the island. It was then that he caught a wiff of that smell; a smell he had had the pleasure of not experiencing in quite a while. Almost instantly, his 'little Sanji’ was up and ready to go. "...Shit..."

Zoro had been passing by with Chopper, hefting heavy books and brand new medical supplies, gladly paid for with the budget Nami had allowed. He had briefly seen Sanji in the street they were passing, but hadn't really paid attention- Chopper's rattling about safe pregnancies and how it was a miracle he hadn't miscarried already with all his risky behavior were rather distracting.

Sanji could smell that the scent was starting to ebb away. He quickly gathered up his groceries and hurried after it, as if driven by deeper, animalistic desires. He was hoping that it was simply his "Mellorine Sensor" and not his recently acquired "Marimo Monitor" that was acting up. Only way to find out was to follow that smell.

Zoro looked over his shoulder and made a face when he saw Sanji following them indirectly. Was it him? For some reason Sanji just seemed to be following and looming over him the past couple days... He hoped it wasn't something about him.

Sanji still hadn't seen Zoro or Chopper, and was looking around for a beautiful woman whose scent he'd hopefully picked up.

"I'll take that stuff off your hands, Zoro." Chopper offered, switching to his walking point. "You go enjoy yourself. I'll have more to lecture you on once you get back."

A small tic appeared between Zoro's eyebrows but he decided to ignore it and just grunt. "I'll just explore a bit..." He turned and started weaving through people, bumping right into Sanji. "Oof... What the hell shit cook, watch where you're going."

Sanji leaned in and took a light sniff, frowning when he realized he'd discovered the source of that scent. "Sometimes I wish my nose wasn't this good." He grumbled before taking Zoro's arm and pulling him into a dark alleyway.

"Uh..." Zoro wasn't entirely sure what was going on. "What are you talking about? Why are we going into a suspiciously dark alley?"

"Cause then no one will see." Sanji pushed Zoro against a wall and leaned in until their faces were nearly touching. He whispered, his breath ghosting over Zoro's lips. "This can go 1 of 2 ways. Either I fuck you, or you blow me. Cause I'm not letting you go until I get one or the other." He ground against Zoro's leg, showing the man just how painfully hard he was.

Rolling his eyes, Zoro just shrugged. "Sure, whatever you want. Your choice, pick a position."

Sanji growled, "Che." He turned Zoro around so he was against the wall. "This is easiest." He grumbled before pulling Zoro's pants down just enough to show his ass. He spat on his hand a couple times and stroked his dick, pressing the head inside.

Zoro groaned and bit his wrist, trying to stay quiet. He shuddered, body clamping down tightly on the cook. It felt different than the last couple times. Though of course, it had been a bit.

Sanji hesitated a moment, putting a leash on his lust. Something within that haze of pheromone induced violent lust was telling him to try and be a bit gentle. He pressed forward slowly, waiting until Zoro stopped clenching so tightly.

"Hng..." Zoro groaned and sighed, shuddering at the feeling of Sanji's flesh rubbing him in all the wrong ways- that felt so right, of course. "Sh-shit cook, I'm not a fucking glass vase, fuck the shit out of me dammit."

"Shut up! I'll fuck you however I want." He frowned, all those messages in the pheromone haze had tricked his mind into thinking it was a lady he was dealing with. He pressed himself fully against Zoro's back and began to rut into him with harsh, quick thrusts. His hands pressed against the wall next to Zoro's, his thumbs barely brushing against Zoro's pinkies.

Zoro shuddered, the cool brick of the wall contrasting sharply with his hot skin, almost chafing him as he was driven and moved so much by the force of Sanji's thrusts. He kept quiet, reaching down to touch himself and angling his hips slightly, wanting to at least feel as good as he could through this. He did feel good already, but he needed more.

Sanji came early, alarmingly so. It'd been a while since he could tolerate Zoro enough to want to get anywhere near him. Now that he'd given in to his desires, he no longer felt the need to relish in that delicious smell. He pulled away, leaving Zoro flushed and unfinished, cum already starting to slip out from his hole.

Zoro grunted, still stroking himself. "Fucking shit cook, what the hell, going to just leave me like this?" he demanded sharply, biting his bottom lip. Rude.

"I've had about as much of you as I can handle." He answered honestly, "Besides, I already came once. Not like I can get it back up for you again."

"Fuck!" Zoro came, thankfully, and sighed, resting against the wall. "Yeah, well fuck you, could've at least given a fake shit to stay in, would've gone by faster." Their first fuck in what felt like ages and Sanji was being a worse dick than usual.

Sanji got a complicated look on his face. Actually, it fluctuated between several, complex, mixed emotions. He zipped up his pants and hurried out of the alleyway, practically running. He didn't say a word as he left.

Growling, Zoro did up his pants and gripped his behind, trying to squeeze his muscles together to keep from letting Sanji's cum stain his underwear. Bathtime.

Sanji was...confused. Zoro may have been the one who was pregnant, but Sanji felt like he was the one on the hormonal roller coaster. He blamed his delusional thoughts on the extreme heat.

While Sanji was busy being confused, Zoro was having a wonderful hot bath. It was relaxing. Which meant it was doing its job. He looked down at his stomach and poked it, groping around and finding a hard spot, where surely a baby bump would appear. He was already looking softer around the hips and waist, what the hell was going to happen to his muscles? He suddenly had the intense urge to work out.

Sanji had retired—he was most certainly not hiding—in his kitchen, cleaning and organizing. The motions were relaxing and they gave him time to think. However, the more he though, the more confused he got. He needed to talk to someone, but there was no one to talk to.

Once Zoro was done with his bath he went out to start working out. He didn't care if Chopper wouldn't like it, he wanted to work out and at least stay fit, no matter how much it would stress him out. It didn't stress him out, though, it calmed him. He hated to think that he would become soft and weak just because of some little critter inside him.

However, as soon as he got near those weights, Chopper was on his ass. "ZORO!" The doctor screeched, blocking him from the weights. He lowered his voice so the others wouldn't hear. "The baby can't tolerate that kind of stress. You could kill it!" Sanji had decided just then to step out of the kitchen. He looked down and saw that Zoro was preparing to work out. An angered tick formed on his forehead.

Zoro growled and made a face. "How the hell am I supposed to stay useful to the crew if you won't even let me stay in shape? Shouldn't I be staying in shape, shouldn't I be healthy for the damn thing?" he demanded, really not liking at all that he was being kept from something that comforted him.

"You can be healthy without overexerting yourself. Plus, its still incredibly hot out, it's dangerous to overheat. I'd suggest some aerobic exercises. Yoga and swimming are both great ways to stay in shape while...pregnant." Chopper lowered his voice, not wanting Sanji, who had come over, to hear about Zoro's pregnancy.

Zoro made a frustrated noise. "I don't want to do any stupid yoga, and I can't very well go swimming out in the ocean without fear of my ass getting bitten off!" Who knew what was in there!

"Yoga is very good for you!" Chopper insisted.

"Chopper," Sanji interrupted, "let me talk to him for a minute."

Chopper looked up at Sanji suspiciously before nodding a bit, leaving the two men to their own devices.

Sanji turned on Zoro, anger in his eyes. "What the hell are you trying to do?"

"What the hell does it look like I'm doing, I'm trying to stay in shape," Zoro snapped, turning and crossing his arms at the cook. "Are you going to stop me from doing that too?"

Sanji lowered his breath to a deadly whisper, "I'm not going to let you kill our kid because of your selfish decisions."

"Since when was it _our_ kid," Zoro growled, gaze narrowing. He didn't care if Sanji wanted to be in the kid's life, but he had to choose between their relationship being secret and being the kid's other parent. He couldn't have both.

Sanji ground his teeth into the filter of his smoke. "You know what? Fine. You wanna play it like that then you go ahead. But remember this, Zoro," he pointed a finger in the tan face, "you brought me into this of your own free will by telling me about it, you have no right to shut me out."

Scowling, Zoro swatted Sanji's finger away. "I'm just saying, you can't be the kid's father and try and keep our whatever it is relationship secret at the same time. You've gotta pick one, and I don't particularly care whichever it is."

"Yeah, I've noticed that you don't seem care much about anything." Sanji turned on his heels and walked away, not sparing a glance behind him.

Zoro was slightly taken aback by that. Was he coming off as aloof or uncaring? He really did care about the kid...kind of. He wasn't exactly sure how he should act about it at the moment. He knew he should care, but he was also torn between trying to act like he didn't because he didn't want to seem like this was making him act any differently than normal. Which it was, he was just doing a damn good job at hiding it.

The muddled thoughts were gone. Sanji knew how he felt about Zoro: he was an uncaring bastard. He'd thought Zoro would care more, considering he'd always seemed to have a soft spot for the kids they'd run into on their adventure so far. He didn't know what he'd been hoping for. Well, he hadn't exactly been the most considerate either...and the roundabout thoughts were back again. He wanted to just hit his head against something hard and completely forget everything.

Zoro went to take his usual seat beside the mast and sighed, mulling over his thoughts. He was wondering if he was really the kind of person to be having a kid- lord knew he'd probably be a terrible parent. Sure he had the protective skills, but he had absolutely no know-how. A thought crossed his mind of asking Chopper to remove it... But he shook it away. It wasn't the kid's fault it happened to be there. The thing just wanted a chance at life, after all.

Nami had been taking care of her oranges when she noticed an intense confrontation between Sanji and Zoro, much unlike their usual squabbles. She squinted, not liking what she saw. She hurried down and confronted the lazy swordsman. "So, what's up with you and Sanji-kun?"

Zoro cracked an eye open. "What do you mean what's up with me and the shit cook? Nothing is up." He felt like he was being too suspicious in his denials... "He's just butthurt because I probably spilled some food at breakfast or something."

“Zoro, I’m not as easy to fool as some of us here.” She gently flicked his forehead. “And I’m not going away until you tell me the truth. I’ll even remove a percentage of your debt, depending on your answer.” She smiled; his move.

"Hurk..." Zoro wasn't sure if he liked that. Stupid witch and her blackmail. Well, this wasn't exactly blackmail. This was extremely good persuasion. "Well, it's gonna sound fucking impossible to you..."

"At this point, nothing will surprise me." Nami reassured, "Being with Luffy this long, I'm surprised you'd think anything was impossible with us."

"No, I mean this is physically impossible," Zoro told her with a snort. "So, uh... That Ivankov guy, the transvestite with the weird devil fruit powers. He was trying to turn Sanji into a chick and a couple of the injections hit me. So, uh... Now I've got a kid."

Nami blinked for a moment. "I'll admit...that surprised me." She stood up and slapped a hand over her mouth as she coped with the new information. She couldn't exclaim about it, as she assumed this was still a secret, and she couldn't go running off to tell somebody about it for the same reason. Suddenly she jerked her head up. "Is it Saga's!?"

Zoro shrugged. "Does it matter?" If Nami really persisted then he would give in and say it was Saga's, as he wasn't entirely sure if Sanji cared about people knowing yet.

"Of course it does! You should know who the father of your baby is, Zoro." She huffed, putting her hands on her hips. "Are you gonna tell him?"

Zoro shrugged. "Maybe. I don't want him to feel obligated he has to care for the kid or anything. He probably wouldn't want to parade around with us anyway just for some kid he didn't even mean to make."

Nami sat back down in front of Zoro, making their conversation a bit more private. "Well how was he supposed to know he'd knock you up? I mean, it might freak him out a bit, but I bet he'd like to be a part of the family, you know?"

"Mm. I'll send him a letter or something." Zoro shrugged. He didn't want Saga to get all hyped up about having a kid- then suddenly realize it wasn't his if the kids came out looking like Sanji or if Sanji decided to take responsibility.

"What do you think you're going to do? Bring Saga with us? I mean, if he wants to be involved, it'd be rough to be so far away, you know?" She mused aloud.

"This life changing, that's for sure." Nami agreed. She stood up from where she sat. "Well, I was originally only going to knock off .17%, but you really confided in me, so I'll bump it up to 2.5% but with a 1.3% bump for my advice."

Zoro's eye twitched again. "Whatever. Just don't tell anyone, alright?"

"Of course." She winked, "There are 2 things in this world I keep to myself: secrets and money~" She turned away, leaving Zoro with his thoughts.

Zoro just nodded and closed his eyes, trying to go back to relaxing. Hopefully he could stay that way the rest of the day.

Luffy peeked around the deck, making sure everyone was accounted for before he tried his luck at sneaking into the kitchen to try and steal a snack. Sure everything had a lock on it now, but he could break those easy! …Most of the time! With that he snuck into the kitchen and started trying to break the lock on the fridge.

"Looking for something?" Sanji's tone was icy as he interrupted the attempted raid. Sanji had been sitting in the dark—the lights were aggravating his headache—enjoying a smoke and a glass of wine.

"Oh, hey Sanji! I was wondering where you were!" Luffy laughed, "Why're you sitting in the dark? You should come out and have fun with us! And I was just trying to get a snack—hey Sanji can I have a snack?"

"No." He answered, feeling his head throb. "Get out of the kitchen, Luffy. It's not time for food yet." He ran a hand over his eyes, not in the mood to yell right then.

"What? But why, I'm hungry! And you're acting weird, why aren't you kicking me!" Luffy then flopped onto the table, looking intently up at Sanji. "What's wrong? I am ordering you as your captain to say what's wrong!"

"If you want me to kick you that's no problem." Sanji smirked for a minute before it fell again. "It's too complicated to talk about, Luffy."

"It can't be that complicated! If you can think about it you can say it!" Luffy laughed, rolling onto his back and still looking up at Sanji with his goofy smile. "Captain's orders, tell me what's wrong or I'll tell Nami!"

That did earn Luffy a kick from Sanji. “You wouldn’t dare trouble Nami-san with such a trite issue.” His eyes narrowed, “I won’t forgive you for trying to use Nami-san as a threat.”

Luffy burst out in laughter, holding his sides. He grinned and got up. "Come on, Sanji! Tell me, tell me, tell me! I won't leave until you do!"

Sanji sat back down and took a sip of his wine as he thought about how to bring up the issue. "What do you do when something that was fun, suddenly isn't fun anymore? What if the rules of the game you're playing suddenly got more complicated, and now that the rules have changed, you're not allowed to leave the game, and you have to keep playing, you feel like you have to, even if you may not want to. Though suddenly you're seeing a whole new, confusing side of the game that's intriguing, but even more complicated." Sanji realized that the hypothetical loop-the-loops would probably throw Luffy for...well, a loop, but he didn't care. Maybe the complexity of it all would get Luffy to back off.

"Sometimes you just gotta punch the game in the balls and break the rules!" Luffy laughed, grinning and making a punching motion.

"Er...no. It's really not the game's fault." Punching Zoro and the baby in the balls wasn't exactly the solution he was going for. "And some rules can't be broken Luffy, it's not that simple."

Honestly most of what Sanji had said had gone right over Luffy's head, but he wasn't about to let that bother him. He was going to help his Nakama no matter what. "Then can we stop talking all weird, because it hurts my head! What's this really about, Sanji?"

Sanji sighed, "In short Luffy, I've gotten myself in a fix and I don't know what to do." Might as well try and make this as painless as possible.

"What kind of fiiiiix, stop being vague!" Luffy exclaimed with his usual childish pout.

"Well, it's difficult to talk about, Luffy!" Sanji grit his teeth, "It's not something I want to talk about."

"But I'm your captain, and you're my Nakama, I have to love you forever!" Luffy exclaimed.

Sanji smiled at that. "Love...what a troublesome thing." Sanji  muttered. "Luffy, you have to swear on your life, on your _hat_ that this conversation won't leave this room." He pointed, face serious and sharp.

"I swear on Hat that this conversation won't leave this room," Luffy repeated with a grin, holding his straw hat to his chest and beaming with pride. He couldn't believe Sanji would make him promise this, he would have kept it secret anyway if it was this important!

"Well I suppose I'll start from the beginning. You remember when Ivankov was on board, right? Back before we headed off for Mermaid Island." The memory brought forth a trickle of blood from Sanji's nose.

"Unh-hunh?" Luffy grinned, already telling that this would be an awesome story.

When Sanji was finished Luffy started laughing and clapping. "That's awesome! What do you think we should name it? I can't wait to make the crew stronger!" Luffy was interested in neither how it happened nor that the kid wouldn't be there for a while, he just wanted it to happen soon.

"Luffy, it's a baby. It probably won't even be able to walk for almost a year." He sighed, "God, why'd this have to happen...complicated everything..."

"What? But a baby would be awesome! It'll be just like both of you! I mean, that'll be awesome, the crew'll be ten times stronger and we get a new Nakama! How does this complicate things? I bet the rest of the crew will be excited too!" Luffy seemed confused as to how this was a bad thing.

Sanji didn't smile, if anything his mood sunk. "I wish it hadn't happened. It would've been so much easier if that stupid okama hadn't shown up."

"Aww, but Sanji, then we wouldn't be having a new crew member! Aren't you happy?" Luffy seemed so confused by Sanji's lack of excitement. "It's your baby, why aren't you happy?"

"...Cause, apparently, I'm not allowed to be the father." He poured himself another glass of red, swirling it before downing it all in one go.

"Eh!? How come!?" Luffy demanded, looking startled and turning incredulous, which was quite the comical mix on his face. "Why can't you!? Hunh!?"

"I had to chose between having the right to be that baby's father and exposing a casual...fling between me and that stupid Marimo." The wine was fueling his anger.

Luffy scratched his head, as if not understanding the question. To him- well, to him, the choice was pretty clean cut. "Ararara, wait, you would rather keep it secret than take care of the baby?"

“Luffy, our relationship could only be called casual at best. I don’t want to out a relationship when I don’t even know what it is. What, am I supposed to go out on deck, point at the Marimo and say ‘Hey, guys, I fuck him from time to time. Thought you all should know.’ Great thing to say.” Sanji was growing increasingly defensive. He was afraid that their relationship would go exactly where he didn’t want it to.

"You don't have to make it serioussss~" Luffy whined, pouting childishly at Sanji. "I think Zoro just wants people to know it's yours! Doesn't mean it has to be a serious mystery relationship shishishi!"

"I know I don't have to," Sanji mumbled, "but I'm afraid it'll become serious if it's outed." He filled his glass again, draining the bottle. "And that's just not something I'm ready for."

"Why does it have to be serious?" Luffy asked, tilting his head. "I mean, can't it be just like it is now?" Luffy pouted and huffed. "If you go with other people then still go with other people, if you do things every once in a while do it every once in a while!" It seemed so black and white to him.

"I don't want to raise a kid in that. I don't want it to grow up with the notion that it was a freak accident that happened during a casual fuck. I want it to grow up...loved I guess..." His face scrunched up at the image of him and Zoro as a sickeningly happy couple.

"Then love it!" Luffy still didn't understand how hard it was.

"I love _it,_ " at least he thought he did, "but I don't love _Zoro._ " Sanji was really trying to make this as simple as he could.

"You don't have to!" Luffy exclaimed, starting to get frustrated.

"Well, what if I'm starting to!" Er...that hadn't come out as he'd intended.

"Then love him!"

"I don't want to! He pisses me off!"

"Then don't!" Luffy was really getting frustrated. You either loved someone or you didn't!

"Dammit Luffy, I can't help it! Why are you so simple-minded!" The two of them were forehead to forehead, each frustrated that the other didn’t understand.

"Because this is a simple thing!" Luffy exclaimed, "you either love someone or you don't!"

"You can be unsure, shitty gomu!"

Luffy groaned and fell back on his back, crossing his arms. "This is stupid! Either don't love Zoro or love him! But you have to love the baby, captain's order!"

"I was trying to figure all that out before you barged in here trying to steal food." Sanji picked up his glass again and took a dignified sip of wine.

"I was hungry!" Luffy huffed and got to his feet with a pout. "This is stupid, I'm hungry."

"Then get out of the kitchen and wait till dinner!" Sanji kicked Luffy upside the head.

Luffy yelped and rolled away, huffing and walking out and sticking his tongue out at the other. "Stupid!"

"Shitty bastard! You wanted to know!" Sanji slammed the door shut and sulked back over to the table, picking up his wine to down it, but the glass never touched his lips. He put the glass back down and stared at the rippling drink. "You're right...it is stupid."


	6. Dubiety

Franky couldn't believe his ears. His eyes were bugged and snot dripped from his nose. He had to contain his surprised "EHHH!?" lest Sanji discover him. He slunk away as quietly as his massive, metal body would allow.

"Yohohoho~, Franky-san~!" Brooke sung, spinning and tilting forward just as Franky tip-toed from his spot, nearly falling down. "Why the rush~"

"Shh!" Franky picked Brooke up and quickly absconded, "You stupid bag of bones, you're gonna get me caught!" Franky looked around, making sure no one saw. He didn't think they had...

"Yohohoho~ What's going on?" the skeleton asked, tilting his skull and spinning again. "Why are we hiding?"

"I think I overheard something I shouldn't have." He whispered, wearily eyeing Robin, who was sitting nearby.

"What was it?" Brooke asked, spinning again and bending backwards to look at him.

"Knock it off!" He knocked Brooke over the head, "I'm serious!" He crouched down next to Brooke's collapsed body and whispered into the fro, "Cook-bro's got the hots for Zoro-bro."

"OhohoHO!" Brooke's jaw dropped. "My eyes are going to pop out at this news! That is if I had any~!"

"You can't tell anyone, alright Brook? This is between us, bro to bro. It's a suuu~uuuper secret!"

"I promise on my heart not to tell~ If I had a heart!" Brooke did another spin and tipped his hat. "Of course, of course, no one shall know!"

"If there's one thing I didn't miss over the past two years it was those lame ass jokes!" Franky shouted before casting another weary glance back over at Robin.

Brooke spun over and started doing this and that until Franky was off and doing something else, then approached Robin. "Robin-san~ I just heard something so interesting~"

And so it went. The news spread like wild fire amongst the nine pirates until Chopper glomped the sleeping swordsman, bawling his little eyes out. "Zoooroooo~"

Zoro jerked in surprise. "What...? What's going on?" he asked, brow furrowing. He pulled Chopper to his little feet and looked him in the eyes. "What the hell is going on?"

"Please don't leave us to elope to the North blue with Sanjiiii! We-We haven't completed our dreams yet! And we haven't found One Piece and-and Luffy hasn't become the kiiiing~" Tears and snot streamed down the incredibly distressed doctor's face. "I'm gonna miss you guys so muuuuuch~! Please don't leeeeeeave~!"

"Wh- I- how- WHAT!?" Zoro shouted, eyes nearly bugging out and twitching with confusion and anger. "H-how, what the hell are you talking about!?"

"But-But-But I heard that Sanji had proposed to you after G-5 and-and you guys wanted to keep your love a secret so you were going to run away together..." Chopper frowned, "I'm sorry that we all found out..."

“Where...did...you hear this...?" Zoro asked, an incredulous look on his face. "That is by no means true, no way am I ever doing shit with that stupid cook."

"But...Usopp said that Nami said that Robin said that Brooke said that Franky said that he heard Sanji asking Luffy if he could take you to the North Blue with him..." Chopper was beginning to get the feeling that somewhere down the line things had gotten a little...off.

Zoro nearly flipped his shit. He already was...just quietly. "That's not true- in any way. Why the hell would I be with Sanji anyway?"

Chopper tilted his head to the side, eyes wide and unknowing. The little reindeer shrugged, "Maybe you should ask Sanji?" Chopper sighed, smiling goofily, "I'm just glad you guys aren't leaving~ It would've been scary without you~"

Zoro immediately got up and burst into the kitchen, looking absolutely livid. "Shit cook, what the fuck is all this talk about us eloping in North Blue!?"

Sanji whipped his head around, almost launching the vegetables he'd been frying in his wok. He blinked, his brow furrowed. He looked away for a second as if trying to translate what Zoro had said. "WHAT?" He turned away from the stove, "What the _hell_ are you talking about!?"

"I have no idea what the hell is going on, people are talking about us eloping in North Blue, I just heard from Chopper! How the fuck did this get started!?" Though he doubted it was Sanji who had started the rumor, he wanted to get some answers and now.

Sanji's eyes darted left and right as his thoughts went back and forth, trying to figure out where this could've—oh, of course. That damned idiot. That shitty, rubber idiot. Sanji took his vegetables off the fire before running his hands over his face in frustration. "What's it matter," Sanji responded quietly, "no one will actually believe that. Give it a couple days, it'll all blow over."

"I'm serious, where the fuck did this come from? Tell me, I have a right to know." Zoro demanded, shutting the door behind him.

"It's probably just one of Usopp's stupid stories. Just forget about it!" Sanji turned back to the stove and got back to work.

"You mean I don't have a reason to know?" Zoro demanded, getting a bit prickly over it. "Tell me! Did you start this? Did someone talk to you!?"

"So what if they did!?" Sanji felt annoyance bubble in the pit of his stomach. "It wasn't like I had a choice!" He sighed as he added a splash of soy sauce to his dish. "I was just spilling my guts. Had nothing to do with marrying your dumb ass."

"Who the fuck did you tell!" Zoro demanded, shouting now, stomping up to him and gripping Sanji by his tie.

"Let go of me!" Sanji matched his volume, shoving him off. "It's none of your buisness!"

"I deserve to know! Tell me if you told anyone!" Zoro shouted, getting angrier by the moment and shoving Sanji back angrily.

"Al- _right,_ you hormonal dipshit, Luffy ordered me to tell him what was causing my headache. What else would give me a headache other than you and...and _that!_ " He gesticulated towards Zoro's stomach angrily. "You happy now?"

"Why the fuck would you tell him?" Zoro demanded, only getting angrier. "Why the fuck would you tell someone without telling _me_!?"

"Because I _can't_ tell you, Zoro." Sanji let a waft of smoke escape from his lips. "Now, unless you want a blackened dinner, you'll leave me alone and let me get back to work."

"What can't you tell me that you told Luffy!?" Zoro demanded, his agitation worsening

"Just. Drop. It." Sanji ground out as he chopped, punctuating each word with a bang of his knife. "Get. Away. From. _Me."_

Angrily, Zoro flipped the table on his way out, stomping away and slamming the door behind him as he went to sit up on the top deck and brood quietly. He couldn't fucking take this.

Sanji crumpled to the floor, his back against he cabinets with his knees to his chest and his head in his arms. This had become such a mess. The next time he saw that purple-haired fucker with his stupid ass hormone injections he was going to kill him.

Zoro came down again in an hour, sighing. He shut the door quietly behind him. "I came to apologize." 

Sanji was gently stirring a sauce for dessert. He didn't even move as Zoro came in; didn't say a word.

"I'm fucking sorry, okay?" Zoro told him, holding out his arms defensively.

Sanji glanced over at Zoro for a second or two before going back to his sauce, not wanting the sugars in the fruit to burn. "Okay."

Zoro frowned, crossing his arms. "Is that it?"

When he deemed it ready, Sanji took the sauce off the stove and, very calmly, turned to face Zoro. "What more did you want? You apologized. Okay." He sauntered closer, the aura of a killer hiding behind the smile of a gentleman. "What, did you want a snide remark on how hearing the mighty marimo apologizing to a lowly chef is a first? Or perhaps you want me at your feet, licking your boots clean." He was right in Zoro's face, the tip of his nose barely an inch from Zoro's. “Is that what you want, Marimo-kun?"

"Fuck you," Zoro spat, "I don't fucking want anything from you. I just maybe want some fucking acknowledgement that I apologized—apologizing is fucking hard." He stepped back, not liking the close proximity at all. "Now I'm going to fucking leave you alone, like you want."

Sanji took a couple quick steps forward, reaching forward with one practiced hand, entangling the long, pale fingers in green spikes. He crashed their mouths together kissing Zoro roughly as he pressed Zoro back until he hit the wall. He ran his tongue over Zoro's lips. "There's your god damned acknowledgement. Now get out of my kitchen." He pulled away and went back over to the counter.

Zoro was too surprised to do anything other than let Sanji do it. He awkwardly slumped against the wall and wiped his mouth on his wrist, then hurried out of the kitchen, feeling slightly dizzy. He decided to go sit behind the mast, out of sight for the most part.

Dinner was profoundly awkward. Everyone, each with their own speculation on Sanji and Zoro's current relationship status, carrying from baby-mama to casual fuck buddies to star-crossed lovers planning to run away together. They were all looking between the two men, trying to figure out what was going on.

Zoro made a point of sitting as far from Sanji as he could, and didn't even glance at the cook. He wasn't even going to bother acknowledging the odd looks he was getting from the rest of the crew. He wasn't about to confirm them. Then again, he wasn't exactly about to deny it either.

Sanji held a very similar attitude towards the situation. After Zoro had left earlier, after the kiss, he’d crumpled to the floor in embarrassment. He just wanted everyone and everything to go away for a while. Leave him to think.

After dinner was over, Zoro went out to take a nap and came back in after the sun was set, checking to see if Sanji was still there. "Hey. You still here?"

"Where else would I be?" He was mopping the floors. Dinner had been exceptionally messy that night. He stuck the mop in the bucket and wiped his forehead with his forearm. "What do you want?"

Zoro shrugged and shut the door behind him, leaning against it. "I don't know. Fucking stressful day."

"Like you're one to talk. You got to nap all day." Sanji rolled his sleeves back down. "I had to work on top of this mess."

"Do you want help?" Zoro asked, thumbs in the hem of his hakama, looking away. "Since I'm just a fucking lazy ass."

"Well, you came just in time. I just finished the floors and was about to pop a cork. No need for you here." Sanji picked up the bucket and put it by the door so he wouldn't forget to dump it. He hummed a bit as he headed over to his rack, looking over the labels.

Zoro sighed and just went to sit at the table. "Hey, fuckin' sorry about this stupid day... I don't fucking know how this happened, I just wish it hadn't."

Sanji popped the cork on a Cabernet sauvignon, taking a sniff of the cork before pulling a glass from the shelf. "Yeah? Which part of today do you wish hadn't happened?" The tone of his voice suggested Zoro answer carefully.

"Most of it." Zoro didn't care if Sanji analyzed that answer. "The fucking rumors, the fucking awkward dinner..."

"You wish I hadn't...you know." He swirled his wine, aerating it before he took a sip, savoring the taste.

Zoro sighed and rubbed his temple. "Fuck it, I just wish this whole baby thing would go away." But he didn't want it to go away enough to have it removed.

"Hm..." Sanji didn't feel like arguing against that. He just wanted to sit and enjoy his evening glass of wine. He'd been drinking a lot of it lately, his rack was emptying much too quickly for his tastes.

Zoro sighed and rested his head in his arms. "You think we'd make good parents? Not like...great parents, but...do you think the kid'd come out okay?"

That caught Sanji's attention. "Ohh? Do I detect a bit of uncertainty, Marimo?" His tone was joking, but his face was serious. "I didn't think you cared." He took another sip, "I don't know. I think we'll do alright. Kid'll grow up with 9 parents instead of just 2 though."

"Do you think that'll make it any easier?" Zoro needed answers to these questions, he needed to know if he could turn out to be alright, or if he would just screw up the kid's life. He needed some form of reassurance.

"I think we'd do fine, even without the others." Sanji stared at Zoro over the lip of his glass. He downed the rest of his wine before standing up and stepping around the table. He leaned over Zoro, his fringe brushing over Zoro's face. "What do you think?" He murmured, his breath ghosting over Zoro's lips.

Zoro sighed and turned away. "I don't know. I'm not exactly in a real position to say I could raise a kid, but I don't think it would end up fucked out of its mind," he mumbled, rubbing at his face. "I'm so confused."

"Look at me." Sanji wanted to see what Zoro was thinking, see what he was feeling, but he couldn't unless Zoro looked at him.

Sighing, Zoro turned to look at the cook. "What?" He was so confused; he needed some sort of emotional support with this... He needed someone- anyone, he didn't care if it was Sanji or not. But Sanji was his first choice.

Sanji stared into Zoro's eyes, a quirk of a smile. "Roronoa Zoro, you are a man that can do anything he puts his mind to except kick my ass and walk in a straight line. The only time I've ever seen you fail was on the first day we first met." He knocked their foreheads together. "I'm not used to seeing you look so unsure of yourself."

"Shut the fuck up, this is a big deal," Zoro snapped, defensive. Sanji was questioning his manhood! "I have every right to be unsure!"

"I'm being serious. Zoro, I’ve been taking this whole thing seriously way before you did." He brought his face down by Zoro's neck. "We'll raise the best, damned kids on the whole Grand Line." He latched his lips to Zoro's neck, teeth grazing over the bronzy skin.

Zoro's breath hitched, one hand sliding over his shoulder and gripping tight. "Hng... Yeah...'m being stupid. Kid's gonna have nearly ten goddamn parents, this'll go fine."

Sanji traveled down and inhaled that delicious scent. "It'll go better than fine..." His hands slipped beneath Zoro's clothes, pushing it off his shoulders, groping and feeling up every inch of that scarred chest.

Zoro leaned back and spread his legs, moaning breathlessly. "Shit..." Was sex okay for the kid? Chopper hadn't said it was... Then again Chopper probably had no fucking clue he was even still having sex.

"Hn." Sanji chuckled smugly at how quick Zoro was to spread his legs. He gently ground against Zoro. He leaned in and whispered into Zoro's ear. "Get on the table..."

Sitting up sluggishly, Zoro moved to sit up on the table, leaning back on his elbows and discarding of his hakama, legs spreading. "Get some oil or something, my ass is still sore thanks to you."

“You’re welcome.” Sanji responded cockily before hurrying to grab the oil. He went back to Zoro, setting the oil beside the Marimo. He removed Zoro’s boots before placing the tan legs on his shoulders. He picked the oil back up and popped the lid before pouring a bit of oil over Zoro’s twitching, puckered hole.

Zoro grunted softly, hips twitching at the feeling and raised his hips, placing more weight on his upper back. "Hng, hurry the fuck up, before I change my mind," he growled, head tilting up slightly.

“You wouldn't dare change your mind." Sanji briefly contemplated preparing Zoro's ass, but he really didn't want his fingers going anywhere near that. He unbuttoned his shirt and shrugged it off his shoulders, too hot to do this with a long-sleeved shirt. He undid his fly and released his semi-hard member. "Zoro, can you do something for me?"

"I'm not sucking your goddamn cock, just lube it up and stick it in." Zoro snorted. No way was he putting that in his mouth.

"You think it'll go in like this!?" Sanji watched with dismay as he started to droop again. "Dammit, you're killing my mood."

"Just jack it a few times to get hard, fuck, it's not hard. You're the one who started this," Zoro snapped, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah...well, it's your stupid pheromones that keep botherin me!" Sanji argued back weakly, "If it weren't for that damn smell I probably wouldn't bother, damn Marimo!"

"I have no fucking clue what this smell is, I don't smell anything!"

"You can't smell yourself, dumbass."

"Then what the hell are you smelling?" Zoro snorted, rolling his eyes. "Saga said he smelled it too but I have no clue what the hell you two are talking about."

"Ugh, don't bring up your other hookup now." Sanji groaned. Some people have no class. "Congrats, you've completely killed my desire to screw you." Sanji put his dick back in his pants and zipped them back up.

"What? Why does that turn you off? I never complain about you telling me about girls you've screwed!" Of course, Sanji never did it during sex.

Sanji gave Zoro a long, flat look. "Yeah, but I don't talk about them while I've got my dick up your ass." He picked his shirt up off the floor. "And when you're only somewhat turned on, it doesn't take much to kill your mood."

Zoro groaned and collapsed on his back. "Whatever... I'm not horny anyway."

"Fuck you. Just the thought of doing it with me should be enough to get your rocks off." He countered pompously, slipping on his shirt and buttoning it up.

"Yeah, you're good, but not that good," Zoro snorted, rolling off the table. "Thanks for the heart warming speech. Dick."

“What more do you want from me?" He went over to where his glass sat and picked it up, taking it to the sink to wash it.

"Nothing. I'll be in bed," Zoro huffed, turning and walking out the door and towards the men's quarters. What a wonderful day. Absolutely wonderful. Shit.

Sanji dried his glass and placed it back in the cupboard. "Bastard brought it upon himself..." He reasoned. If only Zoro had complied... Then again...he wouldn't have wanted to suck Zoro's dick either. He needed to go to bed; today was hell.


	7. Obsessed

Zoro was working out (with Chopper's permission) and lifting barbells. Of course, he wasn't lifting nearly as much as he wanted to, but it would do for now as he shifted arms, a weight in each hand, looking off the side of the deck.

“Ooooi~ Zoroooo~ have you gotten weaker recently?” Usopp teased, “You know, if you need to be protected by someone strong, you could always ask the great Usopp-sama!”

Zoro's eye twitched but he just ignored the other. Usopp had gotten increasingly annoying lately. Maybe it was just the fucking hormones, but seriously, every time Usopp, Franky, or Brooke talked, they were right on the verge of being strangled.

Usopp hopped down next to Zoro, watching him work out. “You’ve been eating too much of Sanji’s cooking huh?” He smirked, “You’ve been getting a little pudgy~”

It wasn't the part about being pudgy that made Zoro toss his weight at Usopp's head (and it hit thank you very much), it was the part about Sanji. "That shit cook's got nothing to do with this, leave me alone."

Usopp was bleeding profusely when he got up from the ground. He supposed he deserved it, but it FRICKEN HURT! He wasn't a monster like the others. "So touchy!" Usopp creeped over to Zoro again and poked his slightly rounded stomach. He jumped back about a mile when he felt Zoro's stomach retaliate against his intrusive finger. "WHA-WHA-WHA—" Usopp's eyes were bugged, "YOUR STOMACH JUST—"

Zoro flinched as he was touched, and winced as he felt the kid kick back against Usopp's prodding. He promptly punched him in the face and dragged him by his nose to a more secluded part of the deck.

"Owowowowow Zo-Zoro, Zoro-san, Zoro-sama, please, don't pull me by my nose." Usopp begged in a nasally voice as Zoro dragged him away.

Zoro rolled his eyes and let go of Usopp once they weren't in danger of being overheard. "Next time you touch my fucking stomach I'm going to gut you and toss you in for the Sea Kings to eat."

"How was I supposed to know you had...! Er...what was that exactly? An intestinal worm?" Usopp was tempted to touch Zoro's stomach again, but he suddenly remembered Zoro's threat and withdrew.

Zoro's eye twitched. "I don't have an intestinal worm."

"Then what is it?" Usopp quirked an eyebrow. "Do you have like...really bad gas or something?"

"Ugh... It's a kid, okay? Now go away and shut up." Maybe if he just got it over with and someone on the crew knew who would spread it around would make it go over faster. They would find out soon enough anyway.

"Woahwoahwoahwoah, wait, WHAT!?" Usopp fell back onto his ass, "But-but-but how? Unless..." Usopp put a hand to his bearded chin, "...you were secretly a woman at one point..."

"I'm going to kill you even worse. No, I got shot up by that transvestite guy's whatever injections, and now I have a kid. It's not funny." Zoro made sure Usopp realized if he laughed he would be hurt worse.

"Hey, I was just trying to make sense of it!" Usopp put his hands up in defense. "So it was that weird okama guy." Usopp folded his arms, nodding his head as he took in the new information. Suddenly, another thought hit him. "Wait, then who's the father...Is it Sanji? Is _that_ why you got so defensive?"

Zoro bristled slightly, but tried to keep calm. "No, he's not. I'm just in a bad mood. Does it matter."

Usopp frowned, "What's got you in a bad mood? Hormones?" He wasn't teasing this time; he was genuinely curious.

"Not being able to work out as much as I want. Among other things," Zoro grumbled, leaning against the railing.

"Hmmm~" Usopp grunted. "Wait, if Sanji's not the father...who is? Luffy? Nami?" He joked, trying to get Zoro to smile.

"Saga."

"...When did you...?"

"When we were at the G5," Zoro replied with a shrug, looking over his shoulder. "We had a quick fuck before we found you guys."

“Gaahhh I didn’t need to know that.” Usopp cringed. “Well, it’s a little weird saying this, but congratulations, I guess. Who else knows?”

"Luffy, Nami and Sanji." Zoro shrugged again with a sigh. "Go ahead and tell people, they're gonna know sooner or later. It'd be better than making an awkward announcement about it right when I'm about to pop..."

Usopp saluted, "Yes sir!" He turned on his heels and ran off to tell the first person he saw. "Oiii! Brooke! Did you hear?  Zoro's having triplets!"

"THAT'S NOT WHAT'S HAPPENING!"

Usopp sighed dramatically, "It's true, that's not what's happening." He folded his arms and shook his head before perking back up again. "He's actually pregnant with quadruplets! He's been saying that they're Saga's so no one finds out who the REAL father is." His eyes shifted mysteriously as he told Brooke the story. "Wanna hear who the father really is?"

"USOPP, REMEMBER WHAT I SAID ABOUT THE SEA KINGS!?"

"Yohohoho~ Who is it~?" Brooke asked, doing a spin with excitement, thinking he could crack a joke about not having a certain body part again.

Usopp had been threatened by Zoro millions of times. It lost its sting after a while. "It's Smoker of the marines! He said it was Saga to help cover up a scandalous Marine and pirate relationship."

Zoro promptly tackled the liar and started throttling him. "That's not true now shut the fuck up! There's only one of them and it's Saga's!"

Sanji stepped out of the galley and looked over at the commotion. "What is this about quadruplets?" He had to remain calm, he had to remain calm, had to remain calm, calmcalmcalmcalmcalm. He absolutely could _not_ freak out now. There was no _way_ Zoro was having quadruplets...right?

"I told Usopp and now he's shouting outrageous shit!" Zoro shouted as he continued to strangle the weaker man, who was turning positively blue at this point.

"...Good. Wouldn't want a bunch of little Marimo's scurrying about." Sanji felt his heart calm down considerably. One child was worrisome; imagine four. "Let go of him. He teds to be somewhat useful from time to time." Sanji smirked at the strangled curse in his direction.

Frowning, Zoro let go and got off of Usopp, but made sure to point at him and made sure he was serious this time, "you can tell people, but if you dare stretch it around into one of those stupid fairy tales of yours, I'm going to mince you then force the shit cook to serve you on a platter."

"Why, and ruin a perfectly good serving platter? Not on your life." He lit up a cigarette, smirking a bit as he watched Usopp's nearly limp body slump to the floor.

Zoro rolled his eyes and went back to his weight lifting, but made sure to keep an eye on Usopp, just in case he tried that shit again.

Sanji wasn't sure how he felt about everyone believing the baby in Zoro's stomach to be someone else's. He supposed he was fine with it, not like they'd see the man any time soon. He was a little jealous that Usopp got to feel the baby kick when he had yet to even get close to Zoro. They hadn't  touched each other since that night in the galley.

Zoro noticed Sanji's staring from over his shoulder and turned. "Something wrong, shit cook?" he asked, though quiet enough so no one else would hear. He set the weights down and waited patiently.

"Mmm..." Sanji turned away and headed back into the galley, not saying a word. If Zoro really wanted to know, he'd follow.

Frowning, Zoro followed after a few moments and shut the door quietly behind him as not to attract too much attention. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing really." Sanji answered honestly, "Just got a little freaked it all."

"You can't trust anything that idiot says," Zoro huffed, rolling his eyes. "Something's bothering you, you gave me a _look_ outside."

"Yeah, cause I was afraid you had four little plants growing in your stomach. I know it's Usopp saying it, but it still freaked me out." Well, it was partially true.

Zoro arched an eyebrow and leaned against a counter, frowning as he felt movement in his abdomen. "Hey, they're movin'. Wanna feel?" He supposed he owed it to Sanji, up until now he'd been the only one feeling them move around- then Usopp.

Sanji felt his heart speed up with excitement and a bit of nervousness. “Uh, o-okay.” The corner of his mouth twitched into a smile for a second. He swallowed before shakily reaching out and placing a hand on Zoro’s stomach. He waited, frowning when he didn’t feel anything. “It’s not kicking...”

"Mm. It was a second ago." Zoro shrugged and frowned. "Damn kid." It was after he said that that he felt the kid moving. "Oh, it's moving again... Feel it?"

“Did it?” He placed both hands on Zoro’s stomach, crouching down and putting his ear against the slight bump. He felt something move against his left palm and then against his palm. He smiled, laughing a bit. He looked up at Zoro, smiling with childish glee. “I felt it!” It was an amazing feeling, the feeling of his child’s first movements.

Zoro smiled and closed his eyes. "Bastard's been moving all week. 'S hard to ignore it." It was kind of neat though. It had to barely have been four months- and while Zoro wasn't getting all that big, it was still neat to know the kid was already big enough to feel.

Sanji leaned his forehead against the bump. "Hey, baby." He said softly, "It's me, your daddy. I can't wait to meet you."

Zoro rolled his eyes but smiled. Cute. "I'm just lettin' you know now, if it turns out to be more than one, I give up." There was no way he could handle more than one.

Sanji was hearing Zoro through a filter of adoration for the baby. "Even if there were four of you I'd still love you all."

Zoro snorted in amusement. There was no way Sanji was actually listening to him anymore. Either way, he just let him have his moment with the kid.

Sanji pressed a gentle kiss to Zoro's stomach, rubbing his thumbs over the warm skin lovingly before standing up and walking back to the stove. "Thanks for letting me do that... It was really...kinda cool." The cook couldn't stop smiling.

Zoro shrugged. "Yeah, sure. Just tell me if you ever want to do it, I won't mind. Just not in front of the crew."

Sanji beamed, eyes and mouth wide and excited in a very Luffy-like manner. “Really?” He settled down to a gentle smile as he got started on a snack. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Nodding, Zoro sighed and tugged his shirt down a little more. "I'm going back out." He brushed passed Sanji and went back to his weight lifting, though with a soft smile now. That had been a pleasant interaction- one he appreciated.

**o()o()o**

At almost every chance he had, Sanji was all over Zoro's stomach, cooing over it and petting and listening to the life that was in Zoro's stomach. He didn't realize it, but it was starting to get on the Marimo's nerves.

Zoro had put up with it at first, then it started to get annoying, but he knew Sanji was just excited, then he was seriously starting to worry that Sanji actually thought it was required to do this. He was tolerating it but if Sanji started acting more retarded than already, he was drawing the line.

It was an hour before dinner and Zoro was in the galley, Sanji attached to his stomach as if he’d die if he let go. “You’re gonna be daddy’s little princess~ Yes you are~ You’re going to have Daddy’s good looks aren’t you~ My pretty, baby girl~ I’m gonna spoil you rotten~”

"Urgh..." Okay, if Sanji was actually assigning a sex to the kid before they knew, there was something wrong. "Sanji, we need to talk. You need to stop talking to the kid like it's already out, it can't even hear you." Or so he thought, he didn't actually know.

Sanji’s love-struck gaze disappeared when he looked up at Zoro. "I'm just trying to let her know she's loved. What's wrong with that?"

"We don't even know if it's a girl!" Zoro groaned, making a face. "You can let it know when it's out! Besides, everyone is going to think it's Saga's anyway, I wouldn't be so affectionate." Why did Sanji even want it to be a girl...?

Sanji was incredibly offended by what Zoro said. "Apparently I can't let it know when it's out. If I'm going to have to hide that this baby's mine, I want to love it while I can." He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against the bump. "I'm sorry you have to hear Daddy and Papa fight. Don't worry, you’re loved."

"Eugh, you make it sound like we have to do it together... You’re not daddy, I'm not papa, the kid is going to end up being everyone's, why make it call us certain names..." Zoro didn't appreciate all the affection to something that was inside him- especially since he felt like he was stuck in the middle.

Sanji stayed quiet, something rare for him. He frowned, not looking up at Zoro. He...wanted to be the baby's Father. He didn't want to have to hide it from the crew. He didn't want everyone to think it was Saga's. It was his baby. _His._ Not Saga's. "I love you, Princess..."

"Ugh, I give up." He then pushed Sanji away and went to the door, going out to start lifting weights. Maybe if he was out where the crew could see them Sanji would stop.

"Zoro!" He reached a hand out after him, but the door was slammed in his face. His hand fell to his lap. He sat there, unmoving for a couple minutes before getting to his feet and heading to the fridge. "Selfish bastard..."

Zoro sighed and dropped the weights after a while, then went to lean over the railing with a groan. He almost felt sick, but he'd gotten used to the dizzy feeling by now. He was really getting annoyed by Sanji's doting. It had been tolerable and actually kinda cute at first, but not now. Now it was just downright annoying and slightly creepy.

"You alright there, Zoro?" Nami peeked around at Zoro's face, trying to figure out what was wrong. "You look a little...put out."

"Mm. Sanji's acting like a freak," Zoro mumbled, sighing and shaking his head, rubbing at his temple.

"Oh? In which way? Sanji-kun is weird in many ways." She smiled, understanding that Sanji could be a little...intense. Though, she didn't understand why Sanji would be acting strangely around Zoro. Did it have something to do with the baby?

"Mnn. Since he found out the kid's been moving and shit he hasn't stopped talking to it. 'S really starting to get annoying. And creepy." Zoro sighed, turning to face his back against the railing.

Nami blinked. "Why would Sanji-kun be fawning over your and Saga's baby...?" Unless... "Wait a minute...Zoro...the baby isn’t _really_ Saga's, is it...?"

Zoro shrugged, head tilting back. "Does it really matter?"

"Oh my god!" She blinked rapidly, disbelieving, "That baby is Sanji-kun's, isn't it!"

"Go ask him, I'm sure he'd have something nice to say about it," Zoro snorted.

"Zoro, talk to me! What's going on?"

Zoro sighed and shook his head. "I'm serious, if he wants to say something you should go ask him- it's up to him if you want to know."

“He can't tell me why you look so upset." She furrowed her brow in worry. "I'll ask him later, but right now I'm asking you."

Zoro groaned and rubbed his eyes. "Yeah. He is. And he probably doesn't want you knowing, that's why I said it was Saga's."

"Well, that'd explain the funny looks..." She mumbled. "Alright, I'll leave you alone now." She sighed and turned to walk away. Really, men were so stupid.

Luffy pushed open the door of the galley, peeking inside. "Hey, Sanji? I just saw Zoro looking really angry on the deck did something happen?" The look had been more frustrated than angry, but really, Luffy wasn't one to make that direct distinction.

"Nooo, not again..." Sanji groaned. Why couldn't he get someone less...direct to talk to when he was feeling upset. He needed someone who could put the pieces together, not someone who smashed them to find what he was looking for.

"What's wrong?" Luffy whined, draping himself over the table and staring intently at Sanji. "What's wrong, tell me, captain's orders!"

"Quit abusing that captain's orders crap!" Sanji sighed, running fingers through his bangs. "I'm being denied my baby again."

"What did Zoro do now? Were you being a weirdo? I heard Zoro say to Nami you were acting like a freak." Luffy rolled onto his back childishly, looking back at Sanji upsidedown.

"I was _not_ acting like a freak!" Sanji insisted. "I was just...I'm not gonna be able to tell me own baby I love her...or him after they're born."

"Why not?" Luffy looked confused. "If you love it then say so! Why can't you?"

"I have been! I told the baby I loved it and then Zoro shoves me away and stomps out of the room. I don't know what got him so damned huffy."

"Ararara, waaaait, you were saying it now? Like to Zoro's tummy? Hahaha! That's so dumb!" Luffy laughed, pointing at Sanji childishly with his boyish laugh. "Why can't you say it when it's out? It can't even hear you in there!"

"They can understand you more than you think." Sanji sat down, a slow smile making its way onto his face. "I don't care if it can't really hear me. It makes me happy to talk to it." His brow furrowed again, "Now the bastard won't even let me have that."

"Arara, did you even ask why he won't let you have it?" Luffy asked, scratching his head.

"He doesn't want to raise it with just the two of us. He wants all of us to raise it together." He lit up a new cigarette inhaling deeply before putting his Zippo back in his pocket.

"You mean you don't want everyone to raise it all together?" Luffy asked, seeming slightly bewildered. That was what _he_ wanted to happen! "Why do you want it to be just you two? And what does that have to do with Zoro not letting you talk to his tummy?"

"Of course we're going to raise it all together, but I also want that little girl...or boy to know I'm it's Daddy." He tapped his cigarette against the lip of his ashtray. "And I don't know why that stupid Marimo shoved me away. He was fine with my cooing over it before but then today he has to go and get all pissy."

"Maybe he's just moody!" Luffy replied, shrugging and rolling onto his stomach.

"...Maybe..." Sanji took another drag.

"You should talk to him," Luffy said, kicking his feet up childishly. Sanji and Zoro really needed to talk about this sort of thing. He didn't want the crew to be in touble, so they had to work something out!

"Yeah, fat lotta good that seems to do." Sanji really didn't feel like arguing right now, though talking about it might be better than just leaving it.

"But then you'll be mad at each other and you shouldn't be mad at each other! Think of the baby!" In his own way, Luffy could be quite manipulative sometimes. Whether he knew he was actually doing it or not.

"Don't pull that shitty guilt trip stunt with me. We'll be mad if we talk and mad if we don't." He needed a drink, "Alright. Fine. I'll go talk to him." Sanji stood from the table and started to talk away, "If you think I'm leaving you alone in here you're sadly mistaken. Get out before I kick you out."

Luffy whined childishly but hopped up and sauntered out, moving off in another direction, though close enough that he could watch the show.

"Oi, Zoro," Sanji kept his voice down so there wasn't a chance someone could overhear them. "We need to talk...again."

Zoro turned to look at the cook and sighed, turning around. "What about now?"

"You wanna do this out here or in there?" He gesticulated to the galley's open door.

"Here is fine." Maybe if they did it where others could see them, then at least there wouldn't be too big of a scene.

"...Alright," Sanji awkwardly adjusted his tie, "why'd you push me away earlier."

"You've been doting over the kid for like weeks," Zoro growled quietly, "it's really starting to get out of hand. I mean," he sighed and looked around, lowering his voice again, "I don't mind it once a day, even twice a day. But seriously... Not every chance you get."

Sanji sighed; Zoro had a point. If it'd been him, he wouldn't have tolerated it hardly half as much as Zoro did. "Alright," he begrudgingly conceded, "I'll cut back, but please," he placed his fingertips against the swell, "don't take it away from me...it's not fair..."

Zoro almost wanted to yank back, but didn't. "Yeah. You can still do it, but tone it down a bit. Try maybe not seeming obsessed." He rolled his eyes and sighed, head tilting back. Frustrating. He did feel better, though.

Sanji withdrew his hand, "I'm not obsessed." He frowned, a tick forming on his forehead.

"Then when we're alone do something other than talk to the kid," Zoro snorted, rolling his eyes. He looked down at his stomach, looking thoughtful. "Think it can even hear us talking?"

"Well, from what I've read they don't start hearing till they're about 20 weeks old..." He frowned, "So probably not, but it will someday, and I'm sure that..." Sanji back tracked a moment, "Wait, you want to...do other things when we're alone?"

"Not really. What, did you have something you wanted to do?" Zoro asked, tilting his head slightly. He could only really think of sex rather than much else. For them there wasn't really much else to do, really.

"No, but you said...ah forget it." Sanji turned and started to walk away. He was quite done with talking to Zoro. He wanted to end the conversation on a good note.

Zoro watched Sanji walk away and shrugged, then went back to his weights, feeling a lot better now that they had talked.


	8. Deceived

This time when they disembarked, the climate was a little more tolerable than the last, though the people were all trained killers, experts in the art of assassination. Even the kids were a handful and could kill lesser pirates. Needless to say, it wasn't a surprise that the marines would have to come and check this out once in a while. Which is why the situation now had become so awkward. The Strawhats were barely 100 feet away from a unit of marines led by a purple-haired swordsman.

Zoro wanted to hide. Or at least be out of sight of the other ship. He didn't feel like he should be seeing Saga right then. Or ever again. Or until the kid died. Or just never. Never sounded good. Yeah, never.

Sanji felt much the same way. He had hoped that the next time they saw that guy it would be long after the kid had been born and after they'd sorted everything out with the crew. It was like that katana wielding bastard had planned this. He went to find Zoro; this was absolutely not good.

Zoro was staying out of direct sight, not wanting to be seen by the other ship. He turned and frowned when he saw Sanji coming towards him. "What do you want?"

Sanji didn't feel like beating round the bush and got straight to the point. "What if someone spills to Saga about the kid." He hid along with Zoro, not wanting to be caught either.

"I don't know, but they sure as hell shouldn't. He shouldn't know." Zoro shook his head with a groan. "I don't want to see him."

"You sound like such a..." He couldn't say woman; that'd be rude to women everywhere, "...you sound like a..." He didn't want to insult his child by insinuating Zoro sounded like a baby. It was difficult being a gentleman. "Quit being such a wimp. They're gonna think something's wrong if you avoid him. He's supposed to be the father of your child."

"But he's not!" Zoro hissed, glaring. "I can't do this, okay...? I think I'll just hide in the galley."

"Alright, hide now if you want, Marimo, but we both know it won't last." Sanji turned away and left, as if he hadn't just been speaking to someone.

Zoro sighed and decided to hide out below deck while the rest of the crew went ahead and did their thing.

“Haa, he’s riding on one interesting looking ship.” Saga had ditched his unit and gone to check out the Thousand Sunny. “So this is your new home, huh? Never thought I’d see it so soon.” He wanted to climb aboard, but he also didn’t want to intrude...

His attention was diverted when he saw a skeleton leap from the ship, startling the man considerably.

"Yohohoho~ Welcome, welcome~!" Brooke greeted, doing his spins and tipping his hat, then doing a bow. "Be greeted by our humble crew~"

"A-Ahh..." Saga had never seen this...man before. "I'm Saga, a friend of Zoro's." He hesitantly extended his hand. The skeleton seemed friendly enough, kinda creepy though.

"Yohoho~ Well, come aboard~!" Brooke bowed and made a hand gesture. "I believe Zoro-san is somewhere under the deck~"

"Ah, thank you. I'd like to see him, if that's alright." Saga smiled. He hoped that there'd be a chance they could talk, and maybe hook up again.

"Yohohoho~ Come with me!" With that, Brooke spun away and led Saga down to the brig, where Zoro was pacing in the men's quarters. "Yohoho~ Zoro-san~ This man says he knows you!"

Zoro looked up, feeling rather flustered. He had a jacket on, zipped up so it would hide his abdomen.

“Hey Zoro.” Saga smiled, “I really didn’t expect to meet up with you guys again so soon.” He threw an arm around Zoro’s shoulders, “How’ve you been?”

Zoro wasn't entirely comfortable, but he just decided to try and play it cool. "Yeah, it's good to see you... It's been good. I suppose. Stressful."

"Oh?" He looked over at his friend, worried. "Come on," he pulled Zoro away from his friends. "What's going on? I don't think I've ever seen you stressed out before?"

Zoro sighed and shook his head. "It doesn't matter- nothing you have to be concerned with." Of course, if he was fronting the pregnancy with Saga as the father he should probably know. Even if he wasn't really the father.

“Zoro, we’ve been friends for ages. You know you can tell me anything. I’ve never seen you stressed out over anything before.” Saga chuckled a bit, “Nothing ever fazed you.”

"It's a big deal this time," Zoro sighed, crossing his arms. "I don't really feel like talking about it."

"Here, allow me to tell you what went down on that day we happened across G-5." Usopp was leaning dramatically, hat over his eyes. He hadn't seen who their company was, but he now had a new audience to share his story. "Our swordsman was overcome by the Vice Admiral's charm and they were thrown into a scandalous love affair. After sharing a passionate night, Zoro found he was pregnant with Smoker's children. And now, abandoned, heartbroken, he'll have to raise the 4 children on his own—" Usopp looked up and was surprised to see that their guest had been Saga, the real father of the children. His eyes slid over to Zoro's murderous face. "AHH~ WELL. I think I'll head to the island now. S-SEE YA!" Usopp practically teleported off the ship he moved so fast.

"Hurk-" Zoro's eyes nearly bugged out of his head. He swiftly turned to Saga. "That's not true!" His face was slightly red, though he knew Saga would probably be able to tell something was wrong.

Saga blinked for a moment, not expecting that at all. “Haha, well, I hadn’t thought so.” He turned to look at Zoro slowly, trying to fit the pieces together. He had a lot of questions to ask Zoro.

"So...you're saying...that you're pregnant with my child?" Zoro had told him about Ivankov and about the pregnancy, Saga listening intently.

"Yeah. Yeah, I am." Zoro sighed and closed his eyes. "I didn't want to tell you."

Saga sighed, "I can understand why." He gave Zoro a long look. "Can I see your stomach?"

Zoro sighed and tugged the jacket off, showing off the small baby bump and crossing his arms. "Go ahead." He really hoped Sanji wouldn't turn up to say something...

Saga kneeled down and put his hands on the belly. When he felt a gentle kick he smiled. He was so enthralled by the thought that he had put those kids there that he didn't hear the sound of dress shoes walking past, nor did he smell the scent of cigarette smoke that wafted past.

"I'm heading out. You're in charge of watching the ship, Marimo."

Zoro looked over, slightly surprised and looked slightly apologetic. When Sanji left he sighed and closed his eyes. "Hey, uh...when do you think you're going to leave?"

"What, want me gone that badly?" He chuckled before standing up. "I was hoping we could spend some time together."

Zoro pursed his lips and took a deep breath. "Yeah, sure. What did you want to do?"

Saga grinned, reaching forward and rubbing his hands over Zoro's hip. "There a room we could go to?"

Zoro frowned and nodded. "Yeah... I don't think the girls would mind if we borrowed their room." Zoro waved for Saga to follow and lead them to the girls' quarters, then locked the door behind them. "What is it?"

Saga leaned forward and pressed his lips to Zoro's for a moment before pulling back, "I won't be able to father it, you know that right? Our paths are going to take us in different directions." He ran his hands over Zoro's body, putting his lips to Zoro's neck.

"It's no problem, s’already been decided the entire crew is gonna raise it." Zoro shrugged, fairly indifferent to Saga's advances for the most part.

"That's good." Saga continued for a moment, but he could tell Zoro wasn't into it. "What's wrong?"

Zoro shrugged. "I don't feel like it." He'd actually felt like sex was far too unneeded lately. And he and Sanji hadn't done anything in weeks, which he was just fine with.

"Ahh, bummer. And I was looking forward to it too." Saga admitted sheepishly. "Alright, I know when I'm not wanted." Saga pulled away, "I'll go now." His smile was a little sad as he patted Zoro's shoulder, "Take good care of 'em for me."

"Yeah, I will." Zoro sighed and followed Saga out, but split off from him, instead going to find Sanji.

Sanji was walking, very carefully, through the market. He'd knocked away several of his attackers with ease, making it clear to the town of violent warriors that he was not one to be trifled with. He was examining the fruits and veggies, feeling not at all bothered by seeing Saga and Zoro. Nope, not the least bit bothered with seeing the bastard with his hands on Zoro's stomach. Not in the least. He really wasn't bothered. Obviously.

Zoro didn't get off the ship and leaned against the railing, lips pursed as he waited for Sanji to come back- hopefully to talk to him about what had just happened. He didn't want any bad blood between them.

Sanji prolonged returning to the ship as long as he could, obviously it wasn't because he was bothered, because he wasn't, but when he did he went straight to the galley, not saying a word to anyone.

Zoro frowned, then quickly followed after Sanji. "Sanji- we should talk. I need to talk to you about Saga."

"Can it wait? I've got a complicated menu tonight and I really need complete concentration for it. If you really feel the need to, we'll talk after dinner, alright?" Not bothered, not bothered, not bothered.

Zoro groaned and rubbed at his temple. "Sure. After dinner." He shook his head and turned, leaving Sanji alone. He didn't want to make things even worse.

After dinner was over, Sanji kept to his word. He'd been getting more and more tense as the meal wore on, but he figured he'd hid it pretty well.

Zoro waited for everyone to leave before he got up and turned to Sanji. "We should talk."

"Why? I'm not bothered by earlier, if that's what you're thinking." He was washing dishes as they talked, back to the room.

"You're bothered. I can tell," Zoro growled, pursing his lips. "What's bothering you? That Saga was all over my stomach? It's not his kid."

"He thinks it is, and everyone else thinks it is. What's the difference?" He placed a plate on the clean pile. "And I told you I'm not bothered. Why think otherwise?"

"You just washed the same dish three times while talking to me." Zoro sighed and got to his feet. "We'll probably not see him again...for a long time."

Sanji stared at the plate. Had he really done that? How embarrassing. "...If we're not going to see him, why not tell him the truth? It's not like he was going to talk to anyone about it."

Zoro looked down, obviously guilty. "If we see him again, do you want me to tell him?"

"Unless he's disembarked already he won't find out until it's born. If you really wanted him to know you'd have to go now." Sanji made sure to pick up a dirty dish this time. "Do what you want, I don't care."

"You do care."

Sanji sighed. He didn't feel like lying anymore. "You want the truth? Fine. You're right. I do care. It just about killed me seeing the two of you together."

"Fine, you can be the only one who gets to feel my stomach. And he can know. The next time we see him I'll tell him," Zoro promised.

"I don't care if Nami-san, Robin-chan, or anyone else feels your stomach." He put the dish down and turned around. "It's the fact that he thinks that that's his child and...I don't know."

"Then I'll fucking tell him, okay? He can know the truth the next time I see him- or if you want I can start swimming towards his boat right now and tell him now," Zoro growled, feeling a bit annoyed on that.

"Don't worry about it! God, this isn't that big of a deal. It wasn't anything that needed talking about. It was my dumb...thoughts and shit and it's really nothing I won't get over. Like you said, we won't see him for a while so it really doesn't matter."

"It matters to you." Zoro hated seeing Sanji to wrapped up in one thing.

Sanji's shoulders slumped and his hand ran through his bangs. Where did the Marimo get off being so thoughtful; threw Sanji for a loop. "Well, thanks for your concern. Don't worry about it, I'll get over it..."

"Sure..." Zoro sighed and got up. "Anything else...? Need anything?"

Sanji's eyes glanced towards the bump, "No, you can go."

Zoro noticed the glance and approached the cook. "Want to get one last feel in before bed, shit cook?"

"You don't mind?"

"No, go ahead. Just don't go overboard." Zoro managed a smile and leaned against the counter.

Sanji kneeled down in front of Zoro, smiling a little. He placed his hands on the gentle bulge. "Your Daddy was stupid today. He said someone else was your Papa." He nuzzled his nose against' Zoro's stomach. "But it's okay, cause I love you more." He wrapped his arms around Zoro's waist and hugged the body close, face buried in Zoro's stomach. Whatever he said next was too muffled to hear.

Zoro rolled his eyes but let Sanji have his moment. He would start limiting how much Sanji did it a day, but for now he was going to let him do what he wanted.

Sanji looked up at Zoro, smiling a bit. "Thanks. I needed this."

"Yeah, whatever. I'll be in bed, alright?" Zoro smiled and brushed past the other, going over down to the men's quarters and picking out a hammock. Chopper had told him not to, as it wouldn't help with his back, but he felt more comfortable, after such an uncomfortable day.


	9. Undone

Zoro was leaning against the mast on his back, sighing every once in a while. The weather was nice, if not a bit breezy. He was sure the weather would change quickly, most likely towards a fall or a winter island. He patted his stomach, which growled a bit. Dammit, that kid ate like Luffy. He had to eat two breakfasts these days. And he was definitely showing more. Not so much...outwards, more just...bigger.

"Oi, Marimo. Special delivery." Sanji lowered a thick, white shake with green flecks in it. "Drink it. It's good for you."

Zoro snorted, rather surprised at the sudden...appearance of Sanji. He looked to the drink, then reached out and took it. "Al...right." He started sucking on the straw. It was good. Minty almost. "Any reason?"

"It's loaded with essentials." He lowered his voice, "Gotta make sure the baby's as healthy as can be." He stood up and quickly walked away before Luffy noticed and demanded something as well.

"Whatever," Zoro muttered, sucking at the straw until there was nothing left, and then leaned back with a sigh, thankfully full now. Or at least not hungry; instead just relaxing. The kid seemed to be settling down. Oddly enough he hadn't been having many cravings. Just the need for food.

Like clockwork, Sanji was there almost every time Zoro was hungry, as if he could sense when the Marimo needed something. Naturally, the rest of the crew was getting suspicious with the doting attention.

Zoro was getting suspicious too. Honestly he didn't know what to do beside take every treat that Sanji offered him. He really hoped the rest of the crew would just think that he was trying to help the baby. The next time Sanji brought him something, he stopped him. "What the hell are you doing, bringing me all this shit?"

Sanji blinked, like he was the one who was confused. “You’re not hungry?” He could’ve sworn that Zoro’s cravings should’ve started up by now. He was only trying to help. “They’re good though, right? Can’t even taste the added nutrients, right?”

"No, it's all fine, it tastes great, but why are you bringing it to me?" Zoro sighed, tilting his head and stretching. "It's nice, but I really don't need it." But it was nice. Maybe he did like it.

Sanji frowned, “Alright. I’ll stop.” He was a little hurt that the only way he could help was being denied, but he had to admit...he was acting a little...unusual...but he...enjoyed it? He couldn’t help but wonder what had gotten into him.

"No- wait, I mean... I don't want you to stop- I just...why?" Zoro didn't want Sanji to get butthurt over it, but he did want to know why.

“I...uh...hmm...” Sanji thought about that for a moment. “I guess I just feel like I should.”

"Oh. Well...if the crew asks questions you're the one who gets to tell them the answers," Zoro growled, closing his eyes. "Clear?"

"Yes, sir." Sanji snarked, "Do you still want this?" The snack had yet to be eaten, and Sanji didn't want it to go to waste.

"Mhm, yes." Zoro reached out and snatched the snack, already starting to nibble on the it, rather content to just sit around. He groaned as the baby started kicking. "Damn kid. Thing never stops moving when I'm laying down and trying to sleep and when I'm moving around it never makes a fuss."

"Maybe it doesn't agree with your sluggish style. Takes after me." He smirked before quickly checking to make sure no one had heard. He was lucky. "You need the plate? If not I'll take it."

Zoro shook his head and held the plate out as he finished the snack. "Thanks, shit cook." He looked around and noticed no one was around, then smiled and patted his stomach. "Wanna go ahead and feel?"

Sanji smiled and crouched down, crawling between Zoro's legs. "This some sort of payment?" He joked as he put his hands to Zoro's stomach, feeling the baby. "You're a real kicker, aren't you? Papa's so proud~" He kissed rounded belly. "Do you like the food I make you? I'll teach you everything once you're big enough."

Zoro rolled his eyes and leaned back, arms folded behind his back. "Kid's a natural kickboxer," he joked, smiling down at the cook. "This is all you get for a few more hours."

“Alright.” Sanji left one more kiss to the stomach before looking up at Zoro. He leaned in a bit before biting his lip and pulling back again, moving to stand up. “Lunch’ll be ready in a little over an hour.”

Zoro nodded and smiled. "I'll be here." He sighed and kicked back with a soft sigh. It was nice to relax. Even better when Sanji was waiting on him hand and foot, practically.

"It's nice, isn't it, having Sanji-kun wait on you." The redheaded navigator popped up from the other side of the mast where Zoro was resting comfortably.

Zoro opened his good eye with a frown. "Mm. Yeah, it is nice. Not feeling particularly active today. It's nice to not have him trying to kick me at every turn, too."

"And you get the added bonus of next to no fawning. Lucky~" She was teasing him a bit; she couldn't help it. Sanji and Zoro's 'relationship' intrigued her to no end.

Zoro shrugged. "It's a lot nicer just to have him do it a lot less. It's actually kinda cute when he does." Zoro started cleaning out his ear with his little finger and shrugged again. "Whatever, as long as he's not following me like a lost puppy, just looking for a moment alone to talk to the kid."

"You know, sometimes, mothers get jealous of their own children when their husbands pay more attention to the baby than themselves." Granted, it was more common for it to happen the other way around, but Nami felt no reason to mention that. "How do you really feel about Sanji-kun?"

Zoro frowned and looked up at Nami, making a face. "Why would I be jealous that Sanji is paying attention to the kid? I really don't care. As long as he's not being annoying, it's fine by me."

"Hmm~ but you just said he was cute!" Nami pouted; she wanted their relationship to progress. Mostly for the sake of her BL fan side, if she was honest with herself. In reality, they’d probably make a disastrous couple

"Yeah, if I don't have to see him all the time," Zoro snorted. He yawned and ruffled his hair. "Mm, why do you care?"

"Well, he _is_ the father of your child. It’s usual for parents to feel some level of attraction towards each other. If not, the baby probably wouldn't have happened in the first place."

Zoro shrugged. "It's always just been sex. Quick fucks in the kitchen or someplace." He sighed and yawned again. "The kid happened, and it's a big deal sure, but I'm not worried." In fact, if they pulled it off well enough, the kid wouldn't even know who was it's real parent.

"Is Sanji-kun okay with that?" Sanji was a family man by nature, a pervert sure, but...something didn't seem quite right, but Nami knew she wouldn't answers from this dolt. "Whatever..." She turned and walked away, going over to Robin who was tending to their little garden.

"He hasn't said anything else." Zoro shrugged and rolled his eyes as Nami walked away, but just leaned back again. It was time to take the nap he had previously talked about.

**o()o()o**

That idiot. That stupid, mother fucking, marimo moron! If only he'd listened for just once, Sanji wouldn't be diving into the ocean. It all started when those bastards had surrounded their ship...

Zoro had been told not to fight, but he would be fucking damned if he didn't get off his ass after days of doing nothing nothing and stretching out his swords. They were restless, he needed to do somethign about it. And he may or may not have taken a bad step, gotten hit by a bad slash and rolled over the railing.

Unfortunately, with practically half their crew being completely useless under water, Sanji was the one that’d have to save him. Franky had warned them that he was preparing a coup de burst to get away. They didn’t want enemies while Zoro was in such a critical condition. Sanji was scanning the water, currents fast and violent. He was afraid that Zoro may have been sucked down. This wouldn’t be like that time in the bubble; this time, if they went too deep, they were screwed.

Zoro found it incredibly hard to stay above the water, but he did manage it enough to be able to breathe. Every now and then a wave would wash over him, making it even harder to breathe, swallowing far too much water to be healthy.

An arm wrapped around Zoro's chest, pulling him towards the surface and up out of the water onto the deck of the Sunny. "You're a fucking moron, you know that?" Sanji berated once he got enough air in his lungs to do so.

Zoro coughed up plenty of water enough for an aquarium, rolling onto his side with a groan. He was dizzy and sick. "Fuck you," he spat, despite knowing he should tell Sanji that he was thankful... But he didn't care.

Sanji pulled away Zoro's clothes. He was no Chopper, but he could assess a situation. He noticed brusing towards the bottom of Zoro's bump. "Zoro, Zoro, you've got internal bleeding." Sanji was quickly panicking, "Zoro, I know you'll be fine, but I don't want our baby to die. We have to find Chopper. Now."

"God, fuck- just fucking get me up!" Zoro snapped, struggling to sit up, then clutching his abdomen with the pain.

Sanji did more than just help him up. He scooped Zoro up in his arms and called out to anyone that could hear him. He finally spotted Usopp. "USOPP!" He shouted, trying to get his voice to reach the deck of the other ship. "SEND UP THE FLARE! NOW!" Usopp did what he was told, a pillar of red sparks flew up into the air, and all the strawhats quickly worked on getting back to the ship.

Zoro  _really_ didn't like being carried, he even struggled a bit, until it started to get too painful. Chopper found them within moments, taking one look at Zoro and then yanking both of them towards the infirmary. "What happened?"

“I didn’t see anything, I just heard Robin call for me. She was the one who saw Zoro go overboard. I had to fish him out of the ocean. He coughed up a lot of water.

Shut the fuck up-" Zoro snapped as he was laid down in the infirmary before he started coughing and cringing. "Shit- j-just fucking make it better, Chopper..."

Chopper looked like he wanted to freak out, but this was no time to freak out. He immediately started evaluating Zoro's condition, which wasn't too bad for Zoro, but definitely posed a threat to the baby.

Sanji was pacing back and forth as he watched Chopper work. "The baby'll be fine, won't it Chopper?" Sanji couldn't help asking. He'd hadn't felt this worried in a long time.

"Issha! Shut up, I'm working!" Chopper had to put Zoro under sedation then start doing his work, since he was moving too much. And after tireless treating and medication and bandages and fluids, Chopper finally took a seat and took a deep breath, almost collapsing.

"Now am I allowed to ask?" Sanji had brought Chopper a refreshing drink as a sort of gratitude. "How's the baby doing. Is it alright?"

Chopper gratefully took the drink and started gulping it down. "It'll be alright," he said with a nod. "But Zoro can't do anything stressful! At all!" Chopper was wondering why Sanji was so concerned, of course, Chopper was concerned as well.

"It should've been that way from the start." Sanji ground out a tick on his forehead forming as he ground his teeth. "How does he think the father of that child would feel to know that it was his stupid ass decisions that nearly killed his child." Sanji stormed out, fury building in his system. If he'd stayed there another moment, he would've kicked Zoro's stupid face in.

Chopper was about to ask why Sanji seemed to emotionally involved, but just went back to keeping track of Zoro's condition, minding his own business.

After a few hours, Zoro was awake and drinking fluids on his own. Chopper refused to let him get up, so much that he had to strap Zoro to the bed for a couple hours before he could be released, but still confined to bed. Then, Chopper gladly announced that Zoro was going to make a full recovery, and so would the baby, but didn't want too many people coming to see him in case it caused too much stretch. Just him for medical checkups and Sanji to bring in food.

Sanji had been tempted to kick open the door, but he remembered Chopper's orders. He opened the door and placed the bowl on the table. "Soup." He announced before turning to leave.

Zoro groaned and opened his good eye with a sigh. He looked over at the soup and tried to sit up, hissing in pain as he moved too quickly, then reached over for the soup to start eating, ignoring Sanji's curt leave.

Sanji stopped at the door and turned to Chopper who was writing something down and looking over one of his medical books. "How's the baby doing?" He asked again.

Chopper looked up and smiled wide. "It's doing fine! Nothing bad happened to it, actually, it was just Zoro." Which was a great relief! "But Zoro shouldn't be doing anything for at least a couple more days."

Sanji turned his head and glared over at Zoro. "If he'd listened in the first place he wouldn't be in this position." He huffed, "Always thinking of himself."

Zoro glanced up with a glare of his own. "Shut up, shit cook, like the crew could handle that by themselves."

"Hey!" Chopper shouted, stomping on his chair to get their attention. "No fighting! Or else!" 

The reindeer went unheard, "And obviously you couldn't. That's not just your baby, asshole. Someone else cares

"Like you fucking care," Zoro snapped, flipping Sanji the bird and pushing himself up straighter with a hiss of pain. "Go fuck yourse-"

"ISSHA!" Chopper jumped between them and started battering Sanji's chest. "Get out! You're stressing him out too much! Out! Out! Out!"

"I wouldn't be so pissed if I didn't care, idiot!" Sanji turned away from the tiny reindeer. "Alright I'm leaving. Bastard ain't worth my time." Sanji slammed the door, the angry tromp of his boots fading as he left.

Chopper then proceeded to throw a fit at Zoro, telling him it was too dangerous to be arguing with anyone and then giving him his medicine before he left him to himself.


	10. Pained

Sanji was pissed, to put it simply. However, more pressing than any of the other complicated thoughts and emotions he was trying to hide was a massive feeling of hurt. Zoro didn’t seem to give a rat’s ass that he’d almost had their child killed. Sanji felt that Zoro didn’t deserve to get angry. He knew how much Sanji loved their child; how could he let harm come to it?

Zoro was tapping his fingers in the infirmary, eager to get out, because it wasn't that bad. Chopper was just paranoid. He was pissed too, but he was handling it quietly. Mostly. He was pissed because Sanji actually thought he didn't give a damn, and that he had almost killed the kid. Almost being key word, they should be being thankful that they _didn't_.

Chopper had even banned Sanji from the infirmary, making sure it was always someone else who brought him his food. The last time Sanji had been allowed in, the stress had made Zoro start bleeding again. Sanji had been horrified afterwards, but at the moment he’d been too angry to take notice.

When Zoro first walked into the kitchen, tension was immediately drawn tight between the two and the crew could feel every spark that flew between them. Sanji had been presenting Robin with her meal when Zoro walked in, and he had to be extra careful not to slam down her plate. “What do you want?”

"I came to get some food, what do you think I want?" Zoro snorted, gingerly taking his seat. "Don't appreciate that tone."

"Like I care whether you appreciate my tone. I don't want to see your ugly marimo mug. Take a plate and leave or I will." He was pouring himself a tall glass of wine before downing it. He needed all the help he could get to calm his nerves.

Zoro frowned and took his plate, but he didn't leave. He shouldn't have to leave, just because Sanji was having a bitchfit.

Sanji squeezed his glass until it shattered, cutting his hand, blood dripping down his arm. “You have absolutely no consideration for me, do you?”

Zoro looked up from his food with a stoic look, rather neutral. Most of the crew was trying to keep up their quiet conversations amongst themselves, but it was growing alarmingly apparent how stressful it was between Sanji and Zoro.

Sanji stormed over and slammed his hands down on the table, his hand splattering blood on the surface of the table, getting right in Zoro’s face. “What the _fuck_ do you take me for! Why don’t you care that you almost killed the child!”

Zoro looked a little surprised and more than just defensive. "Don't yell at me, shitty asshole! It's not my fault I got thrown overboard! Stop taking everything so damn personal! You know, if you hadn't dodged that stupid transvestite's attack, then none of this would have happened!"

“We ALL told you not to go and fight. We told you what could happen! But you disregarded all of that just so you could satisfy your sick bloodlust!” Sanji wanted to hit him so badly. “And what, now you’re blaming me for your getting knocked up? What, was I supposed to let him turn me into a woman?”

Zoro took a punch to Sanji's face, making him fall back. "Shut the fuck up! If you had kept it in your pants this would have never happened!" That had revealed quite a lot more than he thought it would, though he didn't really care, he was too angry at how many of the crew gave them surprised looks.

Sanji stood up, brushed off his suit, and punched Zoro right back with his bloodied hand; hurt like hell, but it was worth it. “Don’t you dare blame it all on me! You couldn’t possibly expect me to know this would happen! I love that child more than you EVER have!” Sanji turned and looked at all of the startled faces in the room, “God dammit, that baby is mine, alright! Cat’s out of the mother fucking bag! That’s my kid! And he almost killed it! He won’t even let me be the kids god damned FATHER!” He looked around the room, taking in each of the startled, bewildered looks before stomping out, kicking the doorframe on his way out.

Zoro groaned and thumped his head against the table. Absolutely fucking wonderful. He knew the crew wouldn't care, he had just thought Sanji would care. Did Sanji even care anymore? He sighed and rested his head in his arms, ignoring the other crewmembers trying to console him. He didn't want to hear from them. Instead he got up and followed Sanji out.

"Sanji, we need to talk," he said as he found him.

“No, fuck you, I’m done talking.” Sanji flicked the stub over the side of the boat and walked away, quickly walked away. What was that Marimo thinking, there was no way he’d want to talk now.

"Dammit, Sanji, fucking talk to me!" Zoro shouted angrily, "you're fucking running, and I don't like it! At least fucking let's _try_ to solve this! Otherwise the kid is gonna think its parents hate each other!"

Sanji wheeled around, getting right in Zoro’s face again. He was about ready to kill the bastard, whether he was carrying his child or not. “Then the kid knows the truth.” He narrowed his eyes even further before turning away. “I’m not gonna talk to you, so quit fucking following me.”

"I'm trying to make things better!" Zoro spat, shaking with anger. "Fine! But don't expect the kid to know it was you anyway! I was fucking willing to let you be the kid's father, but now you just blew every fucking chance you had!" With that, he stomped off to the exact opposite end of the ship, intending not to see Sanji for quite a while.

“HA! First I’ve heard of it you bastard Marimo!” Sanji shouted at the retreating back. He stormed to the bathroom, turning on the water and stripping down. He needed to relax, badly. He was so angry he was close to tears. When he didn’t want to out their secret, he wasn’t allowed to be the father. When he _did_ expose their secret, he was denied. How was that fair?

Zoro sat up against a minor mast and crossed his legs with a sigh. This was getting too fucked up, and he wanted the kid to know who its parents were too, but he wasn't sure if he could stand Sanji like this. First he didn't want to out their secret, then he wanted to be the father, then he blurts it out, it was just one big vicious cycle of confusion and pain.

“Um, Zoro?” Nami called gently, keeping her distance. “Are...you okay?” She was really worried, more than she’d been throughout this whole incident.

"You should go be asking Sanji that," Zoro muttered, head in his hands.

"Luffy went to talk to him." She approached him, crouching down in front of him. "Zoro, I'm worried."

"Don't be, everything's just peachy, as you can see," Zoro snapped, scowling. He took a deep breath and shook his head. "Sorry for snapping. This is just so fucking stupid and stressful."

"Well, to be frank it didn't have to be." Nami sighed, "We heard everything that you guys were shouting about. Zoro, Sanji-kun may have been wrong in the past, but this time..."

"I only denied him once because I thought he didn't want anyone knowing," Zoro snapped, "if he had said he didn't care if people knew, I wouldn't have denied him."

"Well, he's told everyone now. Why deny him again?"

Lips thinning, Zoro shook his head. "Because he's a dick." He had tried to talk it out, and Sanji had refused.

"Well, you're not exactly faultless." Nami frowned, quirking an eyebrow. "What were you thinking, going into battle in your condition."

"I though I could help." Zoro crossed his arms with a growl. "Can you blame me for wanting to help? I was sitting on my ass- still am- for a week, I wanted to do something to help."

"And you almost got your baby killed! Jesus, Zoro do you not understand how serious that was? It's a miracle the baby didn't die!"

"Yes I fucking understand it!" Zoro shouted as he got to his feet and started pacing, "I know how fucking serious it was- is! And if it had died it would have been my fault, and I would be a terrible person and- fuck, I just don't know what to do! I want to be useful, I don't want to just sit here with my thumb up my ass until the kid is born- and even then I'm not going to be able to get right back to where I was before! I want everything to go back to normal!"

“It’s not about whether or not you want to, Zoro! I know you hate it, but it’s how it has to be! And you can be useful by not being so stubborn and taking care of that baby. It relies completely on you to survive and will continue to do so even after it’s born.” Nami was standing by now with her hands on her hips. “It’s not fair to that baby for you to put it’s life on the line just because you wanted to ‘be useful.’ Getting your ass knocked off the ship and into the ocean is far from useful. Creating this unnecessary tension within the crew is not. _useful!_ This aren’t going to go back to normal just because you want them to!” Nami turned away from Zoro. She said what she had to. It was up to Zoro to do with her advice as he would.

Zoro frowned and leaned against the railing, resting his head in his arms. Nami was right, but he didn't want to be useless. He wanted to be useful, but he didn't want the baby to die. This was one big mess that he didn't know how to clear up.

Sanji was pink and wrinkled by the time he finally got out of the bath. He looked at himself and sighed. he ran a hand though his hair, trying to put himself together a bit before getting dressed.

Luffy was waiting outside of the bathroom for Sanji, swaying childishly, though he looked incredibly concerned. There was nothing childish about this.

Sanji opened the door and was more than a little surprised to see his captain standing outside the bathroom. He frowned, "Luffy, I'm really not in the mood to talk right now."

"No! You have to talk! Why are you and Zoro so mad at each other?" Luffy demanded, not bothered by the fact that Sanji had just come from the bath.

"Why do you think we're mad at each other, Luffy." Sanji walked past Luffy, not intending to avoid him, but he wanted to get a fresh pair of clothes. His sleeve had been stained with the blood from earlier.

"It doesn't matter what I think! Go make up with Zoro!"

"I'm done with that bastard. I want nothing to do with him." Sanji headed into the boys room and over to where he stored his clothes, pulling out a fresh shirt.

Luffy still followed. "Go make up with Zoro!" he repeated, hopping impatiently, "go make up with Zoro, go make up with Zoro! Captain's orders! Do it!"

“Luffy, keep your rubbery nose out of my damned business. I’ve tried talking to Zoro, and obviously it doesn’t work. No matter what I do, I get screwed over for it.” He shrugged his shirt on and buttoned it up.

"Go talk to him again!" Luffy whined, hands clenching into fists. He didn't want his crew so divided.

"Why? So-So I can stand there and listen to how this is all my fault?" His eyes were starting to turn red and they stung. "So I can hear how even though I confessed to being involved with him, that I'm not allowed to be my baby's father?" Sanji's voice cracked as his voice raised. He was tired, he was frustrated, and he was hurt. "I'm not going through that again!"

"Then go make Zoro promise the let you be the baby's dad!" Luffy was getting far too frustrated. "Or I will!"

"THEN GO!" The tears broke through and they started falling down his reddened face. "I am done, Luffy." His voice broke and warbled  as he tried not to cry. "I'm. Done."

"No! You need to do it!" Luffy was probably confusing; hell, he was confusing himself, but he needed this to be fixed. He needed Sanji and Zoro to make up, because he wasn't about to lose his Nakama.

Sanji crumpled to the ground, trying to keep from shaking. "Please...just let me be by myself...please..."

Luffy backed away slightly and looked down, then left silently, leaving Sanji to himself. He was fearing for the crew. He was fearing for his Nakama. He wanted everything to go back to normal.

As soon as the door closed Sanji broke down, sobbing into his arms. Things had been going well for a while. He and Zoro had felt like...not a couple, but...they'd...they were happy, and Sanji felt that Zoro had ruined all of that.

Sturdy shoes clunked across the wooden deck of the ship, making their way to the swordsman. They stopped about 10 feet away, indecisive on what to do next.

Zoro glanced over but did nothing else, looking out over the ocean again. If Sanji wanted to talk, then it was his choice. He wasn't going to push things anymore.

When he realized he wasn’t going to get a sword through his stomach, Sanji approached. “Thought you’d be cold.” He kneeled down and wrapped an extra wool blanket around Zoro before standing up and turning to leave. If it was bad enough that Zoro even refused to sleep in the same room as him, he figured he could try and show Zoro could be forgiven.

Zoro looked after the cook and sighed. "Hey," he called out soft, "hey, will...will you come sit with me? For just a little while?" He didn't want to be alone.

Sanji grit his teeth and summoned his patience. He walked back over and plunked himself down on the other side of the mast. He could talk to Zoro, but he certainly didn’t have to look at him.

Zoro sighed, noticing the great space between them. "You don't have to forgive me. I was just being a dick because...because I could. I have no right to keep you from being the kid's dad. And I'm a fucking idiot."

Sanji was silent for a moment before he got up and went around to squat in front of Zoro. "So I can take that as an apology, I'm guessing." Smoke curled up from the glowing tip of his cigarette as Sanji inhaled.

"Yeah, whatever." Zoro made a face and looked away. "I just don't want everything to go to shit far beyond repair. because as much as I don't want to, your ass and my ass are pretty much stuck together forever."

Sanji's mouth quirked into a slight grin. "And that sounded remarkably similar to a proposal." He tilted his head, trying to get Zoro to look at him. "You sure that rumor about us eloping didn't come from you?"

"You sure my foot isn't going to end up in your ass?"

Sanji leaned in and pressed a kiss to Zoro's cheek. "Thank you, Zoro. That means more to me than I think you realize."

Zoro grunted in acknowledgement, cheeks slightly red. "Yeah, whatever. Can we just forget all this drama never happened now?"

"I'm that baby's Papa right?" He looked at Zoro's stomach, "And now everyone else knows it too."

"Yup." Zoro nodded and leaned back with a sigh. "But you still can't fawn over my stomach every second you can. ...But you can do it now."

"Are you sure that's alright?" He really wanted to, but he still wasn't sure...

"I just said it was, didn't it? Christ, did I fuckin' stutter?"

"No need to get huffy." Sanji pulled back the blankets and pulled them over the both of them, laying his head on Zoro's stomach. "You're okay, baby. Papa loves you." He rubbed his hand over the bulge, smiling a bit. It'd gotten bigger.

Zoro smiled and sighed, stomach rising with his breathing, the baby kicking a little. Well, as long as this just wrapped up... He needed it to end, so that everything could at least get somewhat back to normal.

Sanji was starting to fall asleep as he mumbled sweet nothings to the baby. He wrapped his arms around Zoro, getting perfectly comfortable on the hard deck of the ship.

Zoro was comfortable as well, but he ended up staying awake the entire night. He did nod off just as the sun was coming up, arms wrapped around Sanji.


	11. Conflicted

"Awww, look at them~ Isn't that precious?"

"It's a hell of a long way to come from where they were yesterday."

Sanji cracked his eyes open and the first thing he noticed was the pain from having slept on the deck. The second thing he wondered was why he was on the deck in the first place.

Zoro was out cold, drooling too, and snoring softly, completely unaware to the rest of the crew. He hadn't gotten to sleep until dawn, he could sleep as much as he wanted.

Sanji sat up, tweaking his back from moving his sore muscles too quickly. "It...it's not..." Not what it looks like? He'd have to do better than that to convince his smirking nakama.

Sanji was promptly tackled by Luffy. "Yay they made up! See I knew they would!" He was tempted to shove Sanji back towards Zoro and command they kiss.

"Shut up! You'll wake him!" Sanji defended, pushing Luffy away. "I didn't mean to fall asleep. I was just exhausted after a long day." He stood up and brushed himself off. "I'm...gonna go make dinner..." he quickly corrected himself as he absconded, "I mean breakfast."

Luffy laughed and followed after Sanji at the sound of food, leaving them all to let Zoro take his nap.

After breakfast, Sanji took Zoro a special plate of food out to Zoro. "Oi, Zoro, I've got food for you."

Zoro grunted awake and looked up at the cook, yawning and nodded. "Thanks," he murmured, reaching up to take it and start eating. He was a bit stiff, but he had slept well enough.

“Er...yeah...” Sanji fidgeted a moment, “I’m gonna, uh, be in the kitchen cleaning up. Just bring the plate when you’re done.” He’d already turned and started walking away before he finished speaking.

Zoro grunted again and started eating, getting up when he was finished. He teetered a bit, then got his feet steady before he went down to the galley to hand in his plate. "Thanks for the food."

"Mm, yeah. Don't mention it." Sanji grunted as he mopped. He cursed his crew's messy eating habits. "Just put it on the counter, I'll wash it in a bit." As Zoro walked by, he left behind a trail of those delicious pheromones. Sanji couldn't help but shiver.

Zoro left the plate and took a seat at the table with a groan. "Hng... That definitely wasn't a good place to sleep for my back." He didn't want to sound like an old man, but seriously, his back had been hurting ever since he'd started getting bigger.

"Here," Sanji set the handle of the mop against the counter, "lay down, I'll fix it for you." He walked over to the table and waited for Zoro to join him.

"Oh." Zoro awkwardly got up on the table and laid on his stomach, head resting in his arms. He had to be mindful of the bump, of course. "You know what you're doing?"

"If anything, I know how to work my hands." Sanji thought for a second, "Second thought, sit up. Don't want you lying on the baby."

Zoro sat up and leaned back on his hands. "This good?"

"Lean forward a bit." Sanji slid in behind Zoro, a leg on either side of Zoro's hips. He pulled Zoro's green robe down off his shoulders before running his strong, soothing hands running over his shoulders and down to his lower back, where he figured the tightest knots would be.

"Mm..." Zoro groaned as Sanji's magic hands went to work. "Damn," he murmured, "that's good." Definitely felt better than just suffering along with the pain.

“It’s damn good. These hands work magic.” He rested his chin on Zoro’s shoulder, smirking. “I’m getting where it hurts, right?”

"Yeah, right in the middle of my back," Zoro groaned, tilting his head back. "Hng- too hard," he grunted as Sanji's slender fingers dug in just a bit too hard.

"Sorry..." Sanji whispered before pressing his lips to the side of Zoro's neck, his hands working away the knots he could feel in Zoro's lower back.

"Mmm..." Zoro moaned and sighed, rolling his head back enough to rest it on Sanji's shoulder.

"Nnn...you smell so good..." Sanji began to move his hands upward, feeling Zoro relax as he worked.

Zoro snorted. "Yeah... Sure. Whatever." He still didn't see it. He had no clue what the smell was or why it was so attractive.

“You’d notice the smell if you weren’t the one emitting it.” He inhaled, feeling his pants grow slightly tighter. He only hoped Zoro wouldn’t notice.

Zoro just shrugged and grunted. "Whatever. Doesn't really affect me." That he knew of anyway.

“Mmm.” Sanji hummed as he kissed down Zoro’s neck to his shoulder as his hands worked the muscles around his shoulder blades.

Zoro moaned again, leaning into the cook's hands, shivering slightly. "Mm, thanks, this is great..."

“I know." Sanji grazed his teeth over Zoro's skin as he brought his hands around to Zoro's front, groping his chest. "...Zoro?...uhh...did your chest, uh, get a bit bigger since last time? Or is that my imagination?"

Zoro grunted in surprise as his swollen chest was grabbed. "Hng... Shut up, it's just a bit of swelling..."

Sanji pinched and tugged at Zoro's nipples, pulling his lips away so he cold look down at what he was doing.

"Stop it," Zoro snapped, turning his head to glare at the cook, "that's not funny."

"I'm not laughing." Sanji continued as he was, ignoring Zoro all together.

"Hng..." Zoro's face scrunched up in embarrassment. "I'm serious, Sanji, stop it- fuck all," he grunted, shuddering as Sanji pinched him again.

“You don’t really want me to stop, do you?” Sanji ran the pad of his scarred thumb over the perky nipple, tickling it, teasing it. He pressed his lips right behind Zoro’s ear, giving a gentle suck. His hips twitched a bit towards Zoro, his bulge rubbing up against Zoro’s ass.

"Ahhn..." Zoro moaned and shook his head, "f-fuck, stop, okay..."

"I don't want to." Sanji mumbled as he ground again bringing one hand down to Zoro's groin.

"Fuck..." Zoro groaned and shook his head. "Hng..." He couldn't help how good it felt.

"Zoro...you up for it?" He palmed the growing bulge in Zoro's loose fitting pants. He wrapped his other arm around Zoro's waist and pulled him in closer, grinding more harshly against Zoro. "That smell's drivin me mad..."

"Yeah, fuck yeah," Zoro murmured, turning his head and leaning in to get a kiss, though he was slow, just to make sure Sanji could pull away if he really wanted to.

Sanji turned to give his attention elsewhere, pretending he hadn’t noticed that Zoro had tried to kiss him. His hands went down to Zoro’s pant line, running over the baby bump...The baby...Suddenly, Sanji felt a little...weirded out. He didn’t like the idea of his dick being so close to the baby. However, he also felt that they couldn’t stop now.

Zoro sighed and gave up on the kiss, leaning back and grinding back against the other. "Shit, hurry up," he murmured, eyes slipping shut as he rubbed against Sanji's hand.

"Sh-Shut up...I just...is there some other way we can do this...?" He placed his forehead on Zoro's shoulder, too embarrassed to risk looking into Zoro's face.

"Fine, how do you want me?" Zoro asked, growling and rubbing against the other. "Come on, Sanji."

Sanji didn't know what he wanted. He thought about it for a moment. "Could we...try a 69? I just...don't want...the baby to...ya know..."

Zoro arched an eyebrow. "What? You don't want to fuck me because of the kid?"

"It's just weird...I feel like I'm invading its space..." Sanji began to fidget uncomfortably.

Zoro's eyebrows arched higher. "Ah... You do realize that sex doesn't bother the kid at all, right? Like in any pregnancy?"

"I...I know...but..." Sanji felt himself growing limp again and he sighed. "If you're so opposed to doing something different, we'll just have to wait till it's born."

Zoro groaned and rolled his eyes. "You are so damn hard to please. Whatever." He got up and cracked his back with a sigh, moving towards the door. "Anything else?"

Sanji slumped where he sat, staring at the floor. "...You're welcome for the back massage." He mumbled, standing up and going to the mop.

"Yeah, thanks," Zoro muttered, sighing and closing the door behind him. The one time he had been up for something and Sanji had to chicken out...

If Zoro had listened closely enough, he would've heard Sanji bash his head against the wall. Sure, he may have been a tad...unreasonable you could say. However, Zoro'd been perfectly willing to do something that he wasn't sure he'd offer again. "Idiot..."

**o()o()o**

Zoro was trying to be as comfortable as possible as he could with Sanji. Everyone knew about the kid, everyone knew about the sex, and Sanji was just being so damn awkward about everything. 

Speak of the devil; Sanji had come out to deliver snacks to everyone, saving Zoro’s extra nutritious one for last. “Hey.” He held the treat before Zoro’s nose, “Eat up, Marimo.”

Zoro took the snack and sighed, starting to eat. "Hey," he said through a mouthful of food, "how do you feel about us?"

Sanji tensed, though he hid it well. "...What you mean?" He held the serving tray under one arm as his free hand pulled out a cigarette.

"You know. Us. As a couple."

"...What _I_ think?" Sanji scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "I think there're things that we could be and things that we are, but there are definitely things that we aren't..."

"And what aren't we?"

"You must have some idea if you're asking." He was pacing, subtly trying to get a little distance between himself and Zoro. He really didn't want to talk about this.

"No, get the fuck back here and talk to me, we're going to talk about it," Zoro demanded with a glare. "I'm not letting this get lost in whatever the fuck happens."

Sanji stopped in his tracks, but he maintained a good 5 foot distance. He frowned, not liking this at all. "Do we have to?"

"Yes."

"Why can't we just let it go where it goes?"

Zoro sighed and shook his head. "What do you think the kid is gonna be like... You know, if it sees its parents don't even want to be together romantically. What's it going to think, that relationships are just like that?" He hated being so...emotional and analytical, that was Sanji’s thing, but seriously, he needed Sanji to know that this would affect the child.

“Look, just cause we have a kid between us, l..lo...” He looked away biting his lip, “Feelings can’t just appear overnight. You know I care about the kid, and that’s pretty much the only reason I’m trying to...”

"I'm not asking you to fall in love of me. Just asking you to try a little harder than occasionally fucking me and caring about my health."

"Look, Zoro, I'm trying. Alright? It's...I don't know." Sanji frowned. "I've got something I need to tend to." He turned and quickly walked away.

Zoro groaned and rubbed at his temple, shaking his head. He needed something to keep busy...

Nami was being pestered by Luffy about their next location when Zoro and Sanji had their little disagreement. She looked over at Luffy, "I am _not_ helping them with this one."

Sanji wanted to preoccupy himself with something, but he'd just made a snack. He wasn't going to waste food just so he could get a little peace of mind.

Luffy didn't know what to do either so he figured he would stay out of it for now. Maybe they should get Chopper to talk to Zoro...

Sanji spent the time he had until dinner being creepy. Not intentionally, but he was simply curious. He was watching Zoro very carefully, trying to figure out his inner turmoil. Could he fall in love with Zoro? Probably not. He suddenly realized that Zoro hadn't told him anything; he had no idea what Zoro was thinking either. 

 _'That damned Marimo...I bet he isn't thinking about this at all. Dropping land mines and then leaving them there for me to step on.'_ He threw the door open. "You can't put this all on me, BAKA MARIMO!" And slammed it again, confusing even himself with his outburst.

Zoro looked up and tilted his head, looking at the door, rather confused. "What...?" He had no idea what the cook was talking about.

Nami clutched her head and tried not to scream, failing of course. "THIS IS SO RIDICULOUS! I can't take it anymore! It's so awkward! What the hell is wrong with you guys!" She directed all of her confused anger towards their pregnant swordsman.

"I have no idea what the hell he's talking about," Zoro replied with a snort, "I'm not doing anything to him."

“Well ther must be something going on!” She insisted, letting her face drop into her hands out of frustration, “You need to talk to him!”

Zoro opened his eyes and frowned. "Why?" he cocked his head to the side and frowned. "Does it matter?"

"If it didn’t matter, then where the hell is all this awkward tension coming from?" Nami folded her arms, "I thought you guys made up."

"We did make up, he's just a pussy," Zoro snorted, rolling his eyes and leaning back. He sighed and closed his eyes. "Doesn't matter, he's just butthurt over the fact that I told him to try caring more than just about my health and the kid." 

"You sure about that?” Nami sighed and sat down across from her friend. “He might just be uncomfortable with doing more than that." Nami could've sworn she wasn't going to get involved. Oh well. "That doesn't make him a pussy."

"I'm not asking him to marry me," Zoro snorted, "I just think the kid should know that at least its parents are together. If they aren't what's the kid going to think about relationships?"

"In a way you kind of are. Raising a kid together is a life-long commitment...Or, well, at least until the child is able to live on its own. Besides, you can't control how your child thinks, you know?"

"I can't control how it thinks, but I can keep it from thinking stupid relationships with no strings attached are normal." They were for Zoro, but he didn't think that that was best for the kid. The kid should at least have a chance to be normal. Whatever that was these days. 

"If it's just a stupid no strings attached relationship, why bother trying to get it to work?"

 Zoro didn't respond, letting the legs of his chair hit the ground. "I don't know."

 Nami sighed, "Maybe it'd be better if you two really did elope to the North Blue."


	12. Doubled

Zoro had been feeling...off, all day. Every once in a while he would feel a twinge in his stomach, and his head ached and throbbed. It was getting late in the evening when the dizziness finally got to him too badly and he ended up falling down, only barely catching himself on his hands and knees.

"Zoro, you don't look well. Tell me, where does it hurt?" Chopper was at his side in a moment, "Is it your stomach?"

The others who happened to overhear quickly gathered round, worried for their pregnant nakama.

Zoro didn't like at all that he was getting so much damn attention. "I just fell down," he muttered, rolling over to sit on his behind. He waved off his nakama, but grabbed Chopper to keep him there. "Been dizzy all day."

"Come on, let's get you into the infirmary." He nodded to the cyborg who'd been lingering to see what was wrong.

"Alright, bro, let's go." He scooped the swordsman up, ignoring the protests, and carrying Zoro in after the doctor.

Zoro cried out and struggled against his nakama. He was _not_ happy with being carried. Halfway there he gave up, pouting childishly with his arms crossed. "I don't want anyone in here but you," Zoro growled to Chopper as he was set down in the infirmary.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be outta your hair. Just helping where I can.” Franky smirked, “You want Cook-bro in here with you? If this is what I think it is, I think he might wanna be here.”

Chopper smiled, “Well, we’re not 100 percent, but I’m pretty sure you’re right, Franky. Zoro, if you’ve gone into labor, I think Sanji would really appreciate being here.”

Zoro sighed and closed his eyes, leaning back. "Sure, he can be here."

“Alright, I’ll get ‘im.” Franky hurried out, leaving the doctor and Zoro alone.

“Alright, Zoro I’m going to have to remove your shirt and haramaki. We might want to remove your pants as well.” Chopper sighed, pouting a bit. “I wish I had some of those hospital gowns...”

Zoro twitched and pulled his shirt off, then his haramaki, before he tugged his hakama off and laid back. "Are you going to put me under...is that even needed?" Zoro wasn't sure if he wanted to be able to see inside himself.

“Well, I wouldn’t want the drug spreading to the baby. I’ve got a numbing salve. You won’t even feel the incision.” Chopper smiled, trying to be reassuring, but coming off maybe a little creepy.

Sanji burst into the room looking a little frazzled. His eyes were red and his hair mussed. He’d fallen asleep, exhausted by a long day, but the news that his child might be on the way had thrown him out of bed.

Zoro jumped slightly as Sanji burst through. "Oi, try not to cause such a ruckus," he snorted, making a face at the cook.

“I’m checking now.” Chopper assured as he pressed the drum of his stethoscope to Zoro’s stomach. “I wish I had the proper equipment to show you the baby.” Chopper finished checking over Zoro before reaching for the salve. “If you’re going to be in here Sanji, I’m going to have to ask you to disinfect yourself.”

“Is it true?” Sanji asked a little breathlessly. “Is it really here?” Chopper gave one of his cute little smiles, nodding in response.

Zoro sighed and closed his eyes, trying to meditate over the conflicting feelings. He just needed to find some sort of peace with this, and at least be calm enough to let Chopper take the kid out.

Sanji made sure to follow the doctor's orders before going over by Zoro, standing by the head of the bed. He leaned over and ran his hand through Zoro's hair as Chopper applied the numbing gel.

Zoro growled and tugged his head away from Sanji's hand. "You're screwing up my meditation." And he was definitely going to need it if Chopper was going to be cutting into him. He could feel Chopper rubbing the salve over his stomach.

"S...Sorry..." He stepped back, feeling a little put out. He didn't know what else he could do. He simply watched as Chopper prepared to begin the incision.

Zoro didn't know why he couldn't stand the sight of his own blood, closing his eyes and covering his face with one hand. It made him sick. He could get through it, he knew he could, but he needed the moments to bring himself together and realize that _holy shit_ that kid was coming out of him.

Sanji was back beside Zoro in a second, not quite sure what to do, but doing his best to try and comfort the man. He was watching Chopper as he worked; his baby was on its way.

Zoro reached out and grasped Sanji's sleeve, gritting his teeth. He had no idea what to do, besides just lay back and wait for it to be over- which was what he had a problem with. He was awake, and if he was awake, he felt like he should be doing something.

Sanji tensed at first, but he quickly, though carefully wrapped an arm around Zoro, holding him to his chest as the first cries of a baby resonated through the room.

Zoro relaxed quite a bit as he heard the baby. "Is it over...?"

“Sanji, would you like to cut the cord?" Chopper asked as he held the baby in a blanket he'd prepared. 

Sanji nodded dumbly as he took the surgical scissors from Chopper, shakily cutting through the cord of his baby...their baby...

"Congratulations, it's a boy!" Chopper announced excitedly, "I'll need you to hold him while I remove the other one."

Zoro nearly choked on his own spit. "O-oth- _other one!?"_

Chopper chuckled, albeit a tad nervously, "Err...Congratulations, you have twin boys~ eh heh~"

"I think I'm going to be sick." Zoro could in no way handle two. _Two._ "Just get it out so I can pass out, I need to go to sleep, bad."

It took Sanji a moment to knock out of his stupor. "O-Oi! You're not leaving me alone with two newborns!" He felt the bundle in his arms wriggle, giving out a soft whimper. Sanji's attention was quickly diverted to the beautiful bundle in his arms. He quirked a small smile, feeling love bubble over in his chest. "Hello, baby...I'm your Papa..." He whispered before placing a gentle kiss to the tuft of pale hair.

It was only minutes later that their second, beautiful bundle was brought into the world and placed in Zoro's arms.

Zoro gulped as he looked down at the child in his arms. He had no idea what to do. He figured out how to hold it, but what else was he supposed to do? "What...what do I do?" He looked up to Chopper, then to Sanji, then back to their doctor.

"Well, we're going to have to feed them, bathe them, clothe them...diapers are needed, beds are needed...Shit, why didn't we think of this before?" Sanji felt panic rise up inside him. He had never asked himself if he was ready to be a dad, and it was a little late to say he wasn't.

"Yeah, I'm gonna...pass out for a bit..." Zoro looked down at the blonde baby, leaning back with a sigh and closing his eyes.

Sanji had been pissed when Zoro had passed out, leaving him alone with two newborns. However, once the kids calmed down, he was able to cradle them and coo over them softly.

After Zoro woke up he sat up, hissing as his stitches were disturbed. He talked to Chopper, who allowed him to get up and go see the newborns, who Sanji had taken away to watch in his kitchen.

Upon entering the kitchen and seeing Sanji he smiled. "Hey, think a room full of knives and hot objects is good for a couple babies?"

"I would never put my...our babies in danger. Would I~? No I wouldn't~" He leaned over one of the babes and kissed his cheeks. "I'm just warming some bottles, unless you plan on breast feeding."

"Fuck no," Zoro snorted, coming over to look over the kids and smiling. He tried to poke at one, only for it to coo and grab his finger awkwardly. More like slap at it, as it was probably still learning what hands did. "...Wait, what are we gonna name them?" Maybe they should have thought of that earlier.

"I'd only thought of girls’ names." Sanji didn't look up from the baby to answer Zoro. He scooped up the older twin in his arms and bouncing him gently as he walked back over to the stove.

Zoro awkwardly lifted the baby up, holding him in his arms.  
  
“Support his head!” Sanji barked, “You break the baby’s neck and I’ll fucking flambé you."

Zoro twitched and quickly complied, holding the baby with more support. "Yeah, yeah, I got it...shit. Seriously, what are we going to name them?"

Sanji shifted the baby as he pulled one of the bottles out of the warm pot, testing his homemade formula before presenting it to the babe. “Hmm...what about...Liam. The perfect name for my handsome prince~”

"That works," Zoro replied with a nod, taking the bottle and flipping it around expertly with that motherly(?) instinct he seemed to have...always had, and helped the baby drink.

"Hmm~ What should we name your little brother, Liam?" Sanji felt his heart swell when his son opened electric blue eyes and looked up at him. It was probable that the color would change, but Sanji thought it was the most beautiful thing in the world.

"How about King? That would be cool, right?" Zoro couldn't think of anything more successful. If you were named king you had to live up to your namesake right?

Sanji blinked, not sure if Zoro was joking or not. "Err...I don't know if "cool" would be the right word for it."

"Hey, come on, that's a good name. Besides, you got to name one," Zoro huffed. "Besides, then he's gonna have to live up to his name."

"Your parents didn't name you "swordsman" and mine didn't name me "chef." I'm not letting you name our son King."

"Yeah but he could be a king." Zoro was mostly just thinking in his own logic.

"Well, yes, but that doesn't mean we have to brand his destiny on his forehead." Liam released the bottle's nipple and Sanji shifted the tiny bundle as he began patting his back, waiting for the child to burp.

"Then fine, what should we name him? Kid can't very well not have a name."

Sanji sighed again, "If you really like King, maybe we can name him something less straightforward...like..mm..." Sanji thought for a moment, "What about Duke?"

"Duke is a dog name." Zoro frowned and pulled the bottle away, then hoisted the kid on his shoulder, starting to rub his back to get him to burp. "Yeah, that works."

"Are you implying our baby's a dog?" Sanji frowned, not at all liking how Zoro linked the two thoughts together.

"I'm not gonna get any better." Zoro shrugged and gently bounced the baby on his shoulder, hardly any motion there until it burped and then pulled it back down to his arms, poking and looking over him, the baby grasping at his finger again. Grasping being a loose term.

Sanji watched with a conflicted smile as Zoro interacted with the newborn. "I guess we're a real family now..."

Zoro looked over at Sanji and managed a smile. "Yeah, if you really want to be. I won't be complaining. Has the rest of the crew seen the kids?"

"I was waiting for you to wake up. They're dying to see them. Luffy practically knocked down the door trying to get in." Sanji ran his hand over the wisps of blonde hair, cooing sweet nothings to the half asleep baby.

"Well, why don't we let them see 'em?" Zoro asked as he looked up with a smile. "It'd be good for the kids to meet the rest of the family."

"Well, everyone’s practically squashed against the door. You sit down, I know Chopper wouldn't want those stitches opening again." He strode over to the door and prepared to unlock it.

"Oh." Zoro frowned at that but nodded. "Yeah, go ahead and open it." He took his seat with the baby, who was rapidly falling asleep. He hoped everyone at least stay quiet.

Naturally, they weren't.

"Oh my gosh~! They're ADORABLE!"

"They're so tiny, bro, I could fit both of them in one of my hands."

"I'm gonna tell them about AAAALL the exciting adventures of the great Captain Usopp~"

"Oh, how cute. When do you think they'll be able to read?"

"Issha! Everyone shush!"

"Shishishishi~ I can't wait until they start talking!"

"Yohohoho~ I will have to teach them how to play an instrument!"

Sanji glared murderously, at everyone except his ladies of course, “Pipe. Down. They’re trying to sleep.” Liam began to whimper, finding all the loud noise incredibly disagreeable.

Zoro sighed and waved a few people away and shushed the babies. "I think we should leave the kids alone for a bit," Zoro said, glaring at everyone to leave. Most of the crew did, with the exception of Nami and Luffy.

"Oh, come on, Zoro, we didn't even get to see them for a minute! You can't throw us out just yet!" Nami leaned in towards Duke, gently running her finger over the soft, pinkish skin. "So cute~"

"Yeah!" Luffy laughed, going up to the other baby and making faces at it, stretching his mouth and face wide to make it gurgle at him.

Zoro's eye twitched. "Yeah, you'll have plenty of time to see them later. As in not now."

“Awww, but why?” Nami whined. She wanted to hold the twins so badly.

“Hey, hey, Luffy, don’t scare him. You’re weirding _me_ out.” Sanji pulled the child away, despite the fact that Liam was clearly entertained.

Zoro made a face. "Luffy, stop that. Get your face away from my kid."

"Our kid." Sanji corrected as he tried to hide Liam from Luffy.

"Come on, Zoro, let me hold him!" Nami reached forward in a silent request to take the wriggling babe from his arms.

Zoro groaned and rolled his eyes, handing the baby off. "Yeah, sure..." He leaned back for the moment and glared at Luffy, who was still making faces. "Luffy I said stop it, you're freaking me out."

“Dammit, _stop!_ ” Sanji delivered a kick to Luffy’s chin, knocking him away.

“Awww~ Hello...what’s his name?” Nami asked as she cradled the baby in her arms. Duke groped at her breast out of instinct. Apparently he was still hungry.

Luffy was still laughing as he got kicked, tumbling to the other end of the kitchen. Zoro leaned against the table and rolled his eyes. "That's Duke. And that's Liam." Zoro pointed to each baby in turn.

Nami gasped as she cooed at the baby. "Hello, Duke~ Well aren't you precious~ You look just like Sanji-kun."

"Are you saying I'm precious Nami~swan?" Sanji wriggled where he stood, unable to dance over with Liam in his arms.

"Oh can it," Zoro snorted at Sanji, shaking his head. "You're ridiculous." Still quite interesting how easily Sanji could disregard the fact that they had children together- or not really disregard the children, just their...relationship. Ish. thing.

"And you're jealous." Sanji teased smirking. He didn't think it was true, but it was a perfect chance to tease Zoro a bit.

Zoro snorted again. "You wish, shit cook."

"Not really." Sanji strode over to Nami. Seeing such a beautiful woman holding his child...for a second he could pretend that, like in all his past delusions, he was a family with the lovely Nami-san. "Ahh~ Nami~swan~ you'd make a great mother~"

"What about me Sanji?" Luffy piped up, wanting to be included in the conversation.

"You'd kill the thing before it was a day old," Zoro snickered.

"I bet our children would be beautiful, Nami-swaaan~" Sanji cooed, quieting down when Liam began to fuss.

"That's enough, Sanji-kun! You have two brand new children to worry about."

Zoro rolled his eyes again and yawned. "Yeah, shit cook, think of the kids you already got." Not that he really cared. Well, he did care. Sanji said he wanted to be their father, he was going to be their goddamn father.

"Che, for a while I was thinking about them more than you were. Don't you lecture me."

"They were inside me for months, I think I was entitled to not think about it for at least a little bit."

Nami handed Duke back to Zoro. "Come on, Luffy, let's get out of here." She could sense a fight brewing and she didn't want to get in the way.

"What's it matter that you held them. I was the one who made sure they were healthy."

"You act like I wouldn't have cared. If I didn't have you to worry about that shit, trust me, I would have taken it into my own hands." Or asked someone else for advice. Probably.

"Bullshit! You almost got them killed!" Sanji bit, voice quiet so it wouldn't disturb Liam who was starting to fall asleep in Sanji's rocking arms.

"You act like I did it on purpose!" Zoro snapped angrily, getting rather defensive.

“You knew the risks and did it anyways." Sanji held Liam close, as if he was protecting him.

"I wasn't thinking risks included falling off the damn ship! Look, just drop it, asshole, it's not like I can change it." He hated that Sanji was still holding onto that...

"I was just saying that you have no right to lecture me about the kids." Sanji turned away, going to grab the baby blanket to wrap his dozing baby in.

"Whatever, yeah, I don't have that right, now can we drop it?" Zoro didn't want it to be his fault. It wasn't his fault. Kind of. He was trying to be useful.

"Yeah, sure, whatever. It's just our kids, no big deal right?" Sanji shrugged, voice and gestures drenched in sarcasm.

"Yeah, and maybe instead you shouldn't be berating me and be glad they're alive instead," Zoro snapped.

"If they weren't alive, I would've even be in the same room as you." Sanji leaned in and nosed Liam's round cheek. "I love you and your brother so much. I don't know what I'd do without you two."

Zoro made a face. "So, when's dinner?" Of course, he was just going to take everything back to before the fight. He wasn't going to try picking them with Sanji just for the sake of picking them now. They had kids to worry about.

“A couple hours." Sanji tossed the words over his shoulder before going back to cooing over his child.

Zoro smiled. "Oi, there are people who aren't infants who need your attention too."

"They can wait." Sanji bounced his way over to Zoro, cooing over duke. "Papa loves you, yes he does~

"I meant me, asshole."

Sanji looked up at Zoro, somewhat surprised with the response. He hadn't been expecting it. He was sort of hoping it didn't mean what he thought it did. "Uh...why, you hungry?"

Zoro frowned and crossed his arms, as if asking 'really?' He moved towards Sanji but brushed past him, leaning against the counter and waiting for him to turn around to look at him. "The fuck do you think?"

Sanji didn't move for a moment. "I never know what to think with you." He slowly turned around. He was pretty sure he understood what Zoro meant, but Zoro was the type to almost never ask for these sorts of things.

"Let's fuck." If Sanji was going to tiptoe around it, then he wasn't going to play games.

"...Don't use that kind of language in front of them." He scolded half-heartedly. "I don't want them in here if we do."

"Please, I've said fuck and shit tons of times since I've walked into the room and you're only regarding it now because you don't want to. That's fine, whatever." Zoro shrugged and pushed away from the counter. "I'm going to be like the kids and take a nap."

"No, Zoro, that's not..." Sanji groaned, "God you're so fu...freaking moody." He grit his teeth. "Quit being so damned sensitive. Is there something wrong with me not wanting to fu...have sex in front of our kids?"

"No, it was just the fact that you corrected me after I had said fuck more than five times before. Obviously you don't want to. I wasn't about to let us give the kids a free show," Zoro snorted with a shrug. "You don't want to, so I'm just going to take a nap."

"Are you not listening to me?" Sanji raised his voice, startling the baby who began to whimper. Sanji quickly shushed the baby before turning back to Zoro. "I said I wanted to!"

“Alright, then I’ll meet you up behind the mikan bushes.”

“I’m _not_ defiling Nami-san’t grove!”

"I didn't say on the trees." Zoro made a face and groaned. "I said behind. As in so no one can see us. It's not like we're going to be doing sexual acrobatics in the trees."

“Look, there’s a couch and pillows in the men’s quarters, call me crazy, but I’d like to be comfortable.” Sanji walked over to the door. “You’ve got 1 minute to quit acting like a woman scorned and follow me downstairs.” He pushed the door open and stepped outside, sweetly calling out to his ladies.

"Who the hell is acting like a woman scorned!?" Zoro sighed and shook his head, but quickly followed Sanji out, then veered off to the men's quarters to meet him after he was done having the girls watch over the kids.

Sanji was in shortly after, closing and locking the door behind him. He strode over to Zoro quickly, pushing him back and into the couch. "You're not going to back out on me this time, right?"

"I should be the one asking you that," Zoro groaned, leaning back and pulling his hakama off, then his haramaki.

"I was willing to try something different last time." Sanji unbuttoned his shirt and shrugged it off. "You're the one that keeps getting huffy and running off."

"And I wanted your dick. In my ass. You're the one who got huffy."

"I told you why I didn't want to." Sanji sighed, he wasn't in the mood for arguing. He kneeled back down and leaned in to bite at Zoro's neck.

Zoro let it go and draped one arm over Sanji's back, the other sliding into his hair with a grunt as he nipped at him. It would be better if they just didn't talk.

Sanji grabbed Zoro's legs, bringing them up around his waist before he started thrusting and grinding against the man beneath him.

Zoro groaned and grinded back, getting hard quickly. He yanked and pushed Sanji's pants down rather violently. He groaned and tugged them closer together, loving the friction.

"Heh, eager aren't we." Sanji pulled away, grabbing Zoro's pants and pulling them down and off completely, leaving Zoro completely nude. They had never had sex without _something_ on before. It was incredibly intimate, and it freaked Sanji out a little, but he ignored it, too horny to let it get in the way. He pulled his pants the rest of the way off, eyes never leaving Zoro.

Zoro fidgeted beneath the cook, feeling rather...exposed, but wrote it off as nothing and just decided to go along with the sex, choosing to ignore the feeling of vulnerability.

Sanji felt a little nervous about being fully exposed, but he refused to let it get to him. "Lie down." He demanded, slowly pumping himself to an erection.

Zoro nodded and flopped onto his stomach, automatically thinking that was what Sanji wanted. He got onto his hands and knees, spreading his legs, waiting for Sanji to hurry up.

"No, on your back." Sanji clarified, voice barely above a whisper.

Zoro was puzzled and silent as he heard that, but awkwardly flipped onto his back, legs open for the cook. It was so...awkward. To be so open and... _seen_ by Sanji. "Gonna turn the lights off?"

"Oh...yeah.” Sanji turned and headed towards the light. He wouldn't let Zoro know it, but if the man really did want the lights off, it was a small blessing to Sanji's nerves. He was flipping out on the inside. “You don’t want em on do you?”

"I don't care." Zoro shrugged and shook his head. He was trying not to care, but...it was rather weird. For Sanji to bother to look at him, _and_ keep the lights on this long.

"I'm, uh, gonna turn them off." Sanji flipped the switch and plunged them into darkness. He walked back over and kneeled between Zoro's legs. He leaned forward and began attacking Zoro's chest so he didn't have to look at Zoro's face anymore.

Zoro didn't at all mind, in fact it soothed him. He sighed and slid a hand into Sanji's hair as he started leaving hickeys, groaning as he finally had that feeling back.

Sanji ground and bucked, rubbing their naked bodies together. He brought a hand up and pressed his fingers against Zoro's lips. "Suck."

Zoro's lips parted and he sucked Sanji's fingers into his mouth, tongue dipping between them and making sure they were properly coated with saliva,

Sanji pulled his fingers from between Zoro's lips and brought them down to Zoro's ass, pressing inside and curling his fingers, wanting to find that sweet spot.

Zoro grunted sharply as Sanji brushed that one spot. "Shit," he murmured, hips twitching down on the cook's fingers. "Hurry up."

"Hn...shut up..." He jerked his hip, grinding their straining erections together. Sanji groaned around Zoro's nipple, releasing it from his lips as he pulled his fingers free. He pushed inside, quickly burying himself to the hilt.

Zoro groaned, arching his back, practically lifting himself off of the couch to fuck himself on Sanji's cock. "Shit," he said out loud as he thought of something, "what if it happens again?"

"You just gave birth, no way can you get pregnant again." Sanji snapped his hips, he'd missed this warmth and tightness terribly. "Fuuuck, that feels so good...

"Yeah- but what if it like- what if it happens again _later._ " That thought enough was turning Zoro off...

“Shut up. You trying to kill the mood?” Sanji rolled his hips, moving more slowly than he was before, pulling nearly all the way out before pressing in again.

"Hng- no, but- dammit- whatever, later!" He didn't want to lose the moment just now that Sanji actually wanted it.

Sanji groaned as he twisted and ground his hips. He pressed his thumb against Zoro's lips. HIs other hand massaged Zoro's waist and hip. He could feel Zoro's hot member against his stomach, getting rubbed between their rocking bodies.

Zoro grunted, one arm slung around his arm around Sanji's neck as he bucked down on him with a groan, every time Sanji moved inside him. "Shit, harder," he demanded, giving Sanji a slap on the back.

“You know, you could try doing all the work once in a while. If your lazy Marimo ass could handle it.” Just to be an asshole, Sanji slowed down, barely tickling Zoro’s prostate.

"Hng- !" Zoro grunted sharply, gritting his teeth. "Cheeky bastard..."

"Deal with it. You're stuck with me." Sanji continued to tease and taunt, bringing Zoro close, but never quite close enough. He loved having this sort of power over the grumpy swordsman.

Zoro tired of this teasing fairly quickly and shoved Sanji off, rolling them to the floor until he could straddle the cook, reaching back to grasp his shaft and guide him in one more, setting his own pace with a moan as he began to ride him.

Sanji had the breath practically knocked out of him when Zoro threw them off. "Ow! The fuck?" When Zoro impaled himself again, Sanji's head shot back, knocking against the wood of the floor. "Ah, shit!"

"Who's lazy now?" Zoro snarked, smirking and rolling his hips languidly and seductively, head tilting back as he moaned and rocked onto Sanji's cock, deep, all the way to the base.

Sanji looked up at Zoro's sexy, smug face, feeling a spike in his libido. "Che," Sanji gripped Zoro's hips and rolled into Zoro's downward thrusts, "you're only doing the work cause I wouldn't do it for you."

"Hng- at least I did something about it as opposed to just let you cocktease the shit out of me..." Zoro smirked and moaned with each of Sanji's movements.

"That's only cause you're so. damned. _impatient."_ Sanji emphasized his words with harsh snaps of his hips, letting one of his hands travel to Zoro's cock to begin pumping.

"Shit!" Zoro cursed, convulsing and cum spraying from his cock as he trembled and shakily took a grip on Sanji's shoulder, but didn't stop moving, intending to make the cook come.

Zoro's muscles tightened around Sanji, drawing out a near painful orgasm and milking every last drop of cum out of his deep red cock. He felt Zoro's cum splatter over his face, some of it getting in his mouth. He was border-lining between put off and disgusted.

Zoro noticed the spatter of cum on Sanji's face and did the honor of wiping it away, then kissing him to distract him. Maybe not too...thoughtful, but he figured it would distract him from the bad taste in his mouth if he had a tongue in it instead.

It did little to soothe Sanji. If anything, it freaked him out more. He snapped his head to the side, abruptly breaking the kiss. He appreciated Zoro wiping the offending viscous substance, but the kiss, he felt, wasn't at all necessary. 

Zoro groaned and leaned back with a sigh, eyes closed and pulling off of Sanji's cock. "Shit... That was good."

"Yeah..." Sanji stood up and gathered up his clothes. "Been a damn long time..." He muttered as he slipped his boxers and pants.

"Mhm," Zoro murmured, pulling his pants up and flopping onto the couch, folding his arms behind his head and closing his eyes, feeling rather relaxed.

"I'm going back to the kids." Sanji shrugged on his shirt and quickly went to leave. buttoning his shirt as he pushed open the door.

"Have fun, I'll take a nap." Zoro then yawned and relaxed, finding it rather nice to just lay there for a while.

 Sanji rolled his eyes in mild annoyance as he closed the door, calling out sweetly to the ladies and his children, the four greatest loves in his life.


	13. Contented

"Duke~ Where's your belly? Where's your belly?" Sanji was in the process of getting his younger son dressed after a bath and was playing with the giggling, 6 month old. "There it is!" He pulled the shirt back up and blew raspberries into the round, warm tummy, eliciting shrieks of joy from the baby.

Zoro made a face at the cook from where he was getting the older baby dressed. Liam was much calmer and less excitable, which was just fine by Zoro. He was just gurgling and flexing his hands at Zoro, occasionally batting at his face. "You do realize that that is so stupid sounding, right? If you don't talk to the kids right they're not gonna be talking very quick."

"Ohh~ I'm just playing with him~ Isn't that right, Duke? Mommy's just being a party pooper. Yes he is!" Sanji blew into Duke's stomach again. Duke screamed and flailed excitedly, mouth spreading into a big, toothless grin.

"Ugh, I'm not mommy..." Of course, Zoro was mostly only shooting back snidely because it was Sanji. Nami and Luffy...and really most of the crew were referring to him as the mama. And he didn't mind. As long as the kids didn't actually start calling him mom.

"Yeah, yeah." Sanji kissed Duke's cheeks, the baby grabbing on to the shiny, blonde strands, puling at them, trying to get them into his mouth. Everything and anything that intrigued him went into his mouth.

Zoro rolled his eyes and got to his feet, picking up Liam and holding him out in front of him. "What about you, kid? You gonna turn into a prissy gayass chef like your dad? No? Good, at least one of 'em'll come out good from this." The baby only giggled and reached out for Zoro's face to grab onto something in response

"And you're not gonna become a grumpy, oversensitive, useless Marimo, right, Duke?" Sanji fastened Duke's clothes and picked him up, holding him close. "You and your brother better turn out like me." He kissed Duke's chubby cheeks again. "Well, at least you look like me."

"Yeah, one more thing to add to my annoyance list," Zoro snorted, he smiled and held Liam to his chest, the baby looping his arms around his neck. The babies nearly had all their most basic motor functions figured out. Enough to realize that when they clenched their hands, they could grab something. Most of the time that something was usually a breast or Usopp's nose.

"Come on, let's go play on the lawn." Sanji carried Duke out the door, going down to the grass lawn where several other Strawhats were lounging about. Sanji set Duke down on the grass and held his hands, slowly following behind as Duke took assisted steps towards Robin, who was enjoying a book in her lounge chair.

Zoro followed close behind, but instead of walking Liam around he just took a seat, legs crossed and let the baby sit in his lap, looking around gurgling, occasionally, putting his hand out towards something, which Zoro would avert his attention to.

Robin looked up from her book with a smile, seeing Sanji so happy with his child. "Hello, Cook-san. How are you and Baby-chan doing?" she asked, sitting up and leaning forward slightly.

"We came over to see Auntie Robin~" Sanji cooed. Duke looked up at her, his silvery-blue eyes shining in joy when he saw the lady. He let out an excited chirp as he tried to speed up his cubby little legs. He tripped, and would have fallen if Sanji hadn't been holding tight.

Robin smiled and cooed softly, taking Duke's hands in her own and starting to play with him. Well, as much as a six month old _could_ play...

Zoro was leaning back against the railing, with Liam in his lap, the baby curled up, thumb in his mouth as he slept. Zoro looked over the railing and frowned as he saw a ship. "Hey, there's a ship..."

"Oh yeah? You see the flag?" Sanji asked over his shoulder as he tickled Duke's chin. Couldn't be anything too serious.

Zoro took a moment to look over at the ship for a minute and get to his feet, baby in his arms protectively, though not moving so much that he would rouse him from his nap. "Marines."

"Oh?" Sanji stood up and headed over to where Zoro was, trying to see where Zoro was looking, scooping Liam up when he came over. Hs dedication to always trying to evenly distribute his affection to both sons quickly stole his attention, nearly making him forget about the ship all together. "Well, it's only one. No need to worry."

Zoro let Sanji take the baby and crossed his arms. "Yeah, we'll see..." He had a bad feeling in his gut.

The ship's den den mushi began ringing. Franky, having been closest, picked it up to answer. "Moshi moooshi!" He cried into the receiver. The voice was too quiet for anyone else to hear, but after a couple seconds, Franky called down to Zoro, letting him know the call was for him.

Zoro frowned and nodded, coming over and picking up the handle of the denden mushi "...Hello?" he asked, tilting his head slightly in confusion. Who was calling him of all people?

"Hey, Zoro!" Saga voice had an excited lilt to it. "I wanted to call before you started firing. I'm on that Marine ship, 20 degrees south of you guys. Think I could stop by for a while?" He took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. "I...I'd like to see our kids. If that's okay..."

"Oh." That was all Zoro could muster. Was an 'oh'. He sighed and rubbed at his forehead. "Yeah. yeah, come on board, I have something important to tell you, and I think it should be in person."

“Is...Has...” Saga ran a hand through his hair. He was terribly afraid that something had gone terribly wrong. What if Zoro had miscarried? The thought horrified him. “Alright, I’ll be over in a few.” Saga hung up the den den mushi and yelled at his men to hurry.

Zoro sighed and hung up and went out to the crew. "The marines over there are just Saga and his crew. Let him come on." He awkwardly avoided Sanji's gaze, hands in his haramaki.

Sanji held Liam protectively, as if Saga was coming to take him away. "...Does he have to?" It was a childish question, but Sanji couldn't resist pouting, feeling his possessiveness act up. "You're not gonna make me revoke my rights as Papa again, are you?"

"No. I'm going to tell him," Zoro replied with a sigh. "He shouldn't feel like he's tied down to kids he'd never be able to see anyway... Especially kids that aren't even his."

"Good, cause _I'm_ their Papa. Not Saga." Sanji pouted in an alarmingly Luffy-like fashion. He went back over to Robin and Duke and let the brothers crawl around and grab at each other, recognizing each other and babbling back and forth excitedly.

Zoro sighed and nodded, leaning against the railing. "I know, I'm not going to take that away from you. Which is why I'm going to tell him- me, not anyone else. Got it?" He didn't want Saga to hear it from anyone else.

Sanji nodded before turning back to Robin. "Robin-chan, I need to make dinner. Would you mind terribly watching them for a moment?" Robin nodded and Sanji thanked her before walking back over to Zoro. "Mm, good...thanks..." He turned to head off before stopping, turning back to Zoro and pecking his cheek before quickly hurrying to the kitchen.

Zoro flinched away from the kiss slightly, but otherwise didn't react and just waited for Saga to show up. He did, fairly quickly at that, and most of the crew had vacated, except for Robin and Nami with the babies.

Saga came aboard about 5 minutes after everyone vacated, greeting Zoro with a slightly awkward hug. "Hey...um...is he...okay?"

"Yeah- yeah, the twins are fine," Zoro sighed, motioning over to the girls who had the babies. "They're over there, you can see them in a moment, but... I have to tell you something. Important."

"Twins!" Saga clutched at his chest, surprised at the news. "Al-Alright...what is..." He glanced past Zoro and saw the babies in the girls arms. Each quite a bit paler than Saga and Zoro, with patches of blonde hair perched atop their round heads. "...Zoro...they're..."

"They're Sanji's," Zoro replied, sighing and sticking his hands in his pockets. "I've known for a while... Since before they came out. I didn't tell you because..." He couldn't answer without sounding like an asshole.

"Well..." Saga tried not to look or sound hurt, "...its an easy mistake right? I mean...it was still early the last time I saw you...so...mistakes happen..." He looked at the little blonde bundles of joy, simultaneously happy they'd grow up with both their parents, but equally sad that he wasn't one of their parents.

Zoro nodded, sighing. "You can see them... But careful about Sanji, stupid bastard's more obsessed with the kids than women..." he joked, trying to lighten the mood. "...Better that you don't spend your life thinking you could have done more for 'em, right? Even better if they aren't even yours."

Saga chuckled, "Yeah, it'd only been a couple months and I was already beating myself up over it. I'm disappointed, sure, but I'm also a bit relieved." He looked down at Liam and ran a finger over the blonde fluff. "What're their names?"

"The big one's Liam and the one that looks most like the shit cook is Duke," Zoro snorted, taking over Duke and the girls handing over both babies before leaving Zoro and Saga alone.

"Hate to burst your bubble, but they both look exactly the same to me." Saga took Liam in his arms. "So...this one's...Duke? Or no....Liam?"

"No, that's Liam. The one that looks like me." Zoro knew the twins looked exactly alike, but he could see that at least they had some of his features. He could tell the perfect difference between them.

"Well, they do have your eyes, not a doubt about that. Even if they aren't your color." Saga consented, "You sure Sanji doesn't mind me holding them?" He brought a hand up to poke at Liam's cheeks, but his finger was quickly grabbed by the itty-bitty hands.

"No way, only Liam looks like me," Zoro snorted, pouting childishly and poking at Liam. "Yeah, he's just fine. S'not like he's going to come charging in here like the cavalry just to take him away from you."

"Well, he may not charge, but he sure seems like he wants to. He's been glaring at me through that window since I stepped aboard." Saga handed Liam back to Zoro. "I'm afraid if I hold him any longer he really will run in and abscond with them." He chuckled a bit, though a tad nervously.

Zoro snorted and bounced the babies a bit. "He's just being a dick. And papa's being a bitch, isn't he?" Zoro cooed, making his son giggle and coo back.

Saga sighed, smiling as he quirked an eyebrow. "Well, I should probably head out. I think I've..." Saga could practically see the murderous aura seeping out from the galley, "...overstayed my welcome." He leapt onto the railing. "I'll see you around, Zoro. Hopefully they'll be walking and talking the next time I see you." He leapt onto his own ship, and minutes later, the Marine ship was turning away, heading off to god knows where. 

"Yeah, see ya..." Zoro smiled and waved, then picked the babies up and brought them into the galley. "He's gone, Sanji."

Sanji was back with his babies the second Saga had disappeared onto his own ship. He picked Liam and Duke up out of Zoro's arms. "I'm not being a bitch." He held the twins close and stalked off, mumbling and grumbling as he went back into the galley. It was time to feed the kids.

Zoro snorted. "Were to being a bitch."

"Well," Nami chirped, pretty sure she and Robin had been forgotten, "that went better than expected~"

Robin smiled and took her seat, picking up her book again. "Yes, quite nice."

Sanji was in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on a nutritious, fruit and vegetable medley purée for the twins. Franky had devised bouncer seats for the kids, powered by cola with over twelve different functions. After a couple kicks to his metal noggin, the seats were reduced to something a little less dangerous.

Zoro leaned against the counter, watching the babies bounce in their seats, knowing and smelling their meal. "Think they'll be teething soon?"

"Should be any time now. I think Liam's got one coming in. He's been drooling a lot more than usual, and he's been really fussy lately. More so than usual. I've been working on a recipe for those teething cookies. Don't want you eating too much sugar~ Don't want anything to upset that cute little belly, right, Liam~?" Sanji rubbed noses with Liam and Liam smiled, more drool sliding down his chin, soaking into his bib.

Zoro snorted. "He's drooling all over you, how can you find that cute?"

"Everything about my babies is cute. I love them too much to care about a little drool." He grabbed the burping towel and gently wiped the slobbery chin. "There we go." He stood up and went over to the warm food, scooping it into a bowl.

"Yeah, yeah... Sure, everything's real nice about babies. Creepy little vultures." He loved his children...but seriously.

Sanji frowned at Zoro's choice of words, but he didn't say anything as he spooned some of the green mush. "Come on Duke, open up. Theeere we go..." He never had trouble feeding Duke, Duke was an easy baby. Liam, on the other hand, was difficult, fussy. Sanji turned his attention back to Zoro. "I don't get how you can be so indifferent. I feel like I was born to do this."

"It's not like I don't want the kids, damn, after them getting here I can't think of anything else, but really, you're like all over them!" he huffed, rolling his eyes and moving around Sanji. "Want me to feed Liam?"

"Good luck." Sanji chuckled a bit. "Liam's is the squash one. He doesn't like peas."

"Hey, I've fed him before. It wasn't...that much...of a disaster." Zoro picked up the food and held a spoonful up to his son, only for the baby to blow a rasberry at him and shove the spoon away, flinging food over at Sanji.

Sanji sighed and straightened up, finding a clean spot on the burping towel to wipe the squash from his face and hair. "Watch it, Marimo, at least get it all over yourself instead of all over an innocent bystander." He scooped up some of the peas and launched it at Zoro, the peas splattering in his hair. "Oh, look, it matches."

Zoro grunted and glared, taking the whole bowl of baby food and dumping it on Sanji's head. There, now they were even.

"Hey! That's Liam's special "made with love from Papa squash medley." Don't go spilling it carelessly!" He took Liam's pea puree and shoved it in Zoro's face.

"Oof! Yeah well shove it up your ass!" Zoro shoved Sanji and crossed his arms childishly, taking his stand.

Sanji almost fell over, but he quickly righted himself, he wiped some of the orange glop off his hair and wiped it in Zoro's face. He leaned in and whispered teasingly, "You're the only one who ever gets anything shoved up his ass."

"Oi, not in front of the kids!" Zoro grabbed all the globby substance and shoved it in Sanji's face. It was then he noticed the babies were both clapping and gurgling with happiness. "Shit, they're getting off on this."

Sanji wipe the ruined food from his face, looking at it with distaste. "I know better than to do anything in front of the kids." He leaned in towards Liam who clapped his hands over Sanji's food smeared face. "These kids are gonna grow up into little monsters." Liam took his hands away and sucked the food of them, smiling around his fist.

"Yup." Zoro sighed and shook his head. "Well...at least they'll...survive."

"Yeah, no doubt about that." Sanji sighed, "Well, at least something good came out of it." Sanji went over to the stove and mixed the two purees together. "I finally found something Liam'll eat."

"Yeah..." Zoro nodded and sighed, going to the sink to get a rag and try to rub out the purée. "That's good. Shit, hopefully we can do this all in one piece."

"I'm sure we'll make it, but it'll be a hell of a fight getting there. Just like always." Sanji smiled as he fed Liam, pleasantly surprised when Liam eagerly ate up the odd mix of foods. "Ain't that right, Marimo?"

"Mhm. Well, s'long as they don't wind up dead before I can properly kick their asses for causing us so much trouble."

"Do you have any idea how many times you've slept through their 1am crying fits? No way in hell do you get first dibs." Sanji pointed the food covered spoon in Zoro's face, "And don't you even think they'll wind up dead before us."

"Maybe I just sleep better than you. Should've made sure they got my sleeping habits." Zoro rolled his eyes and got a wet rag and started to wipe at Duke's face.

"What makes you think sleeping through their fits is a good thing?" He spooned the last bit of food into Liam's mouth. "What a good boy~ Eating everything up~"

"Not saying that it's good to sleep through 'em, but it'd be better for them to actually sleep at night," Zoro snorted, wiping away the food off his son.

"They'll grow out of it..." At least, he hoped they would.

"All kids do, right?"

"I wouldn't know."

"Me neither." Zoro sighed and picked Duke up out of the high chair, bouncing him in his arms. "We should dump 'em on someone else and take a break."

"And do what?" Sanji wiped Liam’s face before picking him up and beginning to pat his back.

"I don't know..." Zoro sighed and rubbed Duke's back, which started to lull the baby to sleep. "This one falls asleep quick.”

"Like I've said. He's a good baby. Liam on the other hand..." the baby let out a burp and Sanji smiled. "You take after your Mommy~ Always so difficult."

"Oi, I am not difficult. That one's more like you. At least Duke goes with the flow," Zoro sighed, rocking the baby in his arms

"Hardly. Since when have you ever made anything easy for me?" Sanji kissed the tuft of blonde hair. "Please don't turn out like your mommy..."

Zoro made a face and kissed at Duke's cheeks. "Hey, kid, don't turn out like a prissy fussy pervert like daddy, hunh?"

"Don't you, or your brother, turn into a stupid, lazy, grumpy, useless lump of a swordsman like your mommy." He walked away from Zoro, hiding his smirk.

"As long as the kids don't end up like a you," Zoro snorted, shaking his head and following Sanji out. Perfect family, right there.

**o()o The End o()o**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so happy to be done with this u guys have no idea. srsly its been at least a year since we wrote this aghdldkydjcgh;'gjfog;d
> 
> anyways. thanks for reading
> 
> thanks for the kudos and comments
> 
> y'all are awesome
> 
> uwu


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